Chapter 5
Etiquette of Hospitality
34851: Ruling on students standing up for the teacher
Question:
It is customary when the teacher enters the classroom
for the students to stand up as a sign of respect, and
the teachers tell them to do that. Some teachers punish
a student who does not stand up for them, and that
is regarded as a kind of bad manners. What is the ruling
on that?.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
We have already discussed the ruling on standing up
for one who comes in, in question no. 34497. This
ruling includes students standing up for the teacher.
Shaykh `Abd al-`Azeez ibn Baaz (may Allaah have
mercy on him) said:
I have heard that many teachers tell the students to
stand up for them when they enter the classroom.
Undoubtedly this goes against the saheeh Sunnah.
It was proven that the Messenger of Allaah (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "Whoever
likes the people to stand up for him, let him take his place
in Hell." Narrated by Imam Ahmad, Abu Dawood and
al-Tirmidhi from Mu'aawiyah (may Allaah be pleased
with him) with a saheeh isnaad. Imam Ahmad and
al-Tirmidhi also narrated with a saheeh isnaad from Anas (may
Allaah be pleased with him): "No person was dearer to
them than the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him), but when they saw him they did not stand up
for him because they knew that he disliked that."
So the Sunnah is not to stand up for teachers when
they enter classrooms, in accordance with these two
hadeeth and other similar reports.
It is not permissible for the teacher to tell them to
stand up for him, because of the warning mentioned
concerning that in the hadeeth of Mu'aawiyah, and it is makrooh
for the students to stand up, because of the hadeeth of
Anas quoted above. It is well known that all goodness is to
be found in following the Sunnah of the Messenger of
Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and
following his example and that of his companions (may Allaah
be pleased with them). May Allaah make us and you
among those who follow him in truth and help us to
understand His religion and adhere steadfastly to it.
Majallat al-Buhooth al-Islamiyyah, 26/347. Islam Q&A
(www.islam-qa.com)
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34497: Ruling on standing up for who comes in,
and kissing him
Question:
What is the ruling on standing up for who comes in,
and kissing him?.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
With regard to standing up for who comes in, Shaykh
al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah gave a detailed answer to
this question, based on shar'i evidence, which we think
should be quoted because it serves the purpose. He said:
It was not the custom of the salaf at the time of the
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and
the Rightly-Guided Caliphs to stand up every time they
saw him [the Prophet] (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him), as many people do. Rather Anas ibn Maalik
said: "No person was dearer to them than the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), but when they
saw him they did not stand up for him because they knew
that he disliked that." Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2754;
classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh
al-Tirmidhi. But they may have stood up for one who was returning from
away, in order to greet him, as it was narrated that the
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) stood up
for `Ikrimah, and he said to the Ansaar when Sa'd
ibn Mu'aadh came: "Stand up for your chief." Narrated
by al-Bukhaari, 3043; Muslim, 1768. That was when
he [Sa'd] came to pass judgement on Banu Qurayzah, because they said that would accept his verdict.
What people should do is get accustomed to
following the salaf in their customs at the time of the Messenger
of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him),
for they are the best of generations and the best of speech
is the Word of Allaah, and the best of guidance is
the guidance of Muhammad (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him). No one should turn away from the
guidance of the best of mankind and the guidance of the best
of generations and follow something that is inferior to
it. And the chief or leader should not approve of that
among his companions, so that when they see him they
should not stand up for him, rather they should simply greet
him in the usual manner.
With regard to standing up for one who has come from
a journey and the like, to greet him, that is fine. If it is
the custom of the people to honour one who comes
by standing up for him, and if that may make him feel
insulted if they do not do it, and he does not know the custom
that is in accordance with the Sunnah, then it is better to
stand up for him, because that will create a good
relationship between them and will remove rancour and hatred. But
if a person is familiar with the custom of some people
that is in accordance with the Sunnah, not doing that will
not offend him.
Standing up for a newcomer is not the standing
mentioned in the words of the Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him): "Whoever likes the people to stand up
for him, let him take his place in Hell." Narrated by
al-Tirmidhi, 2755; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in
Saheeh al-Tirmidhi. That refers to when they stand up for
him when he is seated; it does not refer to when they stand
up to welcome him when he comes. Hence the
scholars differentiated between the two types of standing,
because those who stand up to greet a newcomer are equal
with him, unlike those who stand for one who remains seated.
