Chapter 4
Transactions
Marriage: Conditions of Marriage
43483: Obstacles to a Christian woman marrying a
Muslim man
Question:
I allready posted my question yesterday, but in the
section "submit feedback" because I didn't understand why
this link wasn't working. Her followes my
problem/question: My boyfriend is a Muslim and has problems with
his parents accepting me. They never even have met me,
but his mother allready said to him several times that if
he doesn't leave me, he will never set a foot in their
house again, she has treatend that they will cut him off. I
don't know what his father thinks, he talkes to his mother
most of the time. (I understand that talking to a father is
often difficult in the Muslim culture) I know that Muslims
can mary Christians and Jews if the're chaste, and I
know that his parents aren't permitted to cut him off just
because they don't approve of this, but what are we to do
when even talking about it is out of the question ? What am I
to do when they judge me before they even got to know
me ? We are boy- and girlfriend and that isn't acceptable
in Islam, but we would like to mary. (Our kids will be
raised as Muslims and I'm planning to learn more about the
Islam so that there's no confusion) My boyfriend doesn't
want to hurt anyone, especially not his parents, he has
great respect for them. He can't make his parents see that
he loves me so much and that I'm a good girl. Also I
can't help him and talk to them, because he said that it's
not allowed to bring a woman/girl into his parents house.
How can I help him with this ? Why is't talking about it
possible ? How can you solve problems when you can't even
have a discussion ? Didn't Allah create people so they
would know one another ? I believe in God/Allah, I'm trying
to be a good person and pray every day. My parents
raised me as a christian, but sinds I got to know a little bit
about the Islam I can't believe in the christian's ways
anymore. I think that the Islam is for me, but my boyfriend and
I agreed that we concentrate on this when our problem
_ accepting of his parents of us - is solved. I want my
relation with Allah to be pure and not being influenced by
other things; A boyfriend can not be the reason why I
should accept the Islam in my life, can it ? Am I to blame when
I accept the islam _ and keep on believing in Allah as I
do now- to make things easyer for us, because the
parents want that. I know a good Muslim not only thinks
about him-/her-self and has to think about all the people
around him/her, but I can't accept the fact that our love has
to end, just because his parents want this. Is this the will
of Allah ?
Please give us advise on what to do. Why can't they
talk to me ? How can we make them understand that
they cannot judge before they even know me ? And do
you have any advise for him, is it going to be a very
difficult dicision.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah. We ask Allaah to guide you and
to show you the right path, for He is Able to do that.
Firstly:
We thank you for submitting your question to this
Islamic website, which indicates that you have trust and are
keen to find out the correct answer.
Secondly:
A number of the things that you find strange, as
mentioned in your question, are regarded by us Muslims as
normal, whereas others find them objectionable.
The reason is well known among the Muslims: the
attitude of worldview of the Muslim is based on full
submission to the rulings of Allaah and His Messenger (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him), and total obedience
to Allaah, the Creator, the Provider, the Giver of life
and death, because He has enjoined that upon us, and
He knows best what is right for us.
For example: you find it very strange that your
boyfriend's parents denounce the relationship between you,
because according to the way you were brought up and what
you are used to in the non-Islamic society in which you
live, you think that this relationship is something natural
and normal, in which two human souls come together
and feel at ease with one another and satisfy their
physical inclinations; he does things for you and you do things
for him in return, and he speaks softly to you and you
speak softly to him, and you can exchange gifts, etc.
Islam does not forbid kind words, good treatment
and gift-giving, but a Muslim man should not be alone with
a non-mahram woman [i.e., one who is not a close
blood relative] and be intimate with her outside the
framework of marriage, because the evil consequences and harm
that that leads to, such as loss of chastity, committing
zina (unlawful sexual relationship), the violation of
honour, conception of illegitimate children and confusion
of lineage, are far worse than nice relationships and
the exchange of gifts.
If it were not for the intimacy you are seeking from
one another, the nice treatment you are giving to one
another would not have taken place.
Also if there is the firm intention and resolve to get
married in the future and have children who will grow up
as Muslims, that still does not justify this
forbidden relationship which involves many things that are
forbidden in Islam.
We wonder, if the relationship is so deep and strong,
and you have the sincere intention of getting married,
why don't you both repent from this forbidden
relationship and immediately enter upon a proper,
legitimate relationship as allowed in Islam, based on marriage
which Allaah has prescribed.
The Islamic marriage contract is not something
difficult or complicated, rather it is very easy. See question
no. 2127 and 813 for more information about the
marriage contract in Islam.
Thirdly:
It is not true that speaking to one's father is difficult
among Muslims. There is no society that is more
distinguished by its strong family ties than the Muslim societies.
Indeed, a quick glance at the state of the family in the west
will show that sons are far away from their parents and
the parents' rights are not respected, let alone what that
leads to of children being neglected and daughters being
lost. Islam enjoins children to show respect to their parents,
as non-Muslims who do not enjoy such a relationship
realize. Because the mother tends to be gentle, loving
and compassionate towards her children, and the father
tends be to strict and take a rational and unemotional
approach towards things, many children find it easier to talk to
their mothers than to their fathers, especially with regard
to emotional problems. But that does not mean that it
is difficult for Muslims to talk to their fathers.
But some people may have been brought up in a way
that was not entirely right, which may have affected some
of their behaviour and attitudes, but only in a general
sense. The Muslim is supposed to love his fellow-Muslim
who is a stranger, so what about one who is close to him
_ what about sons and fathers? Each of them should
care about the interests of the other and love that which is
best for him. This brings us to the second point: which is
that his parents' objection to this marriage does not mean
that they are trying to control their son and does not mean
that they have judged you without seeing you. Rather
any father _ and especially in a Muslim society _ wants
the best life for his son, and because the father has
greater experience of life and has lived longer, and he
knows how things are, he does not want his son to do
something reckless which he may later regret.
The father will try to keep his son away from
everything that may be labeled a failure, so he does not want him
to embark on something risky such as this marriage,
because marriage in Islam is a strong relationship which does
not just last for a limited time like the forbidden love
of boyfriends and girlfriends; rather it is a
relationship between the two spouses which should be ongoing
and stable. So the choice (of a marriage partner) should
only be made after much serious consideration and
consultation with those who know more about life than we
do. Naturally the difference of religion will be a cause
of division between spouses, or will cause problems in
the future, especially when children come along. We
have heard of many such problems on this site.
Yes, Islam does not forbid a Muslim man to marry a
chaste Christian or Jewish woman; Islam allows that, but it
does not encourage it. Our Prophet (peace and blessings
of Allaah be upon him) urged us to choose a wife who
is righteous, religiously committed and has a good attitude.
Hence the fact that his parents have rejected this
marriage was not a hasty judgement, rather it was because
they know how things are.
You may say, "My marriage to this man will be
different, but they don't realize that."
Again I say: it will be different, but no father wants
his son to go through an experience he does not
need, especially when the current relationship between you
is forbidden according to Islam.
Fourthly:
You ask, Will there by any blame on me if I accept
Islam _ outwardly _ and continue to believe in Allaah as I
do now?
The answer is that this is a serious matter. Our
pure monotheistic religion cannot be toyed with, or used
for personal motives. Hence one of the basic principles
of this religion is:
"There is no compulsion in religion. Verily, the Right
Path has become distinct from the wrong path.
Whoever disbelieves in Taaghoot and believes in Allaah, then
he has grasped the most trustworthy handhold that will
never break"
[al-Baqarah 2:256]
If a person enters the religion of Allaah as a game with
no serious intent, he deserves the curse of Allaah and he
will be with the disbelievers, as Allaah says (interpretation
of the meaning):
"Verily, the hypocrites will be in the lowest depth
(grade) of the Fire"[al-Nisa' 4:145]
Fifthly:
This problem may be solved in several ways, the
first, best and quickest of which is for you to start to learn
what Islam really is, the comprehensive nature of this
religion, and how it is in accordance with the sound nature of man.
So learn about the religion of Islam, for no other
reason than to find out the truth and to get out of the
vicious circle of confusing ideas and beliefs that go against
sound nature and reason.
Then _ if you strive hard _ you will come to know
the clear truth and the light of certain faith, and the matter
of marriage will become easy for you _ if Allaah wills.
There is nothing wrong with your marriage to this man being
a reason for you finding out about Islam.
But if you take this first step, it is better and
more appropriate than getting married and then thinking
about Islam.
If the family consists of two Muslim spouses from
the outset, then Allaah will bless it and care for it, and
they will be the basis of a family that is beloved to
Allaah, because it is Muslim.
Perhaps if you and your boyfriend announce that you
have repented and get married according to Islamic
sharee'ah, this will reduce his parents' worries and negative attitude.
If you tell them that you have entered Islam, then the
One Who is more important than anyone else will be
pleased with that, namely Allaah, may He be exalted. If you
please Allaah, no matter whom you anger among your
family, He will be pleased with you and will cause people to
be pleased with you.
It may be appropriate _ but you need to think about
this and choose the right time_ for you to visit his
mother yourself, without your boyfriend being with you, so
you can tell her that you are keen to enter Islam and
repent from this forbidden relationship, and marry her
son according to the laws of Allaah.
As we have mentioned above, Islam allows marriage
to chaste non-Muslim women, so why not start to live
a chaste and pure life, far away from any relationship
that goes against that?
Your saying that your boyfriend cannot be the reason
why you accept Islam is true in a sense, in that you will
become Muslim not for love of this person but for love of
the truth and love of Allaah Who has chosen Islam as
the religion for mankind. The evidence for this is clear
and does not need a strong emotional motive, because
the evidence and proof of the truth is sufficient.
We must not forget, before ending this answer,
to commend the phrase you used in your question, which is,
"Since I got to know a little bit about Islam I can't
believe in the Christians' ways any more."
This indicates that you are very close to the truth and
that your conviction is taking the right shape, and that
truth and falsehood cannot reside together in your heart.
This is a good sign.
Ask Allaah to guide you to the path of truth and to
open your eyes to the light.
May Allaah guide you to the straight path. And
Allaah knows best.
For more information please see questions no.
33656, 20884. 2527.
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48992: A new Muslimah has married a Muslim man without her family's knowledge
Question:
I am a Chinese girl married to a Lebanese Muslim
man. The main reason for this is that I have become
Muslim… we got married in the Islamic manner, but this
marriage was done without the knowledge of our families,
because of some difficult circumstances.
Do you think that this is haraam? I mean, is it against
the Qur'aan [Qur'an, Quran]?.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
The evidence from the Qur'aan [Qur'an, Quran] and Sunnah indicates
that a woman should not get married without a wali
(guardian) to look after her and protect her interests, lest she
be deceived by the devils among men. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"Wed them with the permission of their own
folk (guardians, Awliyaa' or masters)"
[al-Nisa' 4:25]
It was narrated from Abu Moosa al-Ash'ari that
the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
said: "There is no (valid) marriage without a wali
(guardian)." Narrated by the five and classed as saheeh by Ibn
al-Madeeni.
Al-Tirmidhi said: This is the correct view concerning
this issue, based on the hadeeth of the Prophet (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him), "There is no
marriage without a wali (guardian)," according to the
scholars among the companions of the Messenger of Allaah
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), such as `Umar
ibn al-Khattaab, `Ali ibn Abi Taalib, `Abd-Allaah
ibn `Abbaas, Abu Hurayrah and others.
If one of your close male relatives is a Muslim, such
as your father, brother, uncle or cousin, then he is your
wali with regard to marriage, and your marriage is not
valid without his permission and consent. He should do
the marriage contract for you himself or appoint someone
to do it on his behalf.
If all your close male relatives are non-Muslims, then
a kaafir cannot be the wali (guardian) of a Muslim.
Ibn Qudaamah said: With regard to a kaafir, he cannot
be the wali of a Muslim in any situation, according
to scholarly consensus.
Ibn al-Mundhir said: Those from whom we
acquired knowledge are unanimously agreed on that.
Imam Ahmad said: We have heard that `Ali allowed
a marriage done by a brother, but he rejected a
marriage done by a father who was a Christian.
Al-Mughni, 7/356.
And a Muslim cannot be a guardian for the marriage
of his kaafir children's marriage. Shaykh al-Islam
Ibn Taymiyah was asked about a man who had become Muslim; could he still be a wali for his children who
were people of the Book?
He replied: He cannot be their guardian with regard
to marriage, or with regard to inheritance. A Muslim
cannot do the marriage contract for a kaafir woman, whether
she is his daughter or anyone else. And a kaafir cannot
inherit from a Muslim or a Muslim from a kaafir. This is
the view of the four imams and their companions among
the earlier and later generations. Allaah has severed the
ties of guardianship between believers and disbelievers in
His Book, and has decreed that they should have nothing
to do with one another, and that the ties of
wilaayah (guardianship) exist among the believers. (32/35) But
a Muslim woman should tell her family about that and
seek their approval, so that this will help to open their
hearts to Islam.
The question here is: what should a Muslim woman
who does not have a Muslim wali do?
The answer is:
A Muslim who is in a position of authority or status
should do the marriage contract for her, such as the head of
an Islamic centre, the imam of a mosque, or a scholar. If
she cannot find anyone like this, then she should appoint
a Muslim man of good character to do the marriage
contract for her.
Shaykh al-Islam said: In the case of a woman who
does not have a wali among her relatives, if there is in
her locality a representative of the ruler or the chief of
the village, or a leader who is obeyed, then he can do
the marriage contract for her with her permission. (32/35).
Ibn Qudaamah said:
If a woman does not have a wali or a ruler, then there is
a report narrated from Ahmad which indicates that a
man of good character may do the marriage contract for
her with her permission. (7/352).
Al-Juwayni said: If she does not have a wali present,
and there is no (Muslim) ruler, then we know definitively
that closing the door of marriage is impossible in
sharee'ah, and whoever has any doubt about that does not have
a proper understanding of sharee'ah. To suggest that
the door of marriage may be closed is as bad as
suggesting that people may be prevented from earning a living.
Al-Ghayaathi 388. Then he stated that the ones who
should do that (do marriage contracts for women who have
no wali) are the scholars.
Conclusion:
If the marriage contract was done in this manner, and
the imam of an Islamic Centre in your country or a
Muslim man of good character did the marriage, then
your marriage is valid. But if you did the marriage
yourself (with no wali) then you have to go with your husband
to the nearest Islamic centre and repeat the nikaah
(marriage contract), and let the head of the centre, for example,
be your wali in marriage.
With regard to your husband, he does not have to tell
his family, because there is no stipulation that the
husband should have a wali.
And Allaah knows best.
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45645: A realistic look at marriage to women of the
People of the Book
Question:
Does a Muslim man have the right to marry a
Christian or Jewish woman as the Messenger (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) married Maariyah al-Qibtiyyah?.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) did not marry Maariyah al-Qibtiyyah, rather she was
his concubine. The Muqawqis, the ruler of Egypt, gave
her as gift to him after the Treaty of al-Hudaybiyah.
It is permissible to have intercourse with a slave
woman, even if she is not Muslim, because she is part of
"what one's right hand possesses," and Allaah has
permitted "what one's right hand possesses" without stipulating
that the slave woman be a Muslim. Allaah says
(interpretation of the meaning):
"And those who guard their chastity (i.e. private
parts, from illegal sexual acts)
6. Except from their wives or (the slaves) that their
right hands possess,.. for then, they are free from
blame" [al-Mu'minoon 23:5-6]
With regard to marrying a Christian or Jewish
woman, this is permissible according to the text of the
Qur'aan [Qur'an, Quran]. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"Made lawful to you this day are AtTayyibaat [all
kinds of Halaal (lawful) foods, which Allaah has made
lawful (meat of slaughtered eatable animals, milk products,
fats, vegetables and fruits)]. The food (slaughtered
cattle, eatable animals) of the people of the Scripture (Jews
and Christians) is lawful to you and yours is lawful to
them. (Lawful to you in marriage) are chaste women from
the believers and chaste women from those who were
given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) before your time
when you have given their due Mahr (bridal-money given
by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage),
desiring chastity (i.e. taking them in legal wedlock) not
committing illegal sexual intercourse, nor taking them as girlfriends"
[al-Maa'idah 5:5]
Ibn al-Qayyim said:
It is permissible to marry a woman from the People
of the Book. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"(Lawful to you in marriage) are chaste [muhsan]
women from the believers and chaste women from those who
were given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) before
your time" [al-Maa'idah 5:5]
Muhsan here means chaste; the same word is also used
in Soorat al-Nisa' to describe married women, who
are forbidden in marriage to anyone else. And it was
said that the chaste women to whom marriage is permitted
is free women, so slave women from the People of the
Book are not permissible. However, the first view is the
one which is correct, for several reasons…
The point is that Allaah has permitted us to marry
chaste women from among the People of the Book, and
the companions of the Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) did that. `Uthmaan married a
Christian woman, as did Talhah ibn `Ubayd-Allaah; and
Hudhayfah married a Jewish woman.
`Abd-Allaah ibn Ahmad said: I asked my father about
a Muslim man who married a Christian or Jewish
woman. He said: I do not like for him to do it, but if he does,
then some of the companions of the Prophet (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did that too.
Ahkaam Ahl al-Dhimmah, 2/794, 795.
Although we say that it is permissible, and we do
not doubt that there is a clear text concerning that,
nevertheless we do not think that a Muslim should marry a
kitaabi woman (a woman of the people of the Book), for
several reasons:
1 _ One of the conditions of marriage to a kitaabi
woman is that she should be chaste, but there are very few
chaste women to be found in those environments.
2 _ One of the conditions of marriage to a kitaabi
woman is that the Muslim man should be in charge of the
family. But what happens nowadays in that those who
marry women from kaafir countries marry them under their
laws, and there is a great deal of injustice in their systems.
They do not recognize a Muslim's authority over his wife
and children, and if the wife gets angry with her husband
she will destroy his household and take the children
away, with the support of the laws of her land and with the
help of their embassies in most countries. It is no secret
that the Muslim countries have no power to resist the
pressure of those countries and their embassies.
3 _ The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) encouraged us to look for Muslim wives who
are religiously committed. If a woman is Muslim but is
not religiously committed and of good character, then
the Muslim is not encouraged to marry her, because
marriage is not simply the matter of physical enjoyment only,
rather it is the matter of Allaah's rights and the spouse's
rights, and preserving his household, his honour and his
wealth, and bringing up his children. How can a man who
marries a kitaabi woman be certain that his sons and
daughters will be raised according to Islam when he is leaving
them in the hands of this mother who does not believe in
Allaah and associates others with Him?
Hence even though we say that it is permissible to
marry a kitaabi woman, it is not encouraged and we do not
advise it, because of the negative consequences that result
from that. The wise Muslim should choose the best woman
to bear his children and think in the long term about
his children and their religious upbringing. He should not
let his desire or worldly interests or transient outward
beauty blind him to reality; true beauty is the beauty of
religious commitment and good morals.
He should realize that if he forsakes these type of
women for the sake of that which is better for his
religious commitment and that of his children, Allaah
will compensate him with something better, because "Whoever gives up something for the sake of
Allaah, Allaah will compensate him with something better
than that, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah
be upon him) told us, the one who speaks the truth and
does not speak of his own whims and desires. Allaah is
the source of strength and the One Who guides to the
Straight Path.
See also the answer to question no. 2527
And Allaah knows best.
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44695: Are the Jews and Christians who exist
nowadays mushrikeen (polytheists) and is it permissible to
marry their women?
Question:
What is the ruling on marrying a Jewish or
Christian woman? Are the Jews and Christians of this age
regarded as people of the Book or as mushrikeen?.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
Marriage to a Jewish or Christian woman is
permissible according to the view of the majority of scholars.
Ibn Qudaamah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in
al-Mughni (7/99):
There is no difference of opinion among the
scholars concerning the permissibility of marrying free women
of the people of the Book. Among those from whom
this view was narrated are `Umar, `Uthmaan,
Talhah, Hudhayfah, Salmaan, Jaabir, and others.