It was proven in Saheeh Muslim that when the
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) led them
in prayer sitting down, because he was ill, and they
prayed standing, he told them to sit down and said: "Do
not venerate me as the Persians venerate one another."
And he forbade them to stand in prayer whilst he was
sitting, lest they resemble the Persians who used to stand for
their leaders whilst the leaders were seated. In conclusion,
the best is to follow the customs and attitude and views
of the salaf as much as possible.
If a person does not believe in that and is not
familiar with this custom, and if not dealing with him in the
manner in which people are accustomed to showing respect
will lead to a greater evil, then we should ward off the
greater of two evils by doing the lesser of them, and do that
which serves a greater interest at the expense that which
serves the lesser interest.
End quote from Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah.
What will make this clearer is the report narrated in
al-Saheehayn concerning the story of Ka'b ibn Maalik,
when Allaah accepted his repentance and that of his
two companions (may Allaah be pleased with them all),
in which it says that when Ka'b entered the mosque,
Talhah ibn `Ubayd-Allaah stood up, ran to him and greeted
him, and congratulated him on Allaah's forgiveness, and
the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
did not denounce that. This indicates that it is permissible
to stand up for someone who comes in, and to shake
his hand and greet him. Similar to this is the report that
when the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) entered upon his daughter Faatimah, she would stand
up for him and take his hand, and make him sit in her
place. And when she entered upon him, he would take her
hand and make her sit in his place. Classed as saheeh by
al-Tirmidhi.
Secondly:
With regard to kissing, there is evidence narrated
from the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) which indicates that this is allowed in sharee'ah. It
was narrated that `Aa'ishah (may Allaah be pleased with
her) said: Zayd ibn Haarithah came to Madeenah and
the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah
be upon him) was in my house. He came to him and
knocked at the door, and the Messenger of Allaah (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him) stood up (to open
the door) for him wearing nothing but an izaar (waist
wrapper) dragging his garment, and by Allaah I never saw
him wearing nothing but an izaar before or after that. And
he embraced him and kissed him. Narrated by
al-Tirmidhi, who said: a hasan hadeeth.
This hadeeth indicates that it is allowed to do that
with one who comes. But this hadeeth was classed as
da'eef by al-Albaani in Da'eef al-Tirmidhi, 2732.
It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be
pleased with him) said: The Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) kissed al-Hasan ibn `Ali. Al-Aqra'
ibn Haabis said: "I have ten children and I have never
kissed any of them." The Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) said: "He will not be shown mercy
who does not show mercy (to others)." Agreed upon.
This hadeeth indicates that kissing is prescribed if it
is done out of mercy and compassion. With regard to
kissing when meeting someone in a the regular manner, there
is evidence that indicates that this is not prescribed, and
that it is sufficient to shake hands. It was narrated
that Qataadah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: I
said to Anas, "Did the companions of the Messenger of
Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
shake hands?" He said, "Yes." Narrated by al-Bukhaari.
And it was narrated from Anas that when the people
of Yemen came, the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "The people
of Yemen have come, and they are the first who came
shaking hands." Narrated by Abu Dawood with a saheeh isnaad.
It was narrated that al-Bara' (may Allaah be pleased
with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "There are no two
Muslims who meet and shake hands, but they will be
forgiven before they part." Narrated by Abu Dawood and
Ahmad; narrated and classed as saheeh by al-Tirmidhi; also
classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi
Dawood, 5212.
It was narrated that Anas (may Allaah be pleased
with him) said: A man said, "O Messenger of Allaah, when
a man among us meets his brother and friend, should
he bow to him?" He said, "No." He said, "Should he
embrace him and kiss him?" He said, "No." He said, "Should
he take his hand and shake hands?" He said, "Yes."
Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, who said: a hasan hadeeth; but he
also said that its isnaad is da'eef, because it includes
Hanzalah al-Sadoosi, who is da'eef according to the scholars.
But perhaps al-Tirmidhi classed it as hasan because there
are other ahaadeeth which support it. It was also classed
as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh
al-Tirmidhi, 2728.