Ibn al-Mundhir said: There is no sound narration
from any of the earliest generation to suggest that this is
haraam. Al-Khallaal narrated, with his isnaad, that
Hudhayfah, Talhah, al-Jaarood ibn al-Mu'alla and Udhaynah
al-`Abdi all married women from among the people of the
Book. This was also the view of the rest of the scholars.
The main evidence concerning that is the verse in
which Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"Made lawful to you this day are At Tayyibaat [all
kinds of Halaal (lawful) foods, which Allaah has made
lawful (meat of slaughtered eatable animals, milk products,
fats, vegetables and fruits)]. The food (slaughtered
cattle, eatable animals) of the people of the Scripture (Jews
and Christians) is lawful to you and yours is lawful to
them. (Lawful to you in marriage) are chaste women from
the believers and chaste women from those who were
given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) before your time
when you have given their due Mahr (bridal-money given
by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage),
desiring chastity (i.e. taking them in legal wedlock) not
committing illegal sexual intercourse, nor taking them as
girlfriends. And whosoever disbelieves in Faith, [i.e. in the
Oneness of Allaah and in all the other Articles of Faith i.e.
His (Allaah's) Angels, His Holy Books, His Messengers,
the Day of Resurrection and Al Qadar (Divine Preordainments)], then fruitless is his work; and in
the Hereafter he will be among the losers"
[al-Maa'idah 5:5]
What is meant by muhsanah (translated here as chaste)
is free and chaste women. Ibn Katheer (may Allaah
have mercy on him) said in his Tafseer:
This is the view of the majority here, and this is
what appears to be the case; lest she not only be a
dhimmiyah but also unchaste, in which case she will be totally
corrupt and her husband will end up as described in the
proverb, "He bought bad dates and was cheated in weights
and measures too". The apparent meaning of the verse is
that what is meant by al-muhsanaat (chaste women) is
women who refrain from zina, as Allaah says in another
verse (interpretation of the meaning):
"they (the above said slave-girls) should be
chaste [muhsanaat], not committing illegal sex, nor
taking boyfriends"
[al-Nisa' 4:25]
The Christians and Jews are kuffaar and
mushrikeen, according to the Qur'aan [Qur'an, Quran], but they are excluded from
the prohibition on marrying their women, because Allaah
says (interpretation of the meaning):
"And do not marry Al-Mushrikaat (idolatresses) till
they believe (worship Allaah Alone). And indeed a
slave woman who believes is better than a (free)
Mushrikah (idolatress), even though she pleases you"
[al-Baqarah 2:221]
This is the clearest way of reconciling between the
two verses.
Allaah has described them as being mushrikeen as
He says (interpretation of the meaning):
"They (Jews and Christians) took their rabbis and
their monks to be their lords besides Allaah (by obeying
them in things which they made lawful or unlawful
according to their own desires without being ordered by
Allaah), and (they also took as their Lord) Messiah, son of
Maryam (Mary), while they (Jews and Christians)
were commanded [in the Tawraat (Torah) and the
Injeel (Gospel)] to worship none but One Ilaah (God —
Allaah) Laa ilaaha illa Huwa (none has the right to be
worshipped but He). Praise and glory be to Him (far above is
He) from having the partners they associate (with Him)"
[al-Tawbah 9:31]
So they are kuffaar and mushrikeen, but Allaah
has permitted us to eat their meat and to marry their
women if they are chaste. This is an exemption from the
general meaning of the verse in Soorat al-Baqarah.
But it should be noted that it is better and safer not
to marry women of the people of the Book,
especially nowadays. Ibn Qudaamah (may Allaah have mercy
on him) said: "… as this is the case, it is better not to
marry a woman of the people of the Book, because `Umar
said to those who married women of the people of the
Book: `Divorce them,' so they divorced them, except
Hudhayfah. `Umar said to him: `Divorce her.' (Hudhayfah) said:
`Do you bear witness that she is haraam?' He said: `She is
a live coal, divorce her.' He said: `Do you bear witness
that she is haraam?' He said: `She is a live coal.' He said:
`I know that she is a live coal, but she is permissible
for me.' A while later, he divorced her and it was said to
him: `Why did you not divorce her when `Umar
commanded you to?' He said: `I did not want the people to think
that I had done something wrong (by marrying her).'
Perhaps he was fond of her or perhaps they had a child together
so he was fond of her."
Al-Mughni, 7/99
Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him)
said: "If the woman of the people of the Book is known to
be chaste and to keep away from the means that lead
to immorality, it is permissible, because Allaah has
permitted that and has permitted us to marry their woman and
eat their meat.
"But nowadays there is the fear that those who marry
them may be faced with much evil. They may call him to
their religion and that may lead to their children being
raised as Christians. So the danger is very real and very
serious. To be on the safe side, the believer should not marry
them. And in most cases there is no guarantee that the
woman will not commit immoral actions, or bring along
children from a previous relationship… but if the man needs to
do that then there is no sin on him, so that he can keep
himself chaste and lower his gaze by being married to her.
He should strive to call her to Islam and beware of her
evil and of allowing her to drag him or the children
towards kufr."
Fataawa Islamiyyah, 3/172
And Allaah knows best.
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12708: Is it acceptable to marry a girl who has not
yet started her menses?
Question:
I have not yet reached the age of puberty. Is it correct
that a girl could get married before her menses start, or is
that just a traditional myth?.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
Marriage to a young girl before she reaches puberty
is permissible according to sharee'ah, and it was
narrated that there was scholarly consensus on this point.
1 _ Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"And those of your women as have passed the age
of monthly courses, for them the `Iddah (prescribed
period), if you have doubt (about their periods), is three
months; and for those who have no courses [(i.e. they are
still immature) their `Iddah (prescribed period) is three
months likewise"
[al-Talaaq 65:4]
In this verse we see that Allaah states that for those
who do not menstruate _ because they are young and have
not yet reached the age of puberty _ the `iddah in the case
of divorce is three months. This clearly indicates that it
is permissible for a young girl who has not started
her periods to marry.
Al-Tabari (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
The interpretation of the verse "And those of your
women as have passed the age of monthly courses, for them
the `Iddah (prescribed period), if you have doubt (about
their periods), is three months; and for those who have
no courses [(i.e. they are still immature) their
`Iddah (prescribed period) is three months
likewise". He said: The same applies to the `idaah for girls who do
not menstruate because they are too young, if their
husbands divorce them after consummating the marriage with them.
Tafseer al-Tabari, 14/142
2 _ It was narrated from `Aa'ishah (may Allaah be
pleased with her) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) married her when she was six years
old, and consummated the marriage with her when she
was nine, and she stayed with him for nine years.
Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4840; Muslim, 1422.
Ibn `Abd al-Barr said:
The scholars are unanimously agreed that a father
may marry off his young daughter without consulting her.
The Messenger of Allaah married `Aa'ishah bint Abi
Bakr when she was young, six or seven years old, when
her father married her to him.
Al-Istidhkaar, 16/49-50.
Secondly:
The fact that it is permissible to marry a minor girl
does not imply that it is permissible to have intercourse
with her, rather the husband should not have intercourse
with her until she becomes able for that. Hence the
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
delayed consummating the marriage to `Aa'ishah (may Allaah
be pleased with her).
And Allaah knows best.
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22760: Do I have to obey my father in choosing a
husband, and how can I make him more even-tempered?
Question:
I have a question about marriage, my father believes
that being Bengali, he's daughters should only get married
to a Bengali man, the thing is, my dad likes to be a pillar
of society and likes to have control over everything we
do, Can you give me proof that it is ok for the daughters
to choose who they get married to, despite whether they
are Pakistani, Indian or Bengali, as long as he is good in
terms of religion and suitability, my father believes that
girl's haven't got the right to choos who they get married
to, only he does, but I think the people he chooses are
only chosen for the fact that they will give him a good
name and because he they are Bengali. Is it possible for the
girl to make her own choice in terms of who she gets
married to if she finds a suitabaly compatible, religious and
good man of a different nationality with similar status
and wealth, even if her dad doesn't like him because of
his nationality?
Also my father is very controlling, picking and
choosing what he wishes to believe in terms of religion, he likes
to show off his wealth and power and build his name,
can you give me any supplications which will help to
make him a more mild mannered and diplomatic man? I
would be very grateful if you could help me in this matter.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
The presence of the wali (guardian) is one of
the conditions of marriage, and a woman's marriage is
not valid unless this condition is met. This is the correct
view and is the view of the majority of scholars. See
question no. 2127.
The person who has the most right to be a
woman's guardian is her father, but if it is proven that he is
not qualified for this role then it moves to the next
closest relative, such as her grandfather for example.
For more information on this issue, with evidence,
please see question no. 7193 and
31119.
Secondly:
With regard to the conditions and qualities that should
be present in the husband, the most important of these
is religious commitment. The Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "If there comes to you
one with whose religious commitment and character you
are pleased, then marry [your daughter or female
relative under your care] to him, for if you do not do that
there will be fitnah (tribulation) on earth and much
corruption." Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (1005) and classed as saheeh
by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi, 1084.
See also question no. 6942 and
5202.
Thirdly:
One of the shar'i conditions of marriage is the consent
of the wife, because the Prophet (peace and blessings
of Allaah be upon him) said, "A previously-married
woman should not be married without consulting her and a
virgin should not be married without asking her
permission." They said, "O Messenger of Allaah, how does she
give her permission?" He said, "If she remains silent."
Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4741; Muslim, 2543.
No one has the right to force a girl to marry anyone,
but at the same time she does not have the right to get
married without her guardian's permission.
The presence of the guardian is an important
condition for a marriage to be valid, but a girl should not be
forced into marrying someone who she does not want to
marry, and she is not regarded as disobeying her parents in
this case. Shaykh al-Islam [Ibn Taymiyah] said: "The
parents do not have the right to force their son to marry
someone whom he does not want, and if he refuses he is not
being disobedient, like eating something that he does not
want." Al-Ikhtiyaaraat, p. 344
Fourthly:
With regard to your father and the way he is, we offer
the following advice:
(i) Make du'aa' for him in his absence. There is no
specific du'aa', so pray to Allaah to reform him and open his heart.
(ii) Seek the help of some of your father's friends
or relatives whom you trust to try to change him.
(iii) Give him some books or tapes in your language
that will encourage him to have a good attitude and warn
him against the opposite, and give them as a gift using a
good approach when you do so. Allaah may make this a
cause of his reforming.
We ask Allaah to help you to do that which He loves
and which pleases Him.
And Allaah knows best.
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40496: Ruling on marrying a women when she is menstruating
Question:
Is it permissible to enter into the marriage contract with
a woman when she has her monthly period?.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
The basic principle concerning that is that it is
permissible. There is nothing to suggest that it is not allowed in
the Qur'aan [Qur'an, Quran], Sunnah, scholarly consensus, words of
the Sahaabah or correct analogy. I do not know of any
scholar who regarded that as haraam or makrooh. But some
of the fuqaha' regarded it as makrooh for a woman to
have the wedding party if she is menstruating, lest her
husband have intercourse with her at that time and thus fall
into sin.
The common folk confuse the ruling on this matter
with the ruling on divorcing a woman when she is menstruating; there is nothing in common between
the two.
It is permissible to marry a woman when she is menstruating, according to consensus, and it is haraam
to divorce a menstruating woman with whom one has
had intercourse, according to consensus.
Shaykh Sulaymaan ibn Naasir al-`Alwaan
(www.islam-qa.com)
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22737: Announcing marriages
Question:
In reading a Q/A about marriage, the part of the
answer stated to `announce marriages.'What is the reason
behind this statement?.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
Announcing marriages is obligatory and the reason
for that is:
1 _ The Sunnah enjoins this, because the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
"Announce this marriage."
Narrated by Ahmad and classed as hasan by
al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami', 1072.
2 _ So as to distinguish the valid shar'i marriage that
is enjoined by Islam from immorality, because zina is
done secretly, whereas legitimate marriage is that which
is proclaimed openly, so as to distinguish the one from
the other. This is the wisdom behind announcing marriages.
Dr. Khaalid ibn `Ali al-Mushayqih (www.islam-qa.com)
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5333: Paying the girl's dowry with her brother's money
Question:
Suppose if a parents have Son and Daughter and
after long search they found a husband for their daughters
but bridegroom is requesting for a dowry but the parents
are not affordable to pay them, so they try to get dowry
for their son in order to pay for their daughter. Certainly
they are not going to use this money except to give dowry
for their daughter marriage.
I like to through some lights and give us proper
guidence to handle this situation.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
It is very strange indeed that in some countries the
dowry is paid by the bride or her family to the groom or
his family. This is contrary to the Islamic principle,
because the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) commanded a man who was getting married to
give a dowry even if it was an iron ring, and when he did
not even have that, he made the dowry that he would
teach her what he had memorized of the Qur'aan [Qur'an, Quran].
What is important is that in the marriage
contract something should be mentioned as the dowry, even if it
is little.
It was narrated that Sahl ibn Sa'd said: A woman came
to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) and said: "I give myself to you
(in marriage)." He paused for a while, then a man said,
"Marry her to me, if you have no need of her." He said, "Do
you have anything you can give to her as a dowry?" He
said, "I do not have anything but my izaar (lower
garment)." He said, "If you give that to her, you will not have
any lower garment. Think of something." He said, "I
cannot think of anything." He said, "Think of something, even
if it is an iron ring." But he did not have anything.
(The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him)) said, "Have you memorized anything of the
Qur'aan [Qur'an, Quran]?" He said, "Yes, Soorah such and such, and Soorah
such and such" _ and he named the soorahs. He said: "We
marry her to you on the basis of what you have memorized
of the Qur'aan [Qur'an, Quran] [i.e., that you teach it to her]."
(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4842; Muslim, 1425)
This hadeeth indicates that the Messenger (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did not agree to
the man marrying without a dowry to give to the woman;
he did not ask the woman for anything.
Moreover, the concept of qawaamah (being
maintainers and protectors of women) that Allaah has enjoined
on men implies that the man is the one who gives the
mahr to the woman, because he is her supporter and she is
his dependent.
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"Men are the protectors and maintainers of
women, because Allaah has made one of them to excel the
other, and because they spend (to support them) from
their means"
[al-Nisa' 4:34]
Moreover, the mahr is the woman's right, because
the man enjoys intimate relations with her, and the mahr
is paid in return for that intimacy.
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"…so with those of whom you have enjoyed
sexual relations, give them their Mahr as prescribed…"
[al-Nisa' 4:24]
Imam Ibn Katheer (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
The phrase "so with those of whom you have
enjoyed sexual relations, give them their Mahr as
prescribed" means, as you are going to enjoy intimacy with
them, then give them their dowries in return for that, as
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"And how could you take it (back) while you have
gone in unto each other"
[al-Nisa' 4:21]
"And give to the women (whom you marry) their
Mahr (obligatory bridal-money given by the husband to his
wife at the time of marriage) with a good heart"
[al-Nisa' 4:4]
"And it is not lawful for you (men) to take back
(from your wives) any of your Mahr (bridal-money given
by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage)
which you have given them"
[al-Baqarah 2:229]
Tafseer Ibn Katheer, 1/475
It was narrated from `Aa'ishah that the Messenger
of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
said: "Any woman who gets married without the
permission of her guardian, her marriage is invalid, her marriage
is invalid, her marriage is invalid. If the marriage has
been consummated then the mahr is hers, because she
has permitted (the man) to be intimate with her. If
(the guardian) refuses to arrange her marriage, then the
ruler is the guardian of the one who has no guardian."
Abu `Eesa al-Tirmidhi said: this is a hasan hadeeth.
From this we can see that the dowry is to be paid by
the man to the woman, not by the woman to the man.
Shaykh `Abd-Allaah ibn Qa'ood said: "The mahr is
the right of the wife, and it must be defined. The wife or
her family do not have to pay anything unless they do
so voluntarily."
Based on this, it is not permissible for you to take
from your son's money and give it as a dowry for your
daughter. Shaykh al-Barraak said:
"If it is not permissible for the son to take the dowry
in the first place, it is not permissible to take it for
the daughter."
If you fear Allaah, Allaah will grant a way out for
your daughter. So she has to be patient and seek reward,
and turn to Allaah and make du'aa'. If a person thinks of
Allaah in positive terms, he will find that Allaah is as he thinks.
The scholars, prominent figures and the ordinary
people in your country have to strive to change this bad
custom and follow the Sunnah, and to do the right thing and
follow the right way which no one is permitted to go
against. That is by establishing proof to the people from
the Qur'aan [Qur'an, Quran] and Sunnah and the words of the scholars.
And Allaah knows best.
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26069: Marrying a second wife when one is not able to
take care of two wives
Question:
One man (muslim of course) much older than me
(20 years)proposed me the merriage but he is not
divorced with his first women. He helped me many times in
my life and showed me the first steps towards Islam. My
father and mother are mulims but they didn't learn me
something about praying, fasting or zekat.
That brother is going to have two womens but he is
not able to take care about both of them. I asked my
cemaat about this problem and some people gave the
positive answer some of them don't accept it. I feel respect
for that brother but I am not sure that I can live with
him. Could you give me the advice, please?.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
Allaah has enjoined certain things on a man who
wants to marry more than one wife, which he must fulfil
before he marries a second wife. One of these things is that
he should be able treat them both fairly with regard
to spending, staying overnight and providing accommodation. If he knows that he is unable to do
that or that it is most likely that he cannot do so, it is
not permissible for him to marry more than one wife.
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"And if you fear that you shall not be able to deal
justly with the orphan girls then marry (other) women of
your choice, two or three, or four; but if you fear that
you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only
one or (slaves) that your right hands possess. That is
nearer to prevent you from doing injustice"
[al-Nisa' 4:3]
Mujaahid said: do not deliberately try to mistreat any
of them, rather adhere to equal treatment with regard
to dividing your time and spending, because this
is something that a man can do.
Tafseer al-Qurtubi, 5/407
Shaykh al-Islam [Ibn Taymiyah] (may Allaah have
mercy on him) said: As for fairness with regard to spending
and clothing, this is the Sunnah, following the example of
the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him).
He treated his wives equally with regard to spending just
as he did with regard to dividing his time amongst them.
Majmoo' al-Fataawa, 32/269
Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
[The Prophet] (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) used to treat them equally with regard to spending
the night with them, providing accommodation and
spending on them… but it is not obligatory to treat them
equally with regard to that _ i.e., love and intercourse _
because that is something that a man has no control over.
Zaad al-Ma'aad, 1/151
Al-Haafiz ibn Hajar said: If he provides each one of
them with sufficient clothing, maintenance and accommodation, it does not matter what he does
after that of being more inclined towards one of them or
giving gifts to them…
Al-Fath, 9/391
This is what Allaah has enjoined upon the one who
wants to marry more than one wife. If a man is able to do
that, there is nothing wrong with agreeing to marry him. If
he is not, then we do not advise marrying him, rather it
is not permissible for him to propose marriage in the
first place.
With regard to your saying that he is not able to take
care of two wives, if he is religiously-committed and of
good character, and you can be patient and put up with
some hardships in life, then there is nothing wrong with
your agreeing to marry him. Allaah has promised the poor
man who wants to get married that He will make him independent of means. Allaah says (interpretation of
the meaning):
"If they be poor, Allaah will enrich them out of
His Bounty"
[al-Noor 24:32]
Some of the salaf used to get married seeking
provision, acting in accordance with this verse. But if you think
that you will not be able to put up with some hardships in
life, then there is nothing wrong with your refusing to
marry him. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) advised Faatimah bint Qays, when Mu'aawiyah
(may Allaah be pleased with him) proposed to her, not to
marry him. He said, "He is a pauper and has no
money." (Narrated by Muslim, 1480).
We hope that there will be no unlawful
relationship between you, either now or after you refuse to marry
him. If he has done you some favour by showing you the
right path and teaching you, that is no justification for
meeting, corresponding, speaking in private and so on.
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7989: He married a woman without a guardian
Question:
I am in a foreign land and married a Christian girl who
is also a foreigner in that country. Both of us do not
have any relatives or friends or contacts in that country.