Ahmad, al-Nasaa'i, al-Tirmidhi and others narrated
with their saheeh isnaads, and al-Tirmidhi classed it as
saheeh, from Safwaan ibn `Assaal that two Jews asked the
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) about
the nine clear signs (given to Moosa), and when he
answered their question, they kissed his hands and feet and
said, "We bear witness that you are a Prophet."
Al-Tabaraani narrated with a jayyid isnaad from
Anas (may Allaah be pleased with him) that he said: When
the companions of the Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) met, they would shake hands, and
when they came from a journey they would embrace
one another." This was mentioned by Ibn Muflih in
al-Adaab al-Shar'iyyah.
And Allaah is the Source of strength. May Allaah
send blessings and peace upon our Prophet Muhammad
and his family and companions.
Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa'imah, 1/144-147.
And Allaah knows best.
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13776: Ruling on standing up to welcome a newcomer
Question:
A man came in when I was in a gathering, and the
people present stood up for him, but I did not stand up. Do
I have to stand up? Is there any sin on those who did
stand up?
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
You do not have to stand up for someone who comes
in, but it is good manners, if someone stands up for you,
to shake his hand, especially the head of the household
and prominent people. This is the matter of good
manners. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) stood up for Faatimah, and she stood up for him,
may Allaah be pleased with her. The Sahaabah (may
Allaah be pleased with them) stood up, on the
Prophet's command, for Sa'd ibn Mu'aadh when he came to
pass judgement on Bani Qurayzah. Talhah ibn `Ubayd
Allaah (may Allaah be pleased with him) stood up in front of
the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
when Ka'b ibn Maalik (may Allaah be pleased with him)
came after Allaah had accepted his repentance; he shook
his hand and congratulated him, then sat down. This is
the matter of good manners and this is broad issue. What
is denouncable is when people stand up and remain
standing by way of veneration. But if a person stands up to
welcome his guest and honour him, or to shake hands with him
or greet him, this is something which is prescribed in
Islam. But to remain standing when people are sitting by way
of veneration, or standing at the door without
greeting anyone or shaking hands with anyone, this should not
be done. Even worse than that is standing up to venerate
a person when he is sitting down, not for the sake
of guarding him but only for the purpose of veneration.
There are three kinds of standing up, as the scholars
said :
(1) When people stand up for someone to venerate
him when he is sitting down, as the Persians venerated
their kings and leaders, as described by the Prophet (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him). This is not
permitted, and for this reason the Prophet (peace and blessings
of Allaah be upon him) told them to sit down when he
led them in prayer sitting down. He told them to sit
down and to pray behind him seated, and when they stood
up he said, "You almost venerated me like the
Persians venerate their leaders."
(2) When a person stands up when another person
comes in or goes out, without greeting him or shaking
hands with him, rather simply in order to venerate him. This
at the very least is makrooh. The Sahaabah (may Allaah
be pleased with them) used not to stand up for the
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) when
he came in to them, because they knew that he (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him) disliked that.
(3) When a person stands up for someone who has
come in, in order to shake his hand or to take his hand and
lead him to a seat, etc. There is nothing wrong with that,
rather it is the Sunnah as mentioned above.
Kitaab Majmoo' Fataawa wa Maqaalaat
Mutanawwi'ah li Samaahat al-Shaykh al-`Allaamah `Abd al-`Azeez
ibn `Abd-Allaah ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on
him), vol. 4, p. 394
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14578: When a person enters upon other people, does
he greet the oldest first or the youngest?
Question:
When I enter upon people and I want to greet them, do
I start with the oldest or the youngest?
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
This is an issue which some people do not
understand. When you meet someone or you enter upon someone
and you want to greet them (by shaking hands) or by
offering tea or coffee, then you should start with the oldest,
because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) had a miswaak (tooth-stick) in his hand and there
were two men in front of him. The younger man wanted
to take it, but he said to him, "The older, the older."
This is different to when there is a young man on
one's right and an old man on one's left, and one is
sitting between them. In that case one should start on the
right, even though that man is younger.
On this basis, when a person enters a gathering, he
should start with the oldest, but if he wants to give
something, then he should start with whoever is on his right, not
on the right of the oldest.
See al-Liqaa' al-Shahri, 13. (www.islam-qa.com)
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