I proposed to her and she accepted so I read the
marriage statements and she accepted and than I read the
marriage statement for my acceptance. I forgot the Mehr
in statement but later paid some amount to her. There
was no guardian for her as she is adult and independent
and we could not arrange any witness. Question is:
1. Whether this is a valid religious marriage and is it
not sin in Islam as we do not care for the social or legal
aspect because we are foreigners. In other word we
married keeping in view our God and do not want to be
punished by God on day of judgment. (We lived like man &
wife for some days).
2. As I was not sure about religious aspect of this
marriage, we mutually decided that I should divorce her, and I
did. Is it OK?
3. Do I need to marry her again if our marriage was
not OK, in front of witnesses and any Guardian / Wali
to relieve myself of any sin.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
It is not permissible for a man to marry a woman
without the permission of her guardian, whether she is a virgin
or previously-married. This is the view of the majority
of scholars, including al-Shaafa'i, Maalik and Ahmad.
This is based on evidence which includes the following:
The verses in which Allaah says (interpretation of
the meaning):
"do not prevent them from marrying their
(former) husbands"
[al-Baqarah 2:232]
"And do not marry Al-Mushrikaat (idolatresses) till
they believe (worship Allaah Alone)"
[al-Baqarah 2:221]
"and marry those among you who are single"
[al-Noor 24:32]
The point here is that these verses clearly stipulate
that there be a guardian in marriage, because Allaah
is addressing the guardian with regard to the marriage
of the woman under his care. If the matter were up to
her and not him, there would be no need to address him.
It is indicative of Imam al-Bukhaari's deep
understanding of issues of sharee'ah that he quoted these verses in
a chapter which he entitled "Baab man qaala la
nikaaha illa bi wali (Chapter on those who say that there is
no marriage without a guardian)."
It was narrated that Abu Moosa said: The Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "There is
no marriage without a guardian."
(Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1101; Abu Dawood, 2085;
Ibn Maajah, 1881. Classed as saheeh by Shaykh
al-Albaani (may Allaah have mercy on him) in Saheeh
al-Tirmidhi, 1/318)
It was narrated that `Aa'ishah (may Allaah be
pleased with her) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: Any woman
who gets married without the permission of her guardian,
her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid, her
marriage is invalid. But if the marriage is consummated then
the mahr is hers because she has allowed him to be
intimate with her. If they dispute, then the ruler is the guardian
of the one who has no guardian."
(Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1102; Abu Dawood, 2083;
Ibn Maajah, 1879. Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in
Irwa' al-Ghaleel, 1840)
Secondly: If her guardian prevents her from marrying
the person she wants for no valid reason according
to sharee'ah, then the role of guardian passes to the
next closest relative, so it passes from the father to
the grandfather, for example.
Thirdly: if all of her guardians prevent her from
getting married for no valid reason according to sharee'ah,
then the ruler is her guardian, because of the hadeeth
quoted above ("…If they dispute, then the ruler is the
guardian of the one who has no guardian")
Fourthly: if there is no guardian and no ruler, then
her marriage is to be arranged by a man who has authority
in the place where she is, such as the head of a village,
or the governor of a province, and so on. If there is no
such person, then she should appoint a trustworthy
Muslim man to arrange her marriage.
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have
mercy on him) said:
If there is no relative who can act as her guardian,
then the position of guardian passes to the one who is most
fit among those who have any kind of authority in
matters other than marriage, such as the head of a village,
the leader of a caravan, and so on.
Al-Ikhtiyaaraat, p. 350.
Ibn Qudaamah said: If a woman does not have a
guardian and there is no ruler, then there was narrated from
Ahmad that which indicates that her marriage should be
arranged by a man of sound character, with her permission.
Al-Mughni, 9/362.
Shaykh `Umar al-Ashqar said:
If there is no ruler of the Muslims, or if the woman is in
a place where the Muslims have no ruler, and she has
no guardian at all, like the Muslims in America
and elsewhere, if there are Islamic institutions in that
country that take care of the Muslims' affairs, then they
should arrange her marriage. The same applies if the
Muslims have a leader who is in charge or someone who
is responsible for their affairs.
Al-Waadih fi Sharh Qanoon al-Ahwaal
al-Shakhsiyyah al-Urduni, p. 70
The marriage contract must be witnessed by two
adult male Muslims of sound mind. See question no.
2127.
Hence you have to repeat your marriage contract, and
it is essential that the woman's guardian be present, as
stated above, as well as two witnesses.
And Allaah knows best.
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6402: A kaafir married a Muslim woman then he
became Muslim
Question:
A hindu married a muslim widow. After some
years, attracted by the islamic manners of his wife, has
converted himself to islam. Do they have to their remake the
Nikah, or the one they made earlier when he was a hindu and
she a muslim is sufficient?
Muslims in india are reciting Salawat un Naria 4444
times to get rewards and to avoid calamities. Eventhough
we explained that it is enough to do Salawaat to
Muhammed (PBUH) as he prescribed and not to recite Salawaat
un Naria, they continue reciting, saying there is no harm
in it. Is it permissible to recite and also please explain
in detail if there is any shirk associated in the meaning
of Salawaat un naria.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
The marriage of a Muslim woman to a kaafir, no
matter what his religion, is invalid according to sharee'ah
and their intimacy is tantamount to fornication. They must
be separated, because Allaah says (interpretation of
the meaning):
"And do not marry Al-Mushrikaat (idolatresses) till
they believe (worship Allaah Alone). And indeed a
slave woman who believes is better than a (free)
Mushrikah (idolatress), even though she pleases you. And give
not (your daughters) in marriage to AlMushrikoon till
they believe (in Allaah Alone) and verily, a believing slave
is better than a (free) Mushrik (idolater), even though
he pleases you. Those (Al-Mushrikoon) invite you to the
Fire, but Allaah invites (you) to Paradise and forgiveness
by His Leave"
[al-Baqarah 2:221]
And Allaah says, stating that the Muslim women are
not permissible in marriage for kaafir men (interpretation
of the meaning):
"They are not lawful (wives) for the disbelievers nor
are the disbelievers lawful (husbands) for them"
[al-Mumtahanah 60:10]
Al-Qurtubi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in
his book al-Jaami' li Ahkaam al-Qur'aan [Qur'an, Quran] (3/72): The
ummah is unanimously agreed that a kaafir man cannot marry
a Muslim woman at all because that undermines the
position of Islam.
But if the man becomes a Muslim _ as mentioned in
the question _ then he must re-marry the woman with a
new marriage contract, because the first marriage contract
was invalid and does not count for anything in sharee'ah.
Shaykh `Atiyah Muhammad Saalim said in his
completion of the book Adwa' al-Bayaan, 8/164-165:
Why is it permissible for a Muslim man to marry a
kaafir woman from among the People of the Book (i.e.,
Jews and Christians), but it is not permissible for a
Muslim woman to marry a kaafir man from among the People
of the Book?
This question may be answered from two angles:
1 _ That Islam should prevail and not be prevailed
over. The role of maintainer and protector in marriage
belongs exclusively to the husband, so the man may influence
his wife and she may not be able to practice her religion
as she should, and she may leave her religion
altogether. Similarly the children will follow the religion of
their father.
2 _ Islam is comprehensive and other religions are
limited, on which there is based a social matter that affects
family life and the relationship between the spouses. This
means is that if a Muslim man marries a Jewish or
Christian woman, he believes in her Book and her Prophet, so
he will deal with her on a basis of respect for her
religion because he believes in it in general terms, and that
will give them some common ground which may lead to
her becoming Muslim as her own Book tells her. But if
a Jewish or Christian man marries a Muslim woman,
he does not believe in her religion so he will not have
any respect towards her religion or her principles. There
is no room for common ground with him with regard
to something that he does not believe in at all. So there is
no room for harmony or mutual understanding; there is
no goodness in such a marriage, so it is forbidden in the
first place.
So they must make a new marriage contract.
And Allaah knows best.
With regard to the question about al-Salaah
al-Naariyyah, please see question no. 7505.
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21380: Ruling on a Muslim man marrying a
non-Muslim woman and vice versa
Question:
I have some questions about Islam, could you
explain them for me? Is it permissible for someone who
follows Islam to marry someone who does not follows
Islam without that person converting to Islam after marriage?.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
It is permissible for a Muslim man to marry a
non-Muslim woman if she is Christian or Jewish, but it is
not permissible for him to marry a non-Muslim woman
who follows any religion other than these two. The
evidence for that is the verse in which Allaah says
(interpretation of the meaning):
"Made lawful to you this day are AtTayyibaat [all
kinds of Halaal (lawful) foods, which Allaah has made
lawful (meat of slaughtered eatable animals, milk products,
fats, vegetables and fruits)]. The food (slaughtered
cattle, eatable animals) of the people of the Scripture (Jews
and Christians) is lawful to you and yours is lawful to
them. (Lawful to you in marriage) are chaste women from
the believers and chaste women from those who were
given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) before your time
when you have given their due Mahr (bridal-money given
by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage),
desiring chastity (i.e. taking them in legal wedlock) not
committing illegal sexual intercourse, nor taking them as
girlfriends" [al-Maa'idah 5:4]
Imam al-Tabari said in his commentary on this verse:
"chaste women from the believers and chaste women
from those who were given the Scripture" means, free
woman among those whom have been given the Scripture,
namely the Jews and Christians who believe in what is in
the Tawraat (Torah) and Injeel (Gospel) from among
the people who came before you, O believers in
Muhammad, whether from among the Arabs or other people; you
are permitted to marry them "when you have given their
due Mahr (bridal-money given by the husband to his wife
at the time of marriage)" which means, if you give to
those whom you marry of your (Muslims') chaste women
and their (Jews' and Christians') chaste women their
mahrs or dowries."
(Tafseer al-Qurtubi, 6/104)
But it is not permissible for a Muslim man to marry
a Magian (Zoroastrian) woman or a communist woman
or an idol-worshipping woman, etc.
The evidence for that is the verse in which Allaah
says (interpretation of the meaning):
"And do not marry Al-Mushrikaat (idolatresses) till
they believe (worship Allaah Alone). And indeed a
slave woman who believes is better than a (free)
Mushrikah (idolatress), even though she pleases you"
[al-Baqarah 2:221]
A mushrikah is an idol-worshipping woman who
worships stones, whether from among the Arabs or others.
It is not permissible for a Muslim woman to marry a
non-Muslim from any other religion, whether from among
the Jews or Christians, or any other kaafir religion. It is
not permissible for her to marry a Jew, a Christian, a
Magian, a communist, an idol-worshipper, etc.
The evidence for that is the verse in which Allaah
says (interpretation of the meaning):
"And give not (your daughters) in marriage
to AlMushrikoon till they believe (in Allaah Alone)
and verily, a believing slave is better than a (free)
Mushrik (idolater), even though he pleases you. Those
(Al-Mushrikoon) invite you to the Fire, but Allaah invites
(you) to Paradise and forgiveness by His Leave, and
makes His Ayaat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons,
signs, revelations, etc.) clear to mankind that they
may remember" [al-Baqarah 2:221]
Imam al-Tabari said:
What is said concerning the interpretation of the
words "And give not (your daughters) in marriage
to AlMushrikoon till they believe (in Allaah Alone)
and verily, a believing slave is better than a (free)
Mushrik (idolater), even though he pleases you" is that what
Allaah meant by that is that Allaah has forbidden the
believing women to give birth to a mushrik, no matter what kind
of shirk he believes in. So, O believers, do not give
your daughters in marriage to them, for that is forbidden
to you. For you to give them in marriage to a believing
slave who believes in Allaah and His Messenger and that
which he brought from Allaah is better for you than to give
them in marriage to a free mushrik even if he is of noble
descent and honourable origins, even if you like his descent
and background…
It was narrated that Qutaadah and al-Zuhri
said, concerning the phrase "And give not (your daughters)
in marriage to AlMushrikoon", It is not permissible for
you to give them in marriage to a Jew or a Christian or
a mushrik who is not a follower of your religion.
(Tafseer al-Qurtubi, 2/379).
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30796: Should he get married without his
father's approval?
Question:
Is it permissible for a man to get married to a
woman whose religious commitment and character he
admires, even though his parents do not approve?.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
A son is not doing wrong if he chooses a woman who
is religiously committed and of good character, for this
is the advice of the Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) with regard to marriage. It was
narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with
him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) said: "A woman may be married for four things:
her wealth, her lineage, her beauty or her
religious commitment. Choose the one who is
religiously committed, may your hands be rubbed with dust [i.e.,
may you prosper]!" (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4802;
Muslim, 1466)
There follows some advice for you and your father
from Shaykh Ibn `Uthaymeen, that has to do with your situation.
The Shaykh (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
The question leads us to offer you two points of
advice. The first point is addressed to your father, if he insists
on not allowing you to marry this woman whom you
describe as being of good character and
religiously-committed. What he should do is to give you permission to
marry her, unless he has a legitimate shar'i reason that he
knows and can explain to you so that you will be convinced
and your mind will be put at rest. He should weigh up
this matter himself: if his father had refused to let him
marry a woman whose religious commitment and character
he admired, would he not have thought that this was
wrong and a suppression of his freedom? If he would not
like his father to do this to him, then how can he let
himself do the same to his son? The Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "None of you truly
believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself."
It is not permissible for your father to prevent
you marrying this woman for no legitimate shar'i reason.
If there is a legitimate shar'i reason then he should
explain it to you so that you will understand.
With regard to the advice which we give you, we say
that if you can forget about this woman and marry
another, thus pleasing your father and avoiding a split
(between you and your father), then do that.
If you cannot do that, because you are
emotionally attached to her and you are also afraid that if you
propose marriage to another woman that your father may
also prevent you from marrying her _ because some
people may have envy or jealousy in their hearts even
towards their children, so they do not let them have what
they want _ I say that if this is the case and you cannot
be patient and forget about this woman to whom you
feel emotionally attached, then there is no sin on you if
you marry her, even if your father objects. Perhaps after
you get married he will become convinced and the feelings
in his heart will go away. We ask Allaah to enable you to
do that which is in the interests of both.
Fataawa Islamiyyah, 4/193-194. And Allaah knows
best. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com)
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22442: On acting; and the ruling on marrying young girls
Question:
1)What is the ruling of islam acting in movies?.If it
is allowed what type of filims must be them?.Also what
is the role of women in movies ?.
2)Why islam allowed to marry children(girls) of age
below 10 with out their permission(it is said that in the case
of children,it requires the concern of their parents only.I
also know it requires to get the permission in the case
of adults).Actually marrage has to taken plce between
the persons, who have even a little meturity.But in the
case of children it not happend.Can you justify this ruling
of islam(Child marrage ) ?.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
The question of acting and related issues has already
been dealt with in Question no. 10836. We may add to that:
Shaykh Abu Bakr Zayd (may Allaah preserve him)
said: chivalry [i.e., behaving in a proper and decent manner]
is one of the aims of sharee'ah, and anything that
undermines that renders a person unfit to give testimony in court.
Islam enjoins the loftiest characteristics and forbids base
and vile characteristics. How often do viewers see an
actor doing silly actions or moving or speaking in a silly
manner, or even playing the role of a madman, idiot or fool.
Based on this, it is clear to the wise man that acting is one of
the things that most undermine chivalry, so it is one of
the things that render a person unfit to give testimony in
court. Anything that is like that is not approved of in sharee'ah.
See al-Muru'ah wa Khawaarimuhaa, p. 221,
by Mashhoor Hasan
Secondly:
Marrying a young girl before she reaches the age
of adolescence is permitted in sharee'ah; indeed it
was narrated that there was scholarly consensus on this point.
(a) Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"And those of your women as have passed the age
of monthly courses, for them the `Iddah (prescribed
period), if you have doubt (about their periods), is three
months; and for those who have no courses [(i.e. they are
still immature) their `Iddah (prescribed period) is three
months likewise"
[al-Talaaq 65:4]
In this verse we see that Allaah has made the `iddah
in the case of divorce of a girl who does not have periods
_ because she is young and has not yet reached puberty
_ three months. This clearly indicates that Allaah has
made this a valid marriage.
(b) It was narrated from `Aa'ishah (may Allaah be
pleased with her) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) married her when she was six years old,
he consummated the marriage with her when she was
nine and she stayed with him for nine years.
(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4840; Muslim, 1422)
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) married `Aa'ishah when she was six years old
and consummated the marriage when she was nine."
(Narrated by al-Bukhaari and Muslim; Muslim
says `seven years')
The fact that it is permissible to marry a young girl
does not mean that it is permissible to have intercourse
with her; rather that should not be done until she is able for
it. For that reason the Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) delayed the consummation of his
marriage to `Aa'ishah. Al-Nawawi said: With regard to
the wedding-party of a young married girl at the time
of consummating the marriage, if the husband and
the guardian of the girl agree upon something that will
not cause harm to the young girl, then that may be done.
If they disagree, then Ahmad and Abu `Ubayd say that
one a girl reaches the age of nine then the marriage may
be consummated even without her consent, but that does
not apply in the case of who is younger. Maalik,
al-Shaafa'i and Abu Haneefah said: the marriage may
be consummated when the girl is able for intercourse,
which varies from one girl to another, so no age limit can be
set. This is the correct view. There is nothing in the
hadeeth of `Aa'ishah to set an age limit, or to forbid that in
the case of a girl who is able for it before the age of nine,
or to allow it in the case of a girl who is not able for it
and has reached the age of nine. Al-Dawoodi said:
`Aa'ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) was reached
physical maturity (at the time when her marriage
was consummated).
Sharh Muslim, 9/206
It is preferable for a guardian not to marry off his
daughter when she is still young unless there is a valid reason
for that.
Al-Nawawi said:
It should be noted that al-Shaafa'i and his
companions said: It is preferable for fathers and grandfathers not
to marry off a virgin until she reaches the age of
puberty and they ask her permission, lest she end up in a
marriage that she dislikes. What they said does not go against
the hadeeth of `Aa'ishah, because what they meant is
that they should not marry her off before she reaches
puberty if there is no obvious interest to be served that they
fear will be missed out on if they delay it, as in the hadeeth
of `Aa'ishah. In that case it is preferable to go ahead
with the marriage because the father is enjoined to take care
of his child's interests and not to let a good opportunity
slip away.
And Allaah knows best.
Sharh Muslim, 9/206.
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13780: Marriage of a convert: must he marry someone
of the same race?
Question:
I would like to ask for your advice, I am a br. who
prays believes in allah prays 5 times a day, fasts in ramadan
and converted to islam over 5 years ago. I am looking
to get married, however on meeting the sr. that I like, I
am finding out that since her family is from another
Race and because of this they will not accept me as her husband.
She is a practising muslimah from an Indian/asian/pakistani/bengali type of background, and it is typical
of people of these background never to let their
children (especially girls) to marry outside their own cultures
even if the one proposing is a practising muslim man.
Hence the mariage cannot take place on this basis
alone. Since the majority of practising muslims in this
country are from the indian subcontinent background,I have
two questions
1- how does a relative new-comer such as my self
get married?
2- Should reverts only marry reverts? Is there any
basis for such cultural separation in islam? .
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
With regard to the first question, and the second, as
soon as you entered Islam you became one of the
Muslims, with the same rights and duties as they have. Based
on that, then you may strive to guard your chastity
by marrying any good and righteous woman, based on
the words of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah
be upon him) [regarding looking for a wife], "Look for
the one who is religiously-committed, may your hands
be rubbed with dust (i.e., may you prosper)!"
Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5090; Muslim, 1466) _
whether she is also new in Islam (i.e., a convert) or not.
What matters is that she should be righteous, as I mentioned.
Then if you propose marriage to a righteous woman,
and she or her family do not agree, then you must be
patient and continue looking, whilst also continuing to pray
that Allaah will make it easy for you to find a righteous
woman who can help you to obey your Lord.
Secondly, with regard to the discrimination that
you mention, Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"O mankind! We have created you from a male and
a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that
you may know one another. Verily, the most honourable
of you with Allaah is that (believer) who has AtTaqwa
[i.e. he is one of the Muttaqoon (the
pious]" [al-Hujuraat 49:13]
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) said: "O you who believe, verily your Lord is One,
and your father [Adam] is one. There is no superiority of
an Arab over a non-Arab or of a non-Arab over an Arab,
or of a red man over a black man or of a black man over
a red man, except in terms of taqwa (piety). Have I
conveyed (the message)?" They said: "The Messenger of
Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) has
conveyed (the message)."
(Narrated by Ahmad, 5/411; classed as saheeh by
al-Albaani in Ghaayat al-Maraam, 313; it was also
narrated from Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah that its isnaad
is saheeh, in al-Iqtidaa', 69).
According to another hadeeth, the Prophet (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "Those who
boast about their forefathers should desist or they will be
less significant before Allaah than the beetle that rolls up
the dung with its nose. Allaah has taken away from you
the arrogance of Jaahiliyyah and its pride in forefathers, so
a person is either a pious believer or a doomed
evildoer. All the people are the children of Adam and Adam
was created from dust." (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi,
3890; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh Sunan
al-Tirmidhi, no. 3100; and in Ghaayat
al-Maraam, 312, it was said that al-Tirmidhi and Shaykh al-Islam
Ibn Taymiyah classed it as saheeh).
The dung beetle is a black bug that rolls up excrement.
Hence it should become clear to you that Islam does
not discriminate between one Muslim and another by
any earthly standards, whether that be colour, lineage,
wealth or country. Rather the only criterion by which people
are regarded as superior to others before Allaah is
taqwa (piety, consciousness of Allaah). Indeed, the
sharee'ah commands the guardian of a woman, if a person
comes to propose marriage who is religiously-committed and
of good character and attitude, to hasten to arrange
the marriage, and to beware of rejecting him and not
accepting him, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah
be upon him) said: "If there comes to you one with
whose religious commitment and character you are pleased,
then marry your daughter [or female relative under your
care] to him, for if you do not do that then there will be
much tribulation and mischief in the land." They said,
"O Messenger of Allaah, what if there is some
other objection?" He said, "If there comes to you one
with whose religious commitment and character you
are pleased, then marry your daughter [or female
relative under your care] to him," three times.
Narrated by al-Tirmidhi; classed as hasan by
al-Albaani in Saheeh Sunan al-Tirmidhi, 866
See the answer to question no. 13993.
We ask Allaah to make it easy for you to marry a
woman who will help you to obey your Lord. And Allaah
knows best. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com)
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20227: Wants to marry Christian woman
Question:
I like one girl, and we are gonna get WED in future.
My parents are fully agreed with my decision, so her
parents. Everything is going alright. The problem I am
encounted with is, "She is Christian." While discussing with
each others, I have asked her to Embrace ISLAM, And I
have been given many information regarding islam so she
can understand each and everything, It seems she doesnt
want to EMBRACE islam. As she said " I am very very
strong christian, I just cannot accept any faith than christianity,
I cannot become muslim. She doesnt eat pork, nor,
does she drinks, She is a Chaste lady with her true
feelings and a Clean heart. This is true that she has nothing
against my faith. She is agree to accept me with my faith and
she wants me accept her with her faith, and the children
would be MUSLIMS. This is what we have decided so far.
Some of my friend adviced me to FORCE her to
EMBRACE ISLAM, Like threaten "I won't marry you if you
dont Embrace islam" This is what my friend adviced me,
But as far as I realize, This wouldnt be fair at all. please
Tellme Should i force her to become muslim? I guess, to
embrace islam she must have the feelings that ALLAH is one
and she should have the real feelings instead of fake
feelings. I dont want to force her cause I scare, that IF she
becomes muslim JUST to show me, JUST to get married with
me, Its gonna be SIN on me. I want she to become
muslim from her true feelings and real feelings with that
ALLAH is one and he is the god. I am trying my best to
provide her knowledge of islam and to showing her the right
path. Please tellme Should i force her?
IF she refuses to embrace Islam, Can i marry her? Can
I and her get married and lives as husband and wife?.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
Allaah has permitted us to marry Jewish and
Christian woman, on condition that they are chaste and avoid
zina (unlawful sexual relations), and that the wali
(guardian) of that Christian woman is a Muslim.
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"Made lawful to you this day are AtTayyibaat [all
kinds of Halaal (lawful) foods, which Allaah has made
lawful (meat of slaughtered eatable animals, milk products,
fats, vegetables and fruits)]. The food (slaughtered
cattle, eatable animals) of the people of the Scripture (Jews
and Christians) is lawful to you and yours is lawful to
them. (Lawful to you in marriage) are chaste women from
the believers and chaste women from those who were
given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) before your time
when you have given their due Mahr (bridal-money given
by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage),
desiring chastity (i.e. taking them in legal wedlock) not
committing illegal sexual intercourse, nor taking them as
girlfriends. And whosoever disbelieves in Faith, [i.e. in the
Oneness of Allaah and in all the other Articles of Faith i.e.
His (Allaah's) Angels, His Holy Books, His Messengers,
the Day of Resurrection and AlQadar (Divine Preordainments)], then fruitless is his work; and in
the Hereafter he will be among the
losers" [al-Maa'idah 5:5]
What is meant by chaste is refraining from zina
(unlawful sexual relationships).
Ibn Katheer said:
This is the view of the majority, which the most
correct opinion, so as to avoid the combination of her being
a non-Muslim with her being unchaste, which would
mean that she is totally corrupt and thus her husband will
get, as the Arabic proverb says, "Bad goods and cheated
on the weight." The apparent meaning of the aayah is
that what is meant is those who are chaste and refrain
from zina. Tafseer Ibn Katheer, 3/55
The condition of the woman's wali being a Muslim
is indicated by the verse (interpretation of the meaning):
"And never will Allaah grant to the disbelievers a
way (to triumph) over the believers"
[al-Nisa' 4:141]
However, we do not advise you to marry a
non-Muslim woman, nor do we advise you to marry just any
Muslim woman. For married life is not based only on beauty
and attraction, rather the wise Muslim must look with
insight at what is beyond that, because he needs to be sure
that his house will be looked after in his absence, and he
needs to bring up his children, and he will not be able to
find that or other things which every wise husband
seeks, except with a religious Muslim woman. This is the
advice of our Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him).
It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "A
woman may be married for four reasons: her wealth, her
lineage, her beauty and her religious commitment. Choose the
one who is religious, may your hands be rubbed with
dust [i.e., may you prosper]."
(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4802; Muslim, 1466).
Al-Nawawi said:
The correct meaning of this hadeeth is that the
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
was describing what people usually do, for they seek
these four characteristics, the last of which in their view
is religious commitment, but you, the one who is
seeking guidance, should look for a wife who is religious.
But this is not an absolute command.
This hadeeth encourages keeping company with
people who are religiously committed in all things, because
the one who keeps company with them will benefit from
their good attitude and morals, their blessing and their
good ways, and he will be safe from mischief at their hands.
Sharh Muslim, 10/52
But marriage to women of the People of the Book
leads to a great deal of mischief and trouble, such as:
1. He may have to be courteous to this wife of his at
the expense of his religion, especially if she is
"very committed" to her own religion. This may mean that
she will hang up crosses and go to the church, and the
children will not be safe in this environment.
2. She is not going to wash properly after finishing
her period, or tell him not to have intercourse with her
when she is menstruating; she is going to make him
do something that is wrong according to sharee'ah and
cause him physical harm.
3. He is going to be put in an embarrassing
situation because of her careless attitude concerning dress and
her mixing with men and speaking to them.
4. The states and governments of these women of the
Book will be on their side and will give them custody of
the children if differences arise and divorce takes place.
This will cause these children to be lost and to fall into
kufr. Such cases are too well known to need mentioning
here and too many to count.
One of the poets said:
"Marriage to a Christian is an abhorrent action which
leads to the kufr of the children for sure.
Whoever accepts for a child of his to be a kaafir is
himself a kaafir, even if he claims to be a Muslim.
A man may become a kaafir, following his wife, and
enter the Fire of Hell forever.
You must look for one who is religiously committed,
if you want a sound marriage.
Forget about the people of kufr and beware of
marrying them, for that will lead to a lot of evil.
The children of such a marriage will not be guided;
they will swell the ranks of evildoers.
Secondly:
It is not permissible for you to force your Christian
wife _ if you do marry her _ to become Muslim. Allaah
says (interpretation of the meaning):
"There is no compulsion in religion. Verily, the Right
Path has become distinct from the wrong path.
Whoever disbelieves in Taaghoot [falsehood, false gods]
and believes in Allaah, then he has grasped the
most trustworthy handhold that will never break. And
Allaah is All-Hearer, All-Knower"
[al-Baqarah 2:256]
Ibn Katheer said:
Allaah says: "There is no compulsion in
religion" meaning: do not force anyone to enter Islam, for it
is obvious and clear, and its proof and evidence are
apparent. There is no need to force anyone to enter it,
rather whomever Allaah guides to Islam and opens his heart
to it and illuminates his insight will enter it with
conviction; but whoever Allaah makes blind in his heart and seals
his hearing and insight will not benefit from being
compelled to enter the religion by force. They said that the
reason for the revelation of this verse was concerning
some people among the Ansaar, even though this ruling
is general.
Tasfeer Ibn Katheer, 1/311
We advise you _ once again _ to leave this woman and
to pray to Allaah to guide your heart to that which is in
the best interests of your religion. So long as you give her
up for the sake of Allaah, then you should be certain
that Allaah will replace her for you with someone better,
for whoever gives up something for the sake of Allaah,
Allaah will compensate him with something better. And
Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com)
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20213: She got married without her father's approval
Question:
My sister married a man who is muslim but she
married him against my Father's will. My Father is religios.
He rejected that man because he has bad manners so my
sister ran away and married without a Wali.
My question is : Is this Marraige Valid?
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
You father did well by not agreeing to (your
sister's) marriage to that man who has bad manners. Allaah
has put him in a position of trust with regard to his
daughters and anyone who is under his care, so he has to make
a good choice and find a husband who is suitable from
the point of view of sharee'ah.
Your sister has done a number of wrong things, such
as making a bad choice in choosing this man who has
bad manners; running away from her father's house; and
_ worst of all _ getting married without a wali (guardian).
One of these bad deeds would be enough to
understand the extent of the wrongs that she has done towards
her Lord, herself and her family, so how about if they
are combined?
With regard to the marriage, it is invalid, because
the wali's consent is one of the essential pillars of a
valid marriage. This is what is indicated by the texts of
the Qur'aan [Qur'an, Quran] and Sunnah:
1 _ Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"do not prevent them from marrying their
(former) husbands"
[al-Baqarah 2:232]
2 _ Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"And give not (your daughters) in marriage to
al-Mushrikoon (idolaters) till they believe (in Allaah Alone)"
[al-Baqarah 2:221]
3 _ Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"And marry those among you who are single (i.e. a
man who has no wife and the woman who has no husband)"
[al-Noor 24:32]
From these verses we may understand that the consent
of the wali is an essential condition for marriage,
because these verses are addressed to the wali concerning
the marriage of the women under his care. If the matter
was up to the woman, there would be no need to address
the wali, especially in the case of the first verse quoted,
as we shall explain below.
Part of the fiqh of Imam al-Bukhaari is that he
quoted these verses in a chapter which he called
Baab man qaala Laa nikaah illa bi wali (Chapter: the view of those
who say that there is no (valid) marriage without a wali)'.
With regard to the Sunnah:
1 _ It was narrated that Abu Moosa said: The
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
"There is no (valid) marriage without a wali."
(Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1101; Abu Dawood, 2085;
Ibn Maajah, 1881. Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in
Saheeh al-Tirmidhi, 1/318).
2 _ It was narrated that `Aa'ishah said: the Messenger
of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
said: "Any woman who gets married without the
permission of her wali, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is
invalid, her marriage is invalid. If the marriage has
been consummated then she is entitled to the mahr
because she allowed the man to be intimate with her. If she
does not have a wali then the ruler is the wali of one who
does not have a wali."
(Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1102; Abu Dawood, 2083;
Ibn Maajah, 1879. This hadeeth was classed as hasan by
al-Tirmidhi and as saheeh by Ibn Hibbaan (9/384) and
al-Haakim (2/183)).
So your sister has to repent and pray for forgiveness,
and she has to go back to her father and ask him to
forgive her. She should realize that her marriage is null and
void, and so it is not permissible for her to stay with this
man because he is not a legitimate husband for her. A
new contract should be done in the presence of her wali, if
he agrees to her staying with this man, after weighing up
the evil of his bad manners versus the evil of her
leaving him; or if he does not approve of her staying with
him, then the marriage contract is automatically annulled,
and this man should be obliged to divorce her so as to
avoid any doubts and so that the matter will be final.
She should agree to the person whom her father
chooses for her, and he has to look for someone person of
religious commitment and good manners who fears Allaah
who will take good care of his daughter.
And Allaah knows best.
Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com)
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13501: An invalid marriage contract must be done
again, even if ten years have passed
Question:
My question is that we know that a girl's marriage
without the consent of the guardian is invalid according to
the shareeah. Then there are a lot of cases where the
couple have eloped and got married. My question is, if
the marriage is invalid, how do these people make it
valid, lets say after 5 years of marriage or 10years of
marriage and they have children now.
My other question is that if a couple runs away and
gets married and then after certain period, lets say 2years
or 4years the parents then give consent or come to
acceptance of their marriage, then is the marriage valid.
How do some one make this marriage valid?
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah. If a woman gets married without
the consent of her wali (guardian), her marriage is
invalid and is not valid even if ten years have passed and even
if they have children. It is essential to repeat the
marriage contract after her guardian's approval is obtained,
because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) said: "There is no valid marriage without a wali and
two witnesses." (Narrated by Ahmad and the authors of
Sunan except al-Nasaa'i. See Saheeh
al-Jaami', 7558).
There is a stern warning against a woman who
arranges her own marriage. The Prophet (peace and blessings
of Allaah be upon him) said: "A woman should not
arrange another woman's marriage and a woman should
not arrange her own marriage, for the zaaniyah
(adulteress) is the one who arranges her own marriage." (Narrated
by Ibn Maajah, 1782; see also Saheeh
al-Jaami', 7298).
With regard to the second question, which has to do
with the approval of the wali; in this case it is essential to
repeat the marriage contract, because the first nikaah was
not valid. The couple must also repent sincerely to Allaah
for what they have done, and Allaah is Forgiving,
Most Merciful.
Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com)
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31119: She loves him and he treats her orphaned
daughter kindly, but their families refuse to let them marry
Question:
I have fallen deeply in love with a very good man, but
his family vehemently reject me. The first reason for
their rejection is that I was married before and I have a
daughter. The other reason is that I previously tricked them with
a big lie but now I am trying to make up for that lie, and
I pray that Allaah will forgive me and that they will
forgive me. Now, praise be to Allaah, I have started to adhere
to Islam more, and I have started to wear niqaab
and memorize Qur'aan [Qur'an, Quran], praise be to Allaah.
My question now is: is our marriage valid without
his family's agreement? Is his marriage to me considered
to be disobedience towards them? Even though we love
one another very much, and I acknowledge, praise be
to Allaah, that this person has changed me a lot and
made me more religious.
Is it permissible for me to get married without the
consent of a wali (guardian), because my father is insisting
that this man's family must agree to the marriage before
he gives his consent, otherwise he will refuse to allow
this marriage so long as this man's family refuse to agree
to it. Please note that my father ignores me and rarely
asks about me, and this man _ may Allaah reward him
with good _ is the one who is taking care of me and
my daughter, giving me love and security and taking the
place, for my daughter, of her dead father. He gives her the
love and care that her own family does not give her.
My daughter and I are in great need of his love and
care towards us. I hope that you can advise us. Thank you
very much.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
Your question, may Allaah bless you, raises a number
of issues, some of which are mentioned in the question
and some to which attention must be drawn.
One of the issues raised in the question is that you
ask about having your father's agreement. You have to
realize that sharee'ah stipulates that there must be a
wali (guardian) in order for the marriage contract to be
valid, because there is a great deal of evidence to that
effect, such as the hadeeth in which the Prophet (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "There is no
(valid) nikaah (marriage) without a wali (guardian)."
(Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1101; Abu Dawood, 2085; Ibn
Maajah, 1881. It is saheeh as stated in Irwa'
al-Ghaleel by al-Albaani, 6/235).
There is great wisdom in what Allaah has prescribed
by stipulating that there must be a wali. For example,
the basic principle is that men are more perfect in
reason, and have more understanding of where interests lie
and they have more insight into the circumstances of men
and what is suitable for a woman, and they are more able
to take decisions, especially since a woman may be overwhelmed and swayed by her emotions. If we
assume that there is some fault in the wali that make
him unqualified to take responsibility for the woman
under his guardianship, or he is preventing her from
getting married to a compatible man with no legitimate
shar'i reason, then guardianship passes to the next in line,
for example from the father to the grandfather. (For
more detailed information in this issue, please see
Question no. 7193).
With regard to his family's approval, this is not a
necessary condition for the marriage to be valid, because the man
is his own wali, so his marriage does not require
the agreement of his family. They have no right to
prevent him from marrying for no legitimate shar'i reason.
His concern about their approval, especially his parents, is
a good thing, and he may gain their approval by
treating his parents well and doing whatever he can to make
them agree to his choice, and seeking the help of Allaah in
that by making du'aa', debating with them in a polite
manner, and seeking to convince them in gentle ways.
We are happy to congratulate you for Allaah's blessing
in enabling you to wear correct Islamic hijaab and
to memorize His Holy Book. We ask Allaah to make us
and you among those who act in accordance with it.
We would like to draw your attention to what you
mention in your question about "falling deeply in love", "we
love one another very much", "he gives us love" and
"My daughter and I are in great need of his love and
care towards us". You have to realize that both Muslim
men and Muslim woman must protect themselves against
the things that may lead to forming an emotional
attachment to someone who is not a spouse, whilst accepting
that people may not be able to have full control over
their emotions. But there are many things that a person may
do that may lead to such attachments, and these are the
things which are forbidden. For example, chat between a
man and woman to converse, which may provoke these emotions and desires. Repeated visits are also
forbidden. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) said: "Beware of entering upon women." (Narrated
by al-Bukhaari, 4934; Muslim, 2172). These things
are forbidden in order to close the door to things that
may develop from them. The wisdom behind this is that
it prevents the formation of an emotional attachment to
a person whom it may not be easy to marry, which
would result in heartache for both parties, examples of
which are well known, both ancient and modern. This may
also distract the heart from things which are obligatory,
namely loving and obeying Allaah. Ibn al-Qayyim spoke of
the damage caused by such attachments in some of his
books, such as al-Daa' wa'l-Dawa', and Ighaathat
al-Lahfaan, which are worth reading. You can also refer to
Question no. 9465.
What we advise you to do, since Allaah has enabled
you to wear the hijaab, is to complete the hijaab of cloth
with the hijaab of the heart by taking an impartial look at
the relationship you have with him now, and keeping
away from everything that could make you form an
emotional attachment to him, such as speaking to him, letting
him visit you and your daughter, etc, which are haraam
or nearly haraam. He, since according to what you say he
is religious, should keep even further away from such
things, lest the Shaytaan intervene between the two of you.
With regard to his kindness towards your daughter,
we ask Allaah to reward him for that, but that should
not result in any haraam action, such as his entering
upon you when there is no one else apart from your
daughter with you, because her being with you does not cancel
out the fact that you are alone together in the haraam
way which the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) warned against when he said: "No man is alone
with a (non-mahram) woman but the Shaytaan is the third
one present." (Narrated by Ahmad and by al-Tirmidhi in
his Sunan, 2091; see also Saheeh
al-Jaami', 2546). See also Question no. 2986.
With regard to your hopes for marriage to him, we
advise you to do a number of things:
1. Pray istikhaarah a great deal until your Lord
chooses for you that which is in your best interests in this
world and in the Hereafter. To learn how to pray
istikhaarah, please see question no. 2217.
2. Avoid the things mentioned here that may create
an emotional attachment, because the most important
means of attaining what one wants is adhering to sharee'ah
and keeping within its limits.
3. Strive to reduce the intensity of love referred to in
the question by understanding the dangers involved, and
focus your heart on Allaah and on pondering the meanings
of His words with which Allaah has adorned your heart
by enabling you to memorize them.
4. Try to get closer to your father, treat him kindly
and strive to honour him. Perhaps that will soften his
heart and make him want to do that which will bring
you happiness and stability.
5. Apologize to the man's family and interact with
them in a way that will show them that you regret what you
did to them. Perhaps Allaah will open their hearts to
this marriage, which will make it easier for your father
to accept the idea.
6. Prepare yourself to accept what Allaah has decreed
_ even if it is not what you would like _ by being
prepared for the worst case scenario, such as not being able to
get married at all, because when you accept the worst
case scenario, it loses its power to shock you, which may
lead to frustration or loss of faith, or thinking negatively
of Allaah and His wisdom.
7. Strive to give this orphan whom Allaah has placed
in your care an Islamic upbringing, and treat her kindly,
for in bringing up and sponsoring an orphan there is
great reward which may be the means of bringing blessings
to you and divine help in all your affairs.
We ask Allaah to perfect His blessings upon you and
to make faith steadfast in your heart and to help you to
do all that is good. May He make this marriage easy if it
is good for both of you, and may He guide us all to
the straight path. May Allaah send blessings and peace
upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon his family.
Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com)
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21841: Does he have to marry his female relative whom
he touched in a haraam manner?
Question:
I am in a horrible situation. I have commited a sin
by touching a unmarried women in our relatives. I
didn't had exual intercourse but I have touched this lady
and she also touched me. Now since this lady is relative (
my mothers brothers daughter) I am scared that this lady
will tell others. I have so far led my life as per islamic
shariah and people respect me a lot. I am unmarried and I
am going to get married to a pios muslimah. Should I
am liable to marry this woman whom I have touched? I
am very scared of this woman who is neighbour to my
family. What should I do to get out of this situation? I know
that I have commited a sin. I am preying allah to forgive
my sin. I can't imagine marrying this women who
always used tricks to attract me. Now I am trapped. Should I
tell my parents about it? Do I need to tell the girl whom I
am gonna marry about this? Can the girl whom I have
touched force me to marry her by islamic law?
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah. You have to ask Allaah for
forgiveness and repent to Him for what you have done, and you
have to resolve never to go back to that. The fact that
you touched this woman does not mean that you are
obliged to marry her; there is nothing in Islam that compels
a sane adult to marry any woman whom he does not
want to marry. No marriage is valid unless it meets the
necessary conditions, one of which is the consent of the
husband who is accountable.
You do not have to tell your parents or the girl you
are going to marry about what happened; rather you
are obliged to conceal what you have done, and to
repent, and this is between you and your Lord. The Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "Avoid
this filth that Allaah has forbidden. Whoever does any
such thing, then let him conceal it with the concealment
of Allaah." (Narrated by al-Bayhaqi; classed as saheeh
by al-Albaani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah, no. 663).
"Filth" means evil actions and bad speech that
Allaah has forbidden. Subul al-Salaam, 3/31
And Allaah knows best.
Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid
(www.islam-qa.com)
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13808: Ruling on a woman marrying someone who
attends Mawlid celebrations and practices some innovations
Question:
My sister-in-law will be getting married soon. She
is worried about the type of boy she can get married to.
To be specific, she has asked me whether it is valid to
get married to a person who is a strong supporter of
the Mawlid or Milad-un-Nabi practice? I do understand
that this practice itself is an innovation in Islam.
However, the difficulty is whether one can get married to such
people who practice Mawlid. In New XXX, the people
involved in this practice, do this as an act of worship. People
would be invited to attend this ceremony where various
hadith are read, songs are sung and dua is made. People
actually stand and sing! I hope this is the practice the fatwaa
on your site refers to. The question is whether one can
marry those who do this practice? The more difficult
question and the one I am afraid to ask is whether these people
are Muslims? Sheikh, you do not have to answer the
second one if it is not wise to?
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah. With regard to the Mawlid
and whether the one who does that is considered to be
a Muslim, you will find a detailed answer in the
Seasonal topics section of this website. In brief, those who do
this are of many kinds, depending on what they do _
although the Mawlid is in and of itself bid'ah (an innovation).
But the ruling on those who do it depends on what
actions contrary to sharee'ah they do in this Mawlid.
Therefore the matter may extend as far as shirk and going
beyond the pale of Islam, if any actions which are known
to constitute kufr are committed on this occasion, such
as calling upon anyone other than Allaah, or attributing
any divine qualities to the Prophet peace and blessings
of Allaah be upon him) etc. But if it does not go that
far, then the one who attends such events is a faasiq
(rebellious evildoer) but not a kaafir, and his fisq (rebellion)
varies according to the unIslamic or innovated actions he
does in the Mawlid.
With regard to the issue of marrying a man who participates in things like the Mawlid, the ruling
varies according to the state of the man. If he does things
that constitute kufr then it is not permissible to marry
him under any circumstances, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"And give not (your daughters) in marriage
to AlMushrikoon till they believe (in Allaah Alone)
and verily, a believing slave is better than a (free)
Mushrik (idolater), even though he pleases
you" [al-Baqarah 2:221]
Such a marriage would be regarded as null and
void, according to the consensus of the scholars.
But if the innovation does not reach the degree of
kufr, the scholars still issued a stern warning against
marrying innovators. Imaam Maalik (may Allaah have mercy
on him) said: "Do not marry a woman from among
the innovators, or give your daughter in marriage to
an innovator, or greet them with salaam…"
(al-Mudawwanah, 1/84). Imaam Ahmad (may Allaah
have mercy on him) said something similar.
The four Imaams (may Allaah have mercy on them)
stated that religious compatibility between the man and
woman is one of the matters which must be taken
into consideration. A faasiq (rebellious evildoer) is
not compatible with a righteous,
religiously-committed Muslim woman, because Allaah says (interpretation
of the meaning):
"Is then he who is a believer like him who is a
Faasiq (disbeliever and disobedient to Allaah)? Not equal
are they"
[al-Sajdah 32:18]
Undoubtedly, following innovation in religion is one
of the most serious forms of fisq (rebellion,
evildoing). Paying attention to religious compatibility means that
if the woman discovers that her husband is a faasiq, or if
it becomes clear to her guardians that the husband is a
faasiq after the marriage contract has taken place, then
the woman or her guardians has the right to object to
this contract and ask for it to be annulled. But if they
choose to forego this right, then the contract is valid.
Hence we should be careful to avoid such
marriages, especially since the man is in charge of the
woman (qawwaamah) and he may give the woman a hard time
or force her to commit some acts of bid'ah, or make her
go against the Sunnah in some matters. With regard to
the children, their situation is more serious, because there
is the risk that he will bring them up to follow his
innovation, so they will grow up following a path other than that
of Ahl al-Sunnah. This will cause great hardship
and difficulty to their mother who follows the way of Ahl
al-Sunnah wa'l-Jamaa'ah.
In conclusion, according to the scholars of Ahl
al-Sunnah it is strongly makrooh for a woman to marry a
Muslim man who follows bid'ah, because of the bad
consequences that will result from that, and because it will cancel
out many good things.
And whoever gives up something for the sake of
Allaah, Allaah will compensate him with something better
than it. And Allaah knows best.
See Mawqif Ahl al-Sunnah wa'l-Jamaa'ah min Ahl
al-Ahwaa' wa'l-Bida' by Dr. Ibraaheem al-Raheeli,
1/373-388.
Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid
(www.islam-qa.com)
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21860: She stipulated the condition that if he married
a second wife, that second wife would be divorced
Question:
A man got married and they stipulated the condition
in the marriage contract that every woman he married
would be divorced, then he got married (to another wife).
What is the ruling according to the four schools?
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah was asked this
question and he replied as follows:
This condition is not binding according to the
madhhab of Imaam al-Shaafa'i, and it is binding on him
according to the madhhab of Abu Haneefah, so that when he
gets married the divorce takes place, and when he takes
a concubine she becomes free. This is also the view
of Maalik. With regard to the madhhab of Ahmad, no
divorce or manumission takes place, but if he gets married or
takes a concubine, the matter is in the woman's hands: if
she wishes, she may stay with him, or if she wishes, she
may leave him, because the Prophet (peace and blessings
of Allaah be upon him) said: "The conditions which are
most deserving of fulfillment are those by means of
which intimacy becomes permissible to you." And because
a man got married subject to the condition that he
would not take another wife; he referred the matter to
`Umar, and he said, "Rights and duties are to be defined in
the light of conditions."
So there are three views concerning this matter:
That divorce and manumission take place.
That they do not take place, and that the woman does
not have the right to leave him.
The most just of the three views, which is that
divorce and manumission do not take place, but that the
woman has the right to insist on the condition: if she wishes
she may stay with him or if she wishes she may leave
him. This is the most moderate opinion.
Al-Fataawa al-Kubra, 3/125. (www.islam-qa.com)
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21047: Why is it not permissible for a Muslim woman
to marry a kaafir man
Question:
It is permissible for Muslim men to marry women
who are not Muslim, so why are Muslim women not
permitted to marry men who follow a religion other than Islam?
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
It is permissible for a Muslim man to marry a
woman from among the People of the Book, a Jewish or
Christian woman, but not a woman from any other kaafir
religion, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"Made lawful to you this day are AtTayyibaat [all
kinds of Halaal (lawful) foods, which Allaah has made
lawful (meat of slaughtered eatable animals, milk products,
fats, vegetables and fruits)]. The food (slaughtered
cattle, eatable animals) of the people of the Scripture (Jews
and Christians) is lawful to you and yours is lawful to
them. (Lawful to you in marriage) are chaste women from
the believers and chaste women from those who were
given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) before your time
when you have given their due Mahr (bridal-money given
by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage)…"
[al-Maa'idah 5:5]
This refers to chaste women from among the People
of the Book, not immoral women. It is not permissible for
a Muslim woman to marry a mushrik who is not a
Muslim, no matter what his religion is. Allaah says
(interpretation of the meaning):
"And give not (your daughters) in marriage
to AlMushrikoon till they believe (in Allaah Alone)
and verily, a believing slave is better than a (free)
Mushrik (idolater), even though he pleases you. Those
(Al-Mushrikoon) invite you to the Fire…"
[al-Baqarah 2:221]
And because Islam should prevail and not be
prevailed over, as is stated in the religion of Islam.
Shaykh `Abd al-Kareem al-Khudayr
It is known that the man is the stronger party and the
one who dominates the lives of the family, his wife
and children. So it is not wise for a Muslim woman to
marry a kaafir man who will dominate her life and the life
of her children, the consequences of which will be
very serious, as there is the possibility that he may divert
her from her religion and raise the children in his own religion.
And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A Sheikh
Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid
(www.islam-qa.com)
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22302: Women whom it is permissible to marry in
some cases and not in others
Question:
Are there any instances in Islam where it is
permissible to marry a woman in some cases and it is not
permissible to marry the same woman in other cases?
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
this issue further:
1 _ It is haraam to marry a woman who is in
`iddah following the end of a marriage (by divorce or death)
to another man, because Allaah says (interpretation of
the meaning):
"And do not consummate the marriage until the
term prescribed is fulfilled" [al-Baqarah
2:235]
The wisdom behind that is that there is the
possibility that she might be pregnant [from the first husband],
and it would result in the "waters" (sperm) being mixed
and the lineage being confused (i.e., if he were to marry
her before the `iddah was over).
2 _ It is haraam to marry a zaaniyah (a woman who
has committed fornication or adultery) if she is known to
have done that, until she repents and completes her
`iddah, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"and the adulteress _fornicatress, none marries
her except an adulterer — fornicater or a Mushrik]. Such
a thing is forbidden to the believers (of Islamic Monotheism)"
[al-Nisaa' 24:3]
3 _ It is forbidden for a man to marry a woman whom
he has divorced (talaaq) three times until she has
been married to another man in a valid marriage which
has been consummated, because Allaah says
(interpretation of the meaning):
"The divorce is twice… And if he has divorced her
(the third time), then she is not lawful unto him thereafter
until she has married another
husband…" [al-Baqarah
2:229-230]
4 _ It is forbidden to marry a woman who is in
ihraam [for Hajj or `Umrah] until she has exited the state
of ihraam.
5 _ It is forbidden to be married to two sisters at the
same time, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"Forbidden to you (for marriage) are: … two sisters
in wedlock at the same time"
[al-Nisaa' 4:23]
It is also forbidden to be married to a woman and
her paternal aunt or a woman and her maternal aunt at
the same time, because the Prophet (peace and blessings
of Allaah be upon him) said: "Do not be married to a
woman and her paternal aunt or a woman and her maternal
aunt at the same time." (Agreed upon). And the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) explained the
reason behind that when he said, "If you do that then you
have broken the ties of kinship." That is because of the
jealousy that exists between co-wives, and if one of them is
related to the other, the ties of kinship between them will be
cut. But if a woman is divorced and her `iddah is over,
then her sister, paternal aunt and maternal aunt
become permissible for marriage (to that man), because the
reason for the prohibition has ceased to exist.
6 _ It is not permissible to be married to more than
four women at one time, because Allaah says
(interpretation of the meaning):
"then marry (other) women of your choice, two or
three, or four" [al-Nisaa' 4:3]
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) commanded those who were married to more than
four women to divorce some of them when they entered Islam.
And Allaah knows best.
Al-Mulakhkhas al-Fiqhi by Shaykh Saalih ibn
Fawzaan al-Fawzaan, 2/271 (www.islam-qa.com)
Click here for Further Reading
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13929: Her brother was her guardian for marriage
because her father did not approve of the marriage, then he
agreed one year later
Question:
I have a question regarding the validity of my Nikah.
I got married one year ago with my brother as my
guardian, because my father refused to marry me. After one
year, my father had happily accepted my marriage. I
am sometimes worried about the validity of my nikah, was
it islamically correct?
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
(1) This advice is addressed to parents:
The duty of parents is to hasten to arrange the
marriages of the women who are under their guardianship,
if someone who is compatible proposes marriage and
the woman agrees to that. Whoever does not do that is
going against the command of the Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him). It was narrated from
Abu Hurayrah that the Messenger of Allaah (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "If there comes
a proposal of marriage from one with whose
religious commitment and character you are pleased, then
marry [your female relative under your guardianship] to
him, for if you do not do that, there will be fitnah
(temptation, tribulation) on earth and much corruption." (Narrated
by al-Tirmidhi, al-Nikaah, 1004; classed as hasan by
al-Albaani in Saheeh Sunan al-Tirmidhi, no. 865).
It is not permissible to treat them with harshness [cf.
al-Nisaa' 4:19 _ interpretation of the meaning] for any
reason that has not been prescribed by Allaah and His
Messenger. "Harsh treatment", as defined by Ibn Qudaamah,
means, "preventing a woman from getting married to
someone who is compatible, if she asks for that and if each of
them wants to marry the other." (See
al-Mughni, part 7, p. 24). Parents and guardians should hasten to marry the
women under their care because that will protect them from
falling into that which Allaah has forbidden, and so that
the guardian himself will not fall into that which Allaah
has forbidden of the sin of treating them harshly. The
basic principle is that harsh treatment on the part of the
guardian by not letting her marry someone compatible is
haraam, because it is oppression and harming the woman
by depriving her of her right to marry someone she
wants. That is because Allaah forbade that when He
said, addressing guardians:
"… do not prevent them from marrying their
(former) husbands…" [al-Baqarah 2:232 _ interpretation of
the meaning].
(2) The ruling on this matter may be one of two:
The first is that if the closest relative or guardian of
the woman was treating her harshly by preventing her
from getting married, then it is OK for a more distant
relative to act as her guardian in marriage, even if the
closer relative is present, because in this case he has no right
to be her guardian.
Al-Mirdaawi said: "The phrase `if the closer relative
is preventing her from getting married then the more
distant relative should act as her guardian in marriage' is
the correct view in the madhhab; most of our
companions share this view… Shaykh Taqiy al-Deen (may Allaah
have mercy on him) said: one of the forms of `harsh
treatment' is when no one is proposing marriage to her, because
of the harshness of her guardian."
(al-Insaaf, part 5, p. 74)
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah said: If she likes a
man and he is compatible with her, then it is obligatory for
her brother or her (paternal) uncle to act as her guardian
in her marriage to him. If they treat her harshly and
prevents her from marrying, then a more-distantly related
guardian may marry her to him."
(al-Fataawa al-Kubra, part 3, p. 83)
Ibn Qudaamah said: "If her more-closely related
guardian treats her harshly (by not letting her get married),
then the guardianship passes to one who is more
distantly related. This was stated by Ahmad…"
(al-Mughni by Ibn Qudaamah, part 7, p. 24)
Shaykh Ibn `Uthaymeen said: If a father prevents
his daughter from marrying someone who is compatible,
then guardianship passes to a more distant relative, the
closest then the closest." (Fataawa
Islamiyyah, part 3, p. 149)
The second is when a more distant relative has
arranged the marriage when the closer relative is present and
was not treating her harshly (by preventing her from
getting married).
Al-Mardaawi said: "If a more distant relative
arranged the marriage for no reason, or a non-relative arranged
the marriage, then this is not valid."
(al-Insaaf, part 8, p. 82).
Al-Bahooti said: "If a more distant relative arranged
the marriage with no reason why a closer relative could
not have arranged it, then the marriage is not valid…
because the more distant relative has no right of guardianship if
a closer relative is present."
(Kashshaaf al-Qinaa', part 5, p. 56)
This issue may be examined further. If the closer
relative approves of this marriage, what is the ruling? And if
the closer relative approves of this marriage, does his
approval make the marriage valid or not?
The scholars said: If someone arranges the marriage
when there is someone else who is more entitled to
guardianship and he is present, and is not treating her harshly
(by preventing her from getting married), then the
marriage is invalid. This issue includes three rulings, the first
of which is that if the more distantly related
guardian arranges the marriage, when the more closely
related guardian is present, and she accepts the proposal
of marriage without the permission of the closer
relative, then it is not valid.
This was the view of al-Shaafa'i.
Maalik said: It is valid, because this is a guardian, so it
is permissible for him to arrange the marriage with
her permission, as is the case with a closer relative.
The second ruling is that this marriage is null and void;
it was not done with permission or with proper
permission, and it cannot be made valid with the approval of the
closer relative. Marriage in all such cases is invalid,
according to the more sound of the two reports. This was stated
by Ahmad in several places, and this is the view of
al-Shaafa'i, Abu `Ubayd and Abu Thawr.
Another report was narrated from Ahmad, in which
he said that it depended on approval, if approval was
given it was permissible, and if approval were not given, it
was invalid.
Inkaah al-Fudooli.
According to the terminology of the fuqaha', the
fudooli means one who interferes in the rights of another
without any permission from sharee'ah, because his interfering
is not based on any rights of ownership, trusteeship
or guardianship.
(al-Mawsoo'ah al-Fiqhiyyah, part 32, p. 171)
The fuqaha' differed concerning the ruling on a
marriage arranged by a fudooli without any rights of
guardianship or proxy:
The Hanbalis and al-Shaafa'i in
al-Jadeed said that the marriage arranged by a fudooli is invalid and the
approval of the guardian has no effect (i.e., the marriage
contract must be repeated).
The second view is that of Ahmad, according to one
report narrated from him, and of Abu Yoosuf, which is that
the marriage arranged by a fudooli is valid, but it depends
on the approval of the guardian. If he gives approval then
it is OK, but if he disapproves, it is not valid.
(al-Mawsoo'ah al-Fiqhiyyah, part 32, p. 175)
In conclusion: some of the scholars have said that
the marriage contract is valid if the guardian approves _
as you have seen _ and if you want to have more peace
of mind and avoid an area concerning which there
are differences of opinion among the scholars, then do
the marriage contract again. All that is needed is the
proposal from your guardian _ your father _ and acceptance
from the husband, and the witness of two Muslim men,
and repentance for what has happened. We ask Allaah to
give you strength.
Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com)
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12630: The fact that the woman is older the man should
not prevent them from getting married
Question:
I am 21 year old muslim. I do want to get married soon.
I especially want to get Married to someone who is
older than me(e.g.somebody about 7 years older). Is
There anything `wrong' in wanting to do this? I know that
the prophet's 1st wife was About 15 years older than
him. However, people might think my preference is a little
odd. After all, it does not happen much nowadays
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
Age does not matter, and it does not matter if the
woman is older or if the husband is older. The Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) married
Khadeejah when she was forty and he was twenty-five. What
does matter is that the man should look for a righteous
woman who is religiously-committed, even if she is older
than him, if she is still young enough to bear children.
The point is that age should not be a problem and such
a marriage is not wrong if the man is righteous and
the woman is righteous. May Allaah guide us all to the
best way.
Summarized from the fatwa of Shaykh Ibn Baaz
in Fataawa Islamiyyah, part 3, p. 107
Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid
(www.islam-qa.com)
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12283: A Christian woman is asking whether her
marriage to a Muslim is valid
Question:
I am a Christian woman, recently married to a
Muslim man. Due to our different beliefs, we were married in
a courthouse, as opposed to a Mosque. Does the
Muslim belief still see this as a "real" marriage? I have
researched this, and was surprised to read that the Islam belief
does not honor this as a real wedding? Please confirm...I
am very much in love with this man!
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah. Firstly: if the marriage contract
was done with:
1. the proposal of your guardian _ who may be your
father or whoever is acting in his place if he is not there, on
the condition that he is of the same religion as you _ by
his saying, for example, "I offer my daughter in marriage
to you."
2. Acceptance on the part of the husband by saying,
for example, "I accept."
3. The contract was done in the presence of two
Muslim witnesses
_ then the marriage is valid. (For more details on
the conditions of marriage, see question no. 2127 and
the section on conditions of marriage on this web site).
If any of these conditions is missing, then the marriage
is not valid, and you have to do it again. The place
where the marriage contract is done does not have any effect
on the validity of the marriage.
Secondly: this question caught our attention because
of your keen interest in finding out the rules of the
Islamic religion concerning this matter. Perhaps this will lead
you to enquire about greater realities, the most important
of which is, which is the true religion?
Permit us to ask you the following questions:
Do you want a happy life? Do you care about
finding contentment? Are you looking for the truth? Do you
want a good and righteous life for your children?
If you do, then please _ may Allaah guide you and us
to the truth _ consider the following:
That Allaah has created mankind for a great
purpose, which is to worship Allaah alone with no partner
or associate. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"And I (Allaah) created not the jinn and mankind
except that they should worship Me (Alone).
I seek not any provision from them (i.e. provision
for themselves or for My creatures) nor do I ask that
they should feed Me (i.e. feed themselves or My creatures).
Verily, Allaah is the AllProvider, Owner of Power, the
Most Strong"
[al-Dhaariyaat 51:56-58]
Allaah sent the Messengers to call mankind to
this purpose. He said (interpretation of the meaning):
"And verily, We have sent among every
Ummah (community, nation) a Messenger
(proclaiming): "Worship Allaah (Alone), and avoid (or keep away
from) Taaghoot (all false deities, i.e. do not worship
Taaghoot besides Allaah)." Then of them were some whom
Allaah guided and of them were some upon whom the
straying was justified. So travel through the land and see
what was the end of those who denied (the truth)"
[al-Nahl 16:36]
Then Allaah sent the final Messenger, Muhammad
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). He was the last
of the Prophets and Messengers. Allaah says
(interpretation of the meaning):
"Muhammad is not the father of any of your men, but
he is the Messenger of Allaah and the last (end) of
the Prophets. And Allaah is Ever AllAware of
everything" [al-Ahzaab 33:40]
"Muhammad is the Messenger of Allaah. And those
who are with him are severe against disbelievers, and
merciful among themselves. You see them bowing and falling
down prostrate (in prayer), seeking Bounty from Allaah
and (His) Good Pleasure. The mark of them (i.e. of their
Faith) is on their faces (foreheads) from the traces of
prostration (during prayers). This is their description in the
Tawraat (Torah). But their description in the Injeel (Gospel)
is like a (sown) seed which sends forth its shoot, then
makes it strong, and becomes thick and it stands straight on
its stem, delighting the sowers, that He may enrage
the disbelievers with them. Allaah has promised those
among them who believe (i.e. all those who follow
Islamic Monotheism, the religion of Prophet Muhammad till
the Day of Resurrection) and do righteous good
deeds, forgiveness and a mighty reward (i.e. Paradise)"
[al-Fath 48:29]
One of the reasons why He sent the Messengers was
so as to establish proof against mankind, lest they say,
"No Messenger came to us and no one told us that
Allaah commanded us to worship Him." Allaah
says (interpretation of the meaning):
"Verily, We have sent the Revelation to you
(O Muhammad) as We sent the Revelation to Nooh
(Noah) and the Prophets after him; We (also) sent the
Revelation to Ibraaheem (Abraham), Ismaa`eel (Ishmael),
Ishaaq (Isaac), Ya`qoob (Jacob), and AlAsbaat [the offspring
of the twelve sons of Ya`qaab (Jacob)], `Eesa
(Jesus), Ayyoob (Job), Yoonus (Jonah), Haaroon (Aaron),
and Sulaymaan (Solomon); and to Daawood (David) We
gave the Zaboor (Psalms).
And Messengers We have mentioned to you before,
and Messengers We have not mentioned to you, — and
to Moosa (Moses) Allaah spoke directly.
Messengers as bearers of good news as well as of
warning in order that mankind should have no plea against
Allaah after the (coming of) Messengers. And Allaah is
Ever AllPowerful, AllWise
[al-Nisaa' 4:163-165]
We call you, and everyone who does not follow
the religion of Islam, to hasten to obey the command of
Allaah by believing in Him alone, with no partner or
associate, and to believe in His Prophet Muhammad (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him), whom Allaah sent
to all of creation, men and jinn alike. Allaah has
commanded them to do this, as He says (interpretation of the meaning):
"O mankind! Verily, there has come to you the
Messenger (Muhammad) with the truth from your Lord. So
believe in him, it is better for you. But if you disbelieve,
then certainly to Allaah belongs all that is in the heavens
and the earth. And Allaah is Ever AllKnowing, AllWise.
O people of the Scripture (Christians)! Do not exceed
the limits in your religion, nor say of Allaah aught but
the truth. The Messiah `Eesa (Jesus), son of Maryam
(Mary), was (no more than) a Messenger of Allaah and His
Word, ("Be!" — and he was) which He bestowed on
Maryam (Mary) and a spirit (Rooh) created by Him; so believe
in Allaah and His Messengers. Say not: "Three
(trinity)!" Cease! (it is) better for you. For Allaah is (the only)
One Ilaah (God), glory is to Him (Far Exalted is He)
above having a son. To Him belongs all that is in the
heavens and all that is in the earth. And Allaah is AllSufficient
as a Disposer of affairs"
[al-Nisaa' 4:170-171]
Allaah has told us in His Noble Book (the Qur'aan [Qur'an, Quran])
that He does not accept any religion other than Islam.
Allaah says (interpretation of the meanings):
"And whoever seeks a religion other than Islam, it
will never be accepted of him, and in the Hereafter he will
be one of the losers"
[Aal `Imraan 3:85]
"Allaah bears witness that Laa ilaaha illa Huwa
(none has the right to be worshipped but He), and the
angels, and those having knowledge (also give this witness);
(He always) maintains His creation in justice. Laa ilaaha
illa Huwa (none has the right to be worshipped but He),
the AllMighty, the All-Wise.
Truly, the religion with Allaah is Islam. Those who
were given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) did not
differ except, out of mutual jealousy, after knowledge had
come to them. And whoever disbelieves in the Ayaat
(proofs, evidences, verses, signs, revelations, etc.) of Allaah,
then surely, Allaah is Swift in calling to account
[Aal `Imraan 3:18-19]
Do not forget that if you become Muslim, it will be
better for your children, so that they will not be confused
or suffer from mental anguish, and say, "Our father is
a Muslim and our mother is a Christian, so who should
we follow?"
Perhaps thinking through these matters more deeply
will lead to a good result, by Allaah's leave. Strive to read
a sound translation of the Qur'aan [Qur'an, Quran], which is considered
to be the miracle of the Prophet of Islam, then read
the biography of the Messenger Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), and how Allaah
granted success to him and his Companions, and how
Allaah supported him with miracles, such as making water
flow from between his fingers and the splitting the moon,
when the mushrikoon (polytheists) asked for a sign _ so
he commanded the moon to split, and it split in two _
and other events which are recorded in his
Seerah (biography). And he also spoke of unseen matters which could not
be known except by means of Revelation, such as when
he said that the empires of the Persians and
Romans (Byzantines) would be conquered before it happened,
and other matters which are indicative of his
Prophethood. We ask Allaah to guide us all.
Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid
(www.islam-qa.com)
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8190: Guardianship over a woman's marriage and wealth
Question:
We know that if a woman wants to get married, she
has to have a wali (guardian) who will do the marriage
contract on her behalf. But how does she decide who will be
her wali? Does the wali have to take care of all the
woman's dealings? Please advise us, may Allaah reward you
with good.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
The ways in which a man may be appointed as a
woman's wali for marriage are five: being her owner (if she is
a slave); being related to her; being her patron (as
when one tribe is patron of another, etc.); being a leader (of
the community, etc.); and guardianship (wisaayah). The
wali is one of the conditions of the validity of a marriage. It
is not permissible for a woman to be a wali in
marriage either for herself or for someone else for any reason;
she cannot act as a wali for herself, on behalf of another or
as the deputy of another. If she does that, the
marriage contract is invalid.
A woman who is adult, of sound mind and sensible
has the right to manage her own money and to dispose of
it however she wishes, whether that is in return
for something or not, such as buying and selling,
renting, lending, giving in charity or giving gifts, giving all
or part of the money. No one has the right to stop her
doing that, and she does not need anyone's permission,
whether she is virgin who has a father, or does nit have a father,
or is married with a husband.
It is permissible for a mother to dispose of her
children's wealth, food or otherwise, as is also permissible for
the father. It is also permissible for a woman to dispose
of and eat from her parents' wealth with regard to
things that are permissible for her.
The mother has the right to guardianship over the
wealth of her children who are still young or who are
insane, because she is more compassionate towards her child
than anyone else.
A woman does not have the right to dispose of
her husband's wealth or give any of it in charity without
his permission, whether that permission is explicit or
is implied by custom and habit.
It is permissible for a woman to have the position
of guardianship (wasiyah) over someone else's money
and she may be in control of money over which she has
been appointed guardian, so long as she meets the
conditions of guardianship, whether she is the mother of the
children or is not related to them.
It is permissible for a woman to be in charge of a
waqf; she has the right to be the guardian in charge of a
waqf and to decide how it should be disposed of. This
is according to scholarly consensus.
Wilaayat al-Mar'ah fi'l-Fiqh al-Islami, p. 691 (www.islam-qa.com)
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6690: A person who does not believe in the Sunnah
forfeits the right of guardianship
Question:
Can deviant Muslims be the wali (for marriage) of
their daughters if she is a Muslim with correct aqeedah?
For example, can a Muslim person who does not accept
that hadith (Sunnah) need to be followed be the wali of
a person who accepts Islaam (Qur'an and Sunnah)?
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
The scholars (may Allaah have mercy on them)
mentioned the conditions for being a woman's wali (guardian)
for marriage. Some of these conditions are agreed upon,
and others are disputed. The conditions that are agreed
upon are:
1. Islam
Ibn Quddamah said: The kaafir cannot be the wali of
a Muslim woman, according to the consensus of the scholars.
A similar view was also narrated from Ibn
al-Mundhir. (al-Mughni, 7/356)
2. Being of sound mind.
3. Majority (having reached puberty)
4. Being male.
Ibn Rushd said: (The scholars) agreed that among
the conditions of guardianship are: being Muslim, being
an adult and being male.
Bidaayat al-Mujtahid, 2/12
Ibn Qudaamah said: Being male is a condition of guardianship according to all (the scholars).
(al-Mughni, 7/356)
The conditions concerning which the scholars
disputed are:
1. Being free
The condition of being free is listed by most of
the scholars; the Hanafis were of a different view.
The basis of describing freedom as a condition is that
a slave has no power of guardianship over himself, so it
is more likely that he cannot have the power of
guardianship over anyone else.
(See the two references mentioned above)
2. Being of good character
Imaam al-Shaafa'i and Imaam Ahmad were of the
view that this is one of the conditions of guardianship.
What is meant by good character is appearing to be
of good character. It is not necessary for the wali to be
of good character both outwardly and inwardly. Such
a requirement would be too difficult and would lead to
most marriages being invalid. (Khashshaaf
al-Qinaa', 3/30)
It is important to note that the questioner may want
to marry the woman, then if he discusses some issues
with her guardian and they have an argument, he might
accuse him of not believing in referring to the Qur'aan [Qur'an, Quran]
and Sunnah. This would be overstepping the mark and a
major sin, because it is accusing a Muslim of something
that would put him beyond the pale of Islam.
But if the wife's guardian really does not believe in
the Sunnah, like that group which calls itself al-Qur'aan [Qur'an, Quran]iyyeen, then he should argue with him,
explain the truth to him, dispel his confusion and establish
proof against him. Then if he persists he is a kaafir, and it is
not permissible for him to be the guardian of a Muslim
woman for marriage even if she is his daughter. He forfeits
the right of guardianship, which then passes to the
closest Muslim relative of the woman. And Allah knows best.
Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid
(www.islam-qa.com)
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3975: Marrying a non-Muslim woman in order to
obtain settlement visa
Question:
i wanna marry a non muslim woman just for
papers, without really practicing sex. Should i do sex with
her even if i just want to take the papers? Is it possible
to marry her for that purpose?
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
We put this question to Shaykh Muhammad ibn
Saalih al-`Uthaymeen, may Allaah preserve him, who
answered as follows:
If she is one of those whom it is permissible to
marry, then there is nothing wrong with that, because the
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
"A woman may be married for four things" and he
mentioned wealth as one of them… and this is akin to that. If
he marries her in order to obtain the settlement visa, he
should not have the intention of divorcing her as soon as he
gets his settlement. And Allaah knows best.
Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-`Uthaymeen
(www.islam-qa.com)
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4569: She loves a man who is not a Sunni and wants
to marry him
Question:
i need to find some useful info about shias and
thier difference between us sunnis... i know this man and
he loves me very much and wishes to marry me - forever
not the mut aa type of marraige, however i know his
bsiefs are not in line with the sunnis so i ahve discussed
this wiht him and he has agreed to to research the
differences - i ma hoping that this way he will be able to decide
for himself which is the right path my problem is that i
ma not able to find any sights whihc provide
proper comparison and which do not directly accuse shias
as being wwrong - i wish to talk to someone about this
aaas i know there I wll be questions raised between me
and this person however i need assistance and would
much apreciate it if i could talk to someone or get a source
where even he could study which would not make him feel as
if his beiefs are being pout down - i think that telling
soeone softly and nicely will amke a person more willing to
listen than saying his beilefs are worng
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
We Sunnis wish all people well, and we ask Allaah
to guide all those who are misled and to reward all
those who obey Him. We hope that Allaah will guide
those Raafidis…
The differences between the Ahl al-Sunnah (Sunnis)
and the Raafidis are very great and are fundamental.
For example, the Raafidis say that the Qur'aan [Qur'an, Quran] was
altered, and they condemn most of the Sahaabah (may Allaah
be pleased with them) and think that they went astray;
they exaggerate about their imaams and worship them,
and give them precedence over the Prophets and angels;
they go on pilgrimages to mashhads (shrines) and
graves, where they do all kinds of actions of shirk,
associating others in worship with Allaah. They also believe
in hypocrisy (as a tenet of faith) and call it
taqiyah (dissimulation), and they believe in al-badaa'(the
notion that Allaah "changes His mind"), al-raj'ah (the
Return, i.e., the raising of the dead to life again for some time
in the same form as they were before) and absolute infallibility of their imaams, and in prostrating on
a handful of clay…
We advise you to read "Al-Khutoot al-`Areedah"
by Muhibb al-Deen al-Khateeb [this book is available
in English _ Translator], or Mukhtasar al-Tuhfat
al-Ithna' `Ashariyyah by al-Dahlawi, or
Fikrat al-Taqreeb bayna Ahl al-Sunnah
wa'l-Shee'ah by Naasir al-Qaffaari.
And we advise you not to think of marrying this
man… Whoever gives up something for the sake of Allaah,
Allaah will compensate him with something better. We ask
Allaah to make you strong and grant you a good life in this
world and in the Hereafter.
We would also remind you that it is not permitted to
have relationships with non-mahram men, as you will
find explained clearly in Questions 2005 , 9465 And
1114 We ask Allaah to help you to do all that is good.
Shaykh Muhammad Aal `Abd al-Lateef
(www.islam-qa.com)
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8435: He claims to be a Muslim but he does not
practise Islam at all; however, he is prepared to learn _ can
she marry him?
Question:
can i marry a man who does not know any aspect of
islam. his parents are muslim but they never bothered to
teach him religion,they kept islam upto them but he himself
is a very humble person and i have experienced that if
myself or any body else will try to explain him the teachings
of islam,he will galdly hear it and inshallah he will also
let those teachings to enter his life. i have strong believe
in religion i am not very religious but i try my best to
follow islam.i love him very much and i believe that after
marring him i can easily bring him on the right path on which
i am inshallah.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
We put the following question to Shaykh Muhammad
ibn Saalih al-`Uthaymeen:
There is a Muslim woman who has received a
proposal of marriage from a man who claims to be a Muslim
but he does not practise Islam at all _because he is
ignorant about it. But he says that he is prepared to learn
and practise. Can she marry him or not?
His answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
If he bears witness that there is no god except Allaah
and that Muhammad is the Messenger of Allaah, then he is
a Muslim, and it is permissible for her to marry him.
And Allaah knows best.
Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-`Uthaymeen: (www.islam-qa.com)
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8412: Desirable qualities in a husband
Question:
I am a 24 year old muslim Lebanese girl living in
Ottawa, Canada. Having lived so away from home for such a
long time, I often find that I need guidance with the persuite
of knowledge of Islam, our great guid in life. I am
wondering the virtues a woman should look for in a
potential husband, more specific than for him to be a
practicing moslem. As well, I regard the role of motherhood as
a very precious and sacred one, any advice on having a
good moslem household and rearing children to be all they
can be and close to our faith? I would appreciate
any comments You would have regarding this
topic... Curiously yours,
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly, we advise you to go to one of the nearby
mosques or Islamic centres, and try to go there as often as
possible. This will let you get to know some righteous sisters
and benefit from what you hear from them.
The man whom a woman agrees to marry should be committed to Islam and should adhere to its rulings
and morals. Other attributes and characteristics are a
matter concerning which people differ.
With regard to the education and upbringing of
children, one of the most important factors in their upbringing
is creating a good environment for them. This
includes choosing a suitable husband; choosing a suitable
home, in an area among righteous people and people with
whom one would like to make friends; choosing suitable
schools for them; keeping the means of corruption out of the
home; having a good relationship between the husband and
wife; husband and wife being in agreement concerning
matters of child-rearing so that there will not be any conflict
or contradiction between them. It is also important for
the parents to read some suitable books on raising childre,
to learn from those whom they think have raised
their children well, and to set a good example to the children.
Mohammed al-Duwaysh
(www.islam-qa.com)
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5964: He married a Christian girl in the presence of
her kaafir brother
Question:
I made zeena with a christian girl and she
became pregnant.In my ignorance,I thought I would make
the situation right and marry her.We were married in
the masjid with the imam,another muslim brother,her
brother and her mother as witness.She was not muslim at the
time of our marriage.She did later take shahadah before
our child was born.What is the status of our
marriage?What is the status of this child?What is the status of my
other children by her?I have regret and remorse of what I
did and I do not want go back to this,but I am concerned
that my marriage is not even legal,in which case I would
find myself in the same sin.What do I do to relieve myself
of the predicament I have gotten myself into?
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
This marriage is considered to be null and void,
because it happened when she was pregnant as a result of
zinaa, and because it was lacking in one of the
essential conditions of marriage, which is the presence of two
male witnesses and the acceptance of her guardian. On
this basis, the marriage contract must be repeated with
a Muslim walee (guardian) or qaadi (judge). The
children should be named after the father on whose bed they
were born and the father should not disown any one of
them, because "the child is for the bed."
And Allaah knows best.
Written by Ibn Jibreen.
(www.islam-qa.com)
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7193: The girl's father disagrees with a marriage _what
is the solution?
Question:
I have a question regarding marrige. If a father
disagrees with a marrage along racial lines or because that
person is upon the manhaj of the salaf and there is no
islamic judge in your locality e.g. Carribbean, What should
that person do according to the Qur'an and Sunnah?
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly: it is not permissible for a man to marry a
woman without the permission of her walee (guardian),
regardless of whether she is a virgin or previously-married. This
is the view of the majority of scholars, including
al-Shaafa'i, Maalik and Ahmad. They take as evidence (daleel)
the words of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah
be upon him):
"There should be no nikaah (marriage contract)
except with a wali (guardian)."
(Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1101; Abu Dawood, 2085;
Ibn Maajah, 1881. It is saheeh, as stated in Irwaa'
al-Ghaleel,6/235, by al-Albaani, may Allaah have mercy on him).
And the hadeeth:
"Any woman who gets married without the
permission of her wali, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is
invalid, her marriage is invalid. If her husband has
consummated the marriage, then the mahr belongs to her in return
for that. If she does not have a wali then the (Muslim)
ruler is the wali of anyone who does not have a wali."
(Narrated and classed as hasan by al-Tirmidhi, 1102;
Abu Dawood, 2083; Ibn Maajah, 1879).
Secondly: if her wali prevents her from marrying
the person she wants with no shar'i reason for doing so,
the guardianship passes to someone who is fit to be a
wali, so it may pass from her father to her grandfather,
for example.
Thirdly: if all her guardians prevent her for no
shar'i reason, then the (Muslim) ruler will be her wali,
because of the hadeeth, "…If she does not have a wali, then
the (Muslim) ruler is the wali of anyone who does not have
a wali." The "ruler" here means the judge who
rules according to sharee'ah.
The wali does not have the right to prevent a woman
from marrying on the basis of his own whims and with no
shar'i reason.
It was reported that al-Hasan said: Ma'qil ibn
Yassaar told me that [this aayah] was revealed concerning
him. He said: "I married a sister of mine to a man, and
he divorced her. When her `iddah was over, he came
and asked to marry her. I said to him, `I married her to
you and I treated you well and honoured you, then
you divorced her. And now you come asking to marry
her! No, by Allaah, she will never go back to you!' He was
a man who had nothing wrong with him, and the
woman wanted to go back to him. Then Allaah revealed this
aayah (interpretation of the meaning): `…do not prevent
them …' [al-Baqarah 2:232]. So I said, `Now I will do it,
O Messenger of Allaah.'" So he married her to
him. (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4837).
According to another report, he said:
"It was concerning me that this aayah was
revealed (interpretation of the meaning): `And when you
have divorced women and they have fulfilled the term of
their prescribed period, do not prevent them from
marrying their (former) husbands' [al-Baqarah 2:232].
Fourthly: If there is no wali and no shar'i judge, then
her case should be referred to the ruler or whoever is
acting in his stead. If there is no such person, then her case
should be referred to the sharee'ah courts. If there is no
sharee'ah court, then her case should be referred to a man who
holds a position of leadership among his people and
is committed to Islam. If there is no such man, then her
case should be referred to any trustworthy and
religiously-committed man who is fit to be a wali.
Ibn Qudaamah said: if a woman does not have a wali
and there is no ruler, then according to Ahmad, any
religiously-committed man may arrange her marriage with
her permission. (al-Mughni, 7/352).
Shaykh `Umar Al-Ashqar says:
If there is no Muslim ruler and the woman is in a
place where the Muslims do not have a ruler and she has
no wali at all, such as the Muslims in America etc., then
if there are Islamic organizations in that country which
take care of the Muslims' affairs, they should step in and
take care of arranging her marriage. The same applies if
the Muslims have a leader whom they obey or someone
who takes care of their affairs. (Al-Waadih fi Sharh
Qaanoon al-Ahwaal al-Shakhsiyyah al-Urduni, p. 70).
All of this [transferring guardianship to someone
other than the girl's father] must be with the consent of the
girl and should not result in greater corruption than
preventing you from marrying her. It should also be on the
condition that the reason for [the father's] refusal is
invalid according to the sharee'ah, as you have explained.
Fifthly: it is not permissible for the walee to
refuse marriage because the prospective husband does not
follow his manhaj of da'wah, or because he is not of his tribe
or from his country. The Prophet (peace and blessings
of Allaah be upon him) commanded us to marry
religious people and not to refuse them, otherwise corruption
and tribulation would be the result.
Abu Hurayrah said: the Messenger of Allaah (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "If someone
whose religious commitment and attitude pleases you
proposes marriage, then marry [your female relative under
your charge] to him. If you do not do that, there will
be tribulation in the land and much corruption."
(Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1084; Ibn Maajah, 1967. Classed as
saheeh by al-Albaani, may Allaah have mercy on him, in
al-Silsilah al-Saheehah. 1022).
Sixthly: by the same token, it is not permissible for
a woman to justify a marriage to whomever she wishes
on the grounds that this person is following the same
manhaj of da'wah. It is sufficient for her that the person who
is proposing marriage is religiously committed and has
a good attitude.
And all parties concerned should remember that
their Lord, may He be blessed and exalted, is always
watching them.
Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com)
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6491: How can she be sure of the Islam of a person
whom she wants to marry?
Question:
Hello, my question is that I like a guy who is not
muslim, but he is willing to change his religion. The problem
is that he says he will do it, but if it dosn't come from
the heart then it's not acceptable. I know that my parents
will have a lot of friction with this guy because he is half
black half white. I am afraid because I don't want to loose
my parents even if teh guy changes his religion and
becomes a true muslim how can I be sure that he will committ
to it.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
You need to know, may Allaah help you to adhere
firmly to Islam, that it is not permissible for a Muslim to love
a kaafir, because Allaah says (interpretation of the
meaning): "You (O Muhammad) will not find any people who
believe in Allaah and the Last Day, making friendship with
those who oppose Allaah and His Messenger
(Muhammad), even though they were their fathers or their sons or
their brothers or their kindred (people)."
[al-Mujaadilah 58:22]
As you say that you love him, you have to give up
this love for the sake of Allaah; whoever gives up a thing
for the sake of Allaah, Allaah will compensate him
with something better.
If this young man declares his Islam and you fear that
he is not sincere in his Islam, remember what Allaah
said (interpretation of the meaning): "O you who
believe! When believing women come to you as emigrants,
examine them; Allaah knows best as to their Faith, then if
you ascertain that they are true believers send them not
back to the disbelievers. They are not lawful (wives) for
the disbelievers nor are the disbelievers lawful
(husbands) for them." [al-Mumtahinah 60:10]
So he could be tested by asking him about Allaah,
His religion, and His Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), and about the
religion that he claims to have left.
You could also make sure of his Islam by watching to
see if he persists in the obligatory acts of worship, such
as prayer _ especially if there is a mosque nearby _
and fasting.
If a person _ especially a new Muslim _ is really
serious about Islam, this will also manifest itself in other
ways, such as whether he bothers to ask questions about
the rulings on halaal and haraam.
He will also be concerned about changing the way he
is, such as ridding himself of kaafir rituals and giving
up things that are munkar and haraam that he used to
do before he was Muslim.
Whether he is truly Muslim will also be seen from
the way he hates the kufr that he used to follow before.
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
said: "There are three things, whoever attains them will
find the sweetness of faith: when Allaah and His
Messenger are more beloved to him than anyone else; when he
loves a person and loves him only for the sake of Allaah;
and when he would hate to return to kufr after Allaah
has saved him from it, as he would hate to be thrown into
the fire." (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 21).
We also want to be sure that there is no
forbidden relationship, because a Muslim woman is not
permitted to do this. She should not touch or be alone with a
non-mahram man (one to whom she is not married or
related by close blood ties). We ask Allaah to choose good
for you and to decree it for you and to keep you safe from
all evil. May Allaah bless our Prophet Muhammad.
Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com)
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6122: She got married in the mosque without her
parents' knowledge
Question:
Is secret nikkah is permissible? My friend went to
mosque secretly from her parents and had a nikkah but there
was only one witness for the nikkah. Is the nikkah valid.
Please advise may god bless you.
Thank you.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
There has to be a walee (guardian) and two witnesses
to any marriage, because of the hadeeth, "There is
no marriage except with a walee" and "Any woman
who gets married without the knowledge of her walee,
her marriage is invalid." Therefore this marriage contract
must be renewed, if her walee agrees to that, in the presence
of two suitable witnesses. See Question #2127.
And Allaah knows best.
Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com)
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6942: Choosing a husband
Question:
What are the most important factors for a woman
in choosing a husband? If she rejects a righteous man
for some worldly reasons, will she be punished by Allaah?
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
The most important factors for a woman in choosing
a husband are his attitude/behaviour and his
commitment to religion. Wealth and lineage are secondary matters.
The most important thing is that the potential husband
should be religious and have a good attitude, because if a
man has religious commitment and a good attitude, a
woman has nothing to lose: if he keeps her (remains married
to her), he will keep her on a reasonable basis, and if
he divorces her, he will set her free on a reasonable
basis. Moreover, a man who is religious and has a good
attitude will be a blessing to her and her children, for they
will learn good manners and religion from him. But if
the prospective husband is not like that (is not religious),
she should keep away from him, especially those who
take the matter of prayer lightly or who are known to
drink alcohol. We seek refuge with Allaah.
As for those who do not pray at all, they are kuffaar and
it is not permissible for them to marry believing women.
It is important for the woman to focus on the matter
of attitude and religious commitment. With regard to
the matter of lineage, this is a bonus. The Prophet (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "If there comes
to you (to propose marriage to your daughter etc.) a
man with whose religious commitment and attitude you
are pleased, then marry (your daughter) to him."
But if you can manage to ensure compatibility (in
terms of lineage and socio-economic status, etc.) as well,
then this is better.
From the Fataawa of Shaykh Ibn `Uthaymeen, from
the book Fataawa al-Mar'ah (www.islam-qa.com)
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4602: Parents forcing their daughter into a marriage
Question:
I am muslim. I have to ask a question about my
friend who is being forced to marry someone by her
parents. She wanted to marry someone else. The guy who she
is being forced to marry is more educated and wealthy
than the one who she wanted to marry. Her parents
has disapproved of her choice and they are forcing her to
marry that guy. The guy who she likes is also muslim and
very much devoted into islam. But just because the
society would not talk about them they don't like the guy
who she loves. Any suggestions??
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
It is not permissible for a woman to be made to
marry someone she does not want. The Messenger of
Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
"A previously-married woman should not be married
without being consulted, and a virgin should not be
married without asking her permission." They said, "O
Messenger of Allaah, how is her permission given?" He said,
"By her silence." (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 6455).
`Aa'ishah reported that a girl came to her and said,
"My father married me to his brother's son in order to raise
his social standing, and I did not want this marriage [I
was forced into it]." `Aa'ishah said, "Sit here until the
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) comes.
The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah
be upon him) came and she told him about the girl.
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
sent for her father, then he gave the girl the choice of what
to do. She said, "O Messenger of Allaah, I have
accepted what my father did, but I wanted to prove something
to other women." (Reported by al-Nisaa'i, 3217).
So, both the guardian and the woman must agree to
the marriage. With regard to your request for our
advice regarding the problem mentioned in the question, so
long as this marriage has taken place, it is better for the
woman to try to keep it going as much as she can, and to try
to accept this husband. She should seek reward
through pleasing her parents and also try to reform her
husband through a gentle approach and praying for guidance
for him. And Allaah is the Source of Strength.
Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com)
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4035: Husband and wife converted together; do they
need to do a new marriage contract?
Question:
Some Muslims made da'wah to call a family,
consisting of a husband and wife, to Islam. They embraced
Islam and came together to the Islamic centre to declare
their Islam. Do they have to do a new marriage contract
or not?
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
Ibn Qudaamah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
"Chapter Three: if the husband and wife become
Muslim together, then they keep their original marriage
contract, whether this happens before the marriage is
consummated or after. There is no dispute among the scholars on
this matter, praise be to Allaah.
Ibn `Abd al-Barr mentioned that there is
scholarly consensus on the matter. The reason is that there is
no difference of religion between the spouses. Abu
Dawood reported from Ibn `Abbaas that a man came to declare
his Islam at the time of the Messenger of Allaah (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him), then his wife came
to declare her Islam. [The man] said: `O Messenger
of Allaah, she became Muslim when I did.' So the
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) returned
her to him."
(al-Mughni, part 7, Ahkaam
al-Nikaah).
On the basis of the above, their original marriage
contract is sufficient, and there is no need for them to do a
new one. And Allaah knows best.
Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid
(www.islam-qa.com)
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2803: They want to conceal their marriage
Question:
I am converting to Islam, however I find it difficult to
tell my family..I will do so in time however is it necessary
to announce it officially.
I wish to also become a wife to a man (who already has
a wife and children) for islamic reasons. The difficult
part is also telling his family
Is it necessary to annouce our marriage? As we do
not wish to hurt anyone.
I trust you will be able to guide me as will Allah.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
You do not have to announce your Islam, whether officially or to your family, and it is permissible to keep
it a secret if there is some fear of harm. As for
marriage, however, the sunnah is to announce it, because the
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
said: "Announce marriages." (Reported by Imaam Ahmad
in Musnad `Abd-Allaah ibn al-Zubayr; classed as hasan
in Saheeh al-Jaami', 1072). If a marriage is announced
in one city or location, it need not be announced in
another, but we do not advise you to conceal the news of
your marriage, especially since such news usually
becomes known eventually. This news is likely to be a big
shock to the first wife, so announcing the marriage is in
the interests of all concerned, as it establishes fair and
just treatment for both wives. And Allaah is the Source
of strength.
Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com)
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2256: Marriage according to sharee'ah but not the law
of the land
Question:
If you get married in islamic law but not in the
states eyes, and have relations with the one you married is
that adultury.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
If you get married according to the law of Allaah and
His Messenger, it does not matter if the whole world of
man-made laws disagrees with that. She will be your
legitimate wife and you can have relations with her whenever
you wish _ this is not considered to be haraam or
adulterous. How could it be, when you have married her
according to the sharee'ah and it has become legitimate for you
to have intercourse with her by the word of Allaah!
This ruling is also of benefit to anyone who may wish to
marry more than one woman in countries where polygyny
is forbidden by jaahili man-made law. And Allaah is
the Source of strength.
Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com)
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2527: Who are the women of the People of the Book
whom Muslims are permitted to marry?
Question:
Thanks for answering my question. I want to know
what you mean with marrying a Jew or christian who
should had chastity? Does touching and kissing forbidden
before marriage occurs? I have read in your anwers that you
tell muslim that the woman should be chaste. Is this only
with jew or christian girl or also, muslim woman?
Does touching and kisssing are included when you refer
to chastidy? What should be the advice given to a
muslim boy that thinks touching is necessary before marriage?
I appreciate this to be confidencial. Thanks so much
for helping me.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
Abu Ja'far Muhammad ibn Jareer al-Tabari gave a definition of
muhsanah in Jaami' al-Bayaan `an Ta'weel
Aayi'l-Qur'aan [Qur'an, Quran] (8/165):
"Muhsanah means the woman who is chaste and pure
… one who is chaste and protects her private parts
from committing immoral acts, as in the aayah
(interpretation of the meaning): `And Maryam, the daughter of
`Imraan, who guarded her chastity…' [al-Tahreem
66:12], meaning that she kept herself above suspicious actions
and protected herself from immoral conduct."
Then he discussed the interpretation of the
aayah (interpretation of the meaning): `… (lawful to you
in marriage) are chaste women from the believers and
chaste women from those who were given the Scripture
(Jews and Christians) before your time…'
[al-Maa'idah 5:5]
He said that some others said that what was meant by
this aayah (`… (lawful to you in marriage) are chaste
women from the believers and chaste women from those who
were given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) before
your time…') is chaste women from both groups, whether
they were slaves or free. Those who were of this
opinion considered it permissible to marry slave women who
were Jews or Christians who practised their religions,
because of this aayah, but they considered it haraam to
marry promiscuous women, whether they were Muslims or
from the People of the Book. Then he mentioned reports
to support this opinion.
He also said: `There was some dispute among the
scholars about the interpretation of the phrase
and chaste women from those who were given the Scripture (Jews
and Christians) before your time…- was this general
or specific in application? Some said that it is general
and applies to all chaste women, because
muhsanaat means chaste women, and a Muslim is allowed to marry
any woman of the People of the Book, free or slave, from
a country whose people are engaged in hostilities with
Islam or from a community which is living under Islamic
rule. They use as evidence for this the apparent meaning of
the phrase and chaste women from those who were given
the Scripture (Jews and Christians) before your time…
- taking muhsanaat to mean any chaste woman,
whoever she may be. This is the opinion of those who
take muhsanaat to mean "chaste women" in this context.
Others say that it refers only to the women of Jewish
and Christian communities who are living under Islamic
rule. As regards those living in regions that are hostile to
Islam, Muslims are not permitted to marry such women.
He mentions an important condition for marrying
a woman of the People of the Book, which every
Muslim who wants to marry such a woman in a
non-Muslim country should pay attention to. This condition is that
he should be in a position where he is not afraid that
his child will be forced into kufr.
One of the obvious implications of this in our time is
that a Muslim should not put himself in a position where
he will be forced to raise his child as a kaafir in a
non-Muslim country, where a child may be forced to study
something about Christianity, for example, or he may be taken
to church on Sundays, or the law may be on the side of
the non-Muslim woman, allowing her to take her
child wherever she wants and raise him in her family's
religion, etc. We ask Allaah to keep us safe from all that and
we seek refuge with Him from being forsaken.
Shaykh al-Sa'di said in his Tafseer (commentary on
the Qur'aan [Qur'an, Quran]), 1/458:
"`… (lawful to you in marriage) are chaste
women _ i.e., free and chaste - from the believers and chaste women
_free and chaste - from those who were given the
Scripture (Jews and Christians) before your
time…' i.e., from among the Jews and Christians. This is adding
specific details to the aayah (interpretation of the meaning):
`And do not marry al-mushrikaat (idolatresses, etc.) till
they believe (worship Allaah alone)…'
[al-Baqarah 2:221]."
As for promiscuous women, those who do not keep themselves chaste and free from immoral sexual
conduct, it is not permitted to marry them, whether they
are Muslims or from among the People of the Book
(Jews and Christians), unless they repent, because Allaah
says (interpretation of the meaning): "Let no man guilty
of fornication or adultery marry any but a woman
similarly guilty, or an unbeliever: nor let any but such a man or
an unbeliever marry such a woman: to the Believers such
a thing is forbidden." [al-Noor 24:3]
And Allaah knows best.
Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com)
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2627: Committed zinaa with a non-Muslim woman who
has now become Muslim, and he wants to marry her
Question:
A salamou alaykom wa rahmatou allahi wa
barakatouhou, I am Muslim, Morrocan and have been studying in
xxx for 5 years. During my study, I met a chinese girl and
fell in love with her for 2 years. I have to say that I
commited zinna with her often. Few months ago, she converted
to islam and now I really want to marry her ala sunnati
allahi wa rasoulihi. Am I allowed to do so? Is there any
special procedure? Jazakomou allahou khayran.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"And come not near to the unlawful sexual intercourse (zinaa).
Verily it is a faahishah (a great sin) and an evil way."
[al-Israa' 17:32]
Ibn Katheer (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
"Allaah says, forbidding His slaves to commit zinaa, to
approach it or to put themselves in situations that may lead to it
or tempt them to it: `And come not near to the
unlawful sexual intercourse. Verily it is a
faahishah' i.e., a great sin, and `an evil
way' i.e., a bad way of behaving."
Imaam Ahmad said: "Yazeed ibn Haaroon told us
that Jareer told us that Saleem ibn `Aamir told us, from
Abu Umaamah that a young man came to the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said:
`O Messenger of Allaah, grant me permission to
commit zinaa.' The people turned to him and told him off,
saying, `Ssh!' The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) said: `Come closer,' so he came closer. He told
him, `Sit down,' so he sat down. He asked him, `Would
you like this for your mother?' He said, `No, by Allaah,
O Messenger of Allaah. May Allaah cause me to be sacrificed for you!' He said: `No people would like it
for their mothers.' He asked him, `Would you like this
for your daughter?' He said, `No, by Allaah, O Messenger
of Allaah. May Allaah cause me to be sacrificed for
you!' He said: `No people would like it for their daughters.'
He asked him, `Would you like this for your sister?' He
said, `No, by Allaah, O Messenger of Allaah. May Allaah
cause me to be sacrificed for you!' He said: `No people
would like it for their sisters.' He asked him, `Would you
like this for your paternal aunt?' He said, `No, by Allaah,
O Messenger of Allaah. May Allaah cause me to be sacrificed for you!' He said: `No people would like it
for their paternal aunts.' He asked him, `Would you like
this for your maternal aunt?' He said, `No, by Allaah,
O Messenger of Allaah. May Allaah cause me to be sacrificed for you!' He said: `No people would like it
for their maternal aunts.' The Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) put his hand on him and said:
`O Allaah, forgive him his sin, purify his heart and
make him chaste.' After that, the young man never paid
attention to anything of that nature."
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"And those who invoke not any other god along with Allaah, not
kill such life as Allaah has forbidden, except for just
cause, nor commit illegal sexual intercourse _ and whoever
does this shall receive the punishment. The torment shall
be doubled to him on the Day of Resurrection, and he
will abide therein in disgrace; except those who repent
and believe, and do righteous deeds, for those, Allaah
will change their sins into good deeds, and Allaah is
Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. And whosoever repents
and does righteous good deeds, then verily, he repents
towards Allaah with sincere repentance." [al-Furqaan 25:68-71]
It is not permitted for a man guilty of zinaa to marry
a woman who is similarly guilty unless both of them
repent sincerely to Allaah, may be He be glorified, so that
they will no longer be described as being guilty of zinaa.
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): "Let no man
guilty of adultery or fornication marry any but a
woman similarly guilty, or an unbeliever: not let any but a
such a man or an unbeliever marry such a woman: to
the Believers, such a thing is forbidden." [al-Noor 24:3]
So you must repent sincerely to Allaah, and follow
this kabeerah (major sin) with many good deeds, so that
Allaah may forgive you. If you are both sincere in your
repentance and adhere to the laws of Allaah from now on, there
is nothing wrong with your marrying her. Allaah
forgives the one who repents.
Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid
(www.islam-qa.com)
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689: Muslim marrying a Catholic who doesn't convert
to Islam
Question:
Can a Muslim marry a Roman Catholic without the
person converting to Islam?
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
If a Muslim wants to marry a Christian woman, she
does not have to become Muslim first, because of the
general statement in the Qur'aan [Qur'an, Quran] (interpretation of the meaning):
"Made lawful to you this day are . . . chaste women
from those who were given the Scripture (Jews and
Christians) before your time . . ." [al-Maa'idah 5:5].
The conditions for a non-Muslim woman to marry
a Muslim man are that she should be of the People of
the Book (Jewish or Christian) and that she should be chaste.
We remind the Muslims living outside the Muslim
world that they should not rush into taking such a step, and
if they wish to do so, they should think long and hard,
even though marrying a woman of the People of the Book
is permitted in principle. There is a very real possibility
of the children becoming Christian, especially in
countries where the law favours the non-Muslim mother. In
fact many such tragedies have occurred. We ask Allaah
to guide us all and give us strength. May Allaah bless
our Prophet Muhammad.
Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com)
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649: Marriage after committing fornication (zinaa)
Question:
Can a man/women who is sexually involved before
they are married, atone for their sins by getting married to
the same person?
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
If both partners repent to Allaah, and the woman is
not pregnant, then they are permitted to marry one another.
See also question #33.
Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com)
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2127: Conditions of walee (guardian)
Question:
What exactly constitutes a guardian, as is needed in
the nikkah ceremony. I am a female Muslim, and I want
to know if my older brother is acceptable for this role.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
There are three pillars or conditions for the
marriage contract in Islam:
Both parties should be free of any obstacles that
might prevent the marriage from being valid, such as their
being mahrams of one another (i.e., close relatives who
are permanently forbidden to marry), whether this
relationship is through blood ties or through breastfeeding
(radaa') etc., or where the man is a kaafir (non-Muslim) and
the woman is a Muslim, and so on.
There should be an offer or proposal
(eejaab) from the walee or the person who is acting in his place, who
should say to the groom "I marry so-and-so to you" or
similar words.
There should be an expression of acceptance
(qabool) on the part of the groom or whoever is acting in his
place, who should say, "I accept," or similar words.
The conditions of a proper nikaah (marriage contract)
are as follows:
Both the bride and groom should be clearly
identified, whether by stating their names or describing them, etc.
Both the bride and groom should be pleased with
one another, because the Prophet (peace and blessings
of Allaah be upon him) said: "No previously-married
woman (widow or divorcee) may be married until she has
been asked about her wishes (i.e., she should state clearly
her wishes), and no virgin should be married until
her permission has been asked (i.e., until she has agreed
either in words or by remaining silent)." They asked,
"O Messenger of Allaah, how is her permission
given (because she will feel very shy)?" He said: "By
her silence." (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 4741)
The one who does the contract on the woman's
behalf should be her walee, as Allaah addressed the walees
with regard to marriage (interpretation of the meaning):
"And marry those among you who are
single…" [al-Noor 24:32] and because the Prophet (peace and blessings
of Allaah be upon him) said: "Any woman who
marries without the permission of her walee, her marriage
is invalid, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is
invalid." (Reported by al-Tirmidhi, 1021 and others; it is a
saheeh hadeeth)
The marriage contract must be witnessed, as the
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
"There is no marriage contract except with a walee and
two witnesses." (Reported by al-Tabaraani; see also
Saheeh al-Jaami', 7558)
It is also important that the marriage be announced,
as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) said: "Announce marriages." (Reported by
Imaam Ahmad; classed as hasan in Saheeh
al-Jaami', 1027)
The conditions of the walee are as follows:
He should be of sound mind
He should be an adult
He should be free (not a slave)
He should be of the same religion as the bride. A
kaafir cannot be the walee of a Muslim, male or female, and
a Muslim cannot be the walee of a kaafir, male or
female, but a kaafir can be the walee of a kaafir woman
for marriage purposes, even if they are of different
religions. An apostate (one who has left Islam) cannot be a
walee for anybody.
He should be of good character (`adaalah _ includes
piety, attitude, conduct, etc.), as opposed to being corrupt.
This is a condition laid down by some scholars, although
some of them regard the outward appearance of good
character as being sufficient, and some say that it is enough if he
is judged as being able to pay proper attention to the
interests of the woman for whom he is acting as walee in the
matter of her marriage.
He should be male, as the Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "No woman may
conduct the marriage contract of another woman, and no
woman can conduct the marriage contract on behalf of her
own self, because the zaaniyah (fornicatress, adulteress) is
the one who arranges things on her own behalf."
(Reported by Ibn Maajah, 1782; see also Saheeh
al-Jaami', 7298)
He should be wise and mature (rushd), which means
being able to understand matters of compatibility and
the interests of marriage.
The fuqahaa' put possible walees in a certain order, and
a walee who is more closely-related should not be
ignored unless there is no such person or the relatives do not
meet the specified conditions. A woman's walee is her
father, then whoever her father may have appointed before
his death, then her paternal grandfather or
great-grandfather, then her son, then her grandfathers sons or
grandsons, then her brother through both parents (full brother),
then her brother through her father, then the sons of her
brother through both parents, then the sons of her brother
through her father, then her uncle (her father's brother
through both parents), then her father's brother through the
father, then the sons of her father's brother though both
parents, then the sons of her father's brother through the
father, then whoever is more closely related, and so on _ as
is the case with inheritance. The Muslim leader (or
his deputy, such as a qaadi or judge) is the walee for
any woman who does not have a walee of her own.
And Allaah knows best.
Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com)
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1018: Non-Muslim Proposing to Muslim Woman
Question:
Assalam O Alaikum
I am a muslim. My sister has been proposed to by a
man who is christian. She has agreed and they are now
planning to get married. The man is willing to convert to Islam.
I dont know what to do. Do I have any rights to resist
this marriage? My parents are totally against this
marriage and are deeply concerned, mainly due to the fact that
the man is from a different culture and is not a relative.
Please advise me on what to do as I am very
confused and time is running out very fast. I will await your
reply anxiously.
Thankyou.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
It is not permissible for your sister to marry this man
unless two conditions are fulfilled:
He must enter Islam.
Your father must agree because he is her guardian who
is responsible for arranging her marriage.
If either of these conditions are not fulfilled, then try
to stop this evil from happening, whatever it takes.
And Allaah is the source of strength.
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1493: Ruling on marrying young women
Question:
I need to know, when did the Holy Prophet get married
to Hazrat Aisha, there have been claims on newsgroups
that the Holy Prophet was a pedophile. I want
enough information to be able to answer such allegations.
I need to know everything about this particular
marriage, quoting sources.
Wa-alaikum
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
The answer to your question may be found in the ahaadeeth of Saheeh al-Bukhaari and the commentary
of al-Haafiz al-`Asqallaani, which are quoted below:
`Aa'ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said:
"The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) married me when I was six years old. Then we came
to Madeenah and stayed in Bani al-Haarith ibn Khazraj.
I fell ill and my hair started to fall out (due to the
illness; then it grew back thick again). My mother Umm
Roomaan came to me whilst I was on a swing and my friends
were with me. She shouted for me and I came to her,
not knowing what she wanted. She took me by the hand
and led me to the door of the house. I was out of breath
and we waited until I had calmed down, then she took
some water and wiped my face and head, then took me
inside. There were some women of the Ansaar in the house,
and they said: " `Alaa al-khayri wa'l-baraka wa `ala
khayri taa'ir (blessings, best wishes, etc)." My mother
handed me over to them and they tidied me up, then suddenly
the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah
be upon him) was there. It was mid-morning, and they
handed me over to him. At that time I was nine years old."
(Reported by al-Bukhaari, 3605).
`Urwah said: "Khadeejah died three years before
the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) migrated to Madeenah. He stayed alone for two years
or thereabouts, then he married `Aa'ishah when she was
six years old, and consummated the marriage when she
was nine years old." (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 3607)
The phrase "he married `Aa'ishah" means that
the marriage contract was drawn up; the marriage
was consummated later on, when she was nine.
Muslim reports from al-Zuhri, from `Urwah, that `Aa'ishah said that she was taken to him when she
was nine years old, and she took her toys with her. He
died when she was eighteen years old. Muslim also reports
a similar account from `Aa'ishah via al-Aswad. He
reports from `Abdullaah ibn `Urwah from his father
that `Aa'ishah said: "The Messenger of Allaah (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him) married me in
Shawwaal and consummated the marriage with me in Shawwaal."
`Aa'ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said that
the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) married her when she was six years old and
consummated the marriage when she was nine years old, and she
stayed with him for nine years." (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 4738)
Al-Bukhaari calls this chapter of his Saheeh "Baab
inkaah al-rajul wuldahu (or waladahu) al-sighaar (Chapter on
a man marrying off his young children)." The fact
that Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
". . . and for those who have no courses [periods]
[(i.e., they are still immature) their `iddah is three
months likewise, except in case of death] . .
." [al-Talaaq 65:4]
is an indication that it is permissible to marry girls
below the age of adolescence. This is a good understanding,
but the aayah makes no specific mention of either the
father or the young girl. It could be said that the basic
principle concerning marrying children is that it is forbidden
unless there is specific evidence (daleel) to indicate
otherwise. The hadeeth of `Aa'ishah states that her father Abu
Bakr married her off before the age of puberty, but there is
no other evidence apart from that, so the rule applies to
all other cases.
Al- Muhallab said: "[The scholars] agreed that it
is permissible for a father to marry off his young
virgin daughter, even though it is not usually the case to
have intercourse with such a young woman."
(The above was summarized from Fath al-Baari
Sharh `ala Saheeh al-Bukhaari)
In summary, then, it is permitted to contract marriage
with a young girl and to hand her over to her husband to
stay with him before she reaches adolescence. As
for consummating the marriage, this does not happen
until she is physically able for it. Thus the matter becomes
quite clear. Do you see anything wrong with a man living
with his young wife in one house, bringing her up and
teaching her, but delaying consummation until she is ready for
it? We ask Allaah to show us truth and falsehood and to
make each clear. And Allaah knows best.
Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid
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661: Marriage contract without witnesses must be repeated
Question:
Is a person married to another if they both say "We
accept each other as man and wife, having Allah as our
witness," with no other witnesses present, and later having
a celebration, telling everyone that they are married?
Answer:
Praise be to Allah.
The Prophet (Peace & Blessings of Allaah be upon
Him) said: "There is no marriage without a wali (guardian)
and two witnesses." (It is a saheeh hadith because
of corroborating reports: Irwa' al-Ghaleel, no. 1858).
Imam al-Tirmidhi, may Allah have mercy on him,
said: "The correct opinion is that narrated from Ibn
`Abbas, who said that there is no marriage without
clear evidence… Acting in accordance with that, the
scholars among the Companions of the Prophet (Peace &
Blessings of Allaah be upon Him) and the Taabi`een and others
who followed them said that there is no marriage
without witnesses. (Jaami` al-Tirmidhi, 4/235).
If the couple referred to in the question did not follow
the above, they must repeat the marriage, this time with
a guardian and two witnesses.
And Allah knows best.
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389: Wali of Muslimah if her parents are kuffaar
Question:
Assalaammu'alaikum,
I come from a muslim family and was brought up
with Islamic faith. Although, I have been through a stage
in my life which I call the "dark stage" of my life, in
which I was involved with "jahiliyah" practices for some
years (yes, those irresponsible and sinful acts).
Alhamdulillah Allah has blessed me with guidance and brought me
to His straight path again. Since that time, I have been
having a relationship with a christian girlfriend,
who Alhamdulillah has accepted Islam just recently, by
Allah's will. We plan to be wedded soon after we are settled.
One problem is that she comes from a devout Christian
family, not to mention her father being a christian priest.
Ever since her family found out about our involvement,
they have tried almost everything to part us, we haven't
told them about my girlfriend's conversion though. Right
now, our relationship has reached a point where she is
willing to oppose her family and runaway from them
eventually. Even though we know it will be hard to go through,
my girlfriend and I really love each other. As I
understand, the Islamic law requires that in marriage, a woman
should be accompanied by a "wali", which to my
knowledge, should come from her family. My first question, can
our plan to marry without her family's consent be
in accordance with Islamic law?
And second, if it can, who can be her "wali?", since
not one of her family member agree with our relationship.
Thank you, assalaammu'alaikum.
Answer:
Al-hamdu lillaah.
First, I offer thanks to Allaah for his grace in having
guided you to the path of truth after experiencing a dark
journey through `jahiliyyah', a journey into ignorance
and meaninglessness. Allaah guides to his truth
whomever he wills. At this point of your life, as an expression
of gratitude for Allaah's blessing, you should carry out
your duties towards him and desist from the actions that
gain his wrath. In fact, Allaah, at this point in your life,
must take priority over everything else. You further ought
to make up for what you missed in the previous part of
your life, to double your efforts in performing worship and
to haste in doing good deeds.
Secondly, since this lady in question has converted
to Islam, thanks to Allaah, none of her kaafir family
members can act as a guardian (wali) of her interests; no kaafir
can act in this capacity over a Muslim. If there is a
Muslim with some authority in your area over the affairs of
the Muslim community, then he can act in this capacity,
based on the Prophet's (peace be upon him) hadeeth:
"No marriage contract can be concluded without
the presence of a Wali. A Sultan (authority figure) can act
as a Wali for those without one." (see Ibn Majah and
Imam Ahmad, Hadith number 1880; also in Salih
al-Jaami', hadeeth number 7556.)
If there is no authoritative Muslim person, then one
should refer to the community Muslim leader or any Muslim
who is just (`aadil), respected, and of high character, such
as the director of the Islamic center or its imam, to
conclude the marriage contract of this sister, with her consent.
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1077: A man accepting Islam can remain married
to Christian wife
Question:
I have been considering accepting Islam for a number
of years now. However, I am married to a devout
Mormon (LDS) woman, and have ... children, whom I
have promised to raise in her religion.
My question has two parts:
First, what is the position of a man accepting Islam
with a Christian wife, and practicing Islam independently
of her, and
Second, what of a promise to raise my children in
a religion other than Islam. Obviously, I would seek
to expose them to Islam, but I am wondering about
things such as supporting her desire to have them attend
her church, etc.Thanks very much, (name witheld).
Answer:
Dear (name witheld),
As-salaamu `ala man ittaba'a al-huda (peace be upon
those who follow the true guidance). I was delighted to learn
of your serious consideration and possible intention to
accept the Islamic religion. No doubt that step would be
the greatest thing in the entire NN years of your life.
This step is the one that will protect you from the
everlasting punishment of Hell and open to you the path to
Heaven after death and will result in success and happiness
in this life and the hereafter. I advise you to hasten
with your decision and do not hesitate and postpone. You
seem to me to be of sound wisdom that will lead you the
path of truth by the will of God (Allaah).
As for your first question, it is permissible in the
Islamic religion for a Muslim to marry a woman from the
People of the Book (Christain or Jew) if she is chaste (i.e.
of high moral character) and virtuous, as Allaah has
stated in the noble Qur'aan [Qur'an, Quran] (interpretation of the meaning
of verse number 5 in the chapter entitled "Al-Maa'ida,"
The Table):
"This day are (all) things Good and pure made
lawful unto you. The food of the People of the Book is
lawful unto you and yours is lawful unto them. (Lawful
unto you in marriage) are (not only) chaste women who
are believers, but chaste women among the People of
the Book, revealed before your time, when you give
them their due dowers, and desire chastity, not lewdness,
nor secret intrigues (girlfriends or lovers)..."
Based on this verse, your marriage contract will
remain valid if you accept Islaam and become a Muslim, and
it will not require renewal. Your remaining with your
current wife is permissible as long as she is virtuous and
chaste in marriage.
As for your second question, the child in Islamic law
must follow the Muslim among his or her parents, and it is
the Muslim parent's right and responsibility to ensure his
or her proper upbringing, guidance, and supervision.
Your statement that you would seek to expose your children
to Islaam is a wise and judicious foresight. And we
hope that with the passing of time that they will be
convinced of this religion and implement it in their lives.
No doubt that you will face some difficulty in
convincing your wife to raise your children in the Islamic
religion considering the promise you have made to her.
However, the use of wisdom and gentle judgment will aid you,
God willing, in overcoming this difficulty. This is
important especially considering that it is expected that you
will exert a concentrated effort in inviting your wife to
Islam, since if she accepts it, the problem will be solved from
its roots.
In any case, and no matter what the results, the first
step towards success will be your accepting the religion
of Islaam yourself. We pray to God (Allaah) the
Almighty and Magnificent that He eases your affairs and brings
you success in finding the path of truth and that he
guides your entire famliy to Islam.
I would be more than happy to dicuss any other
questions or concerns you may have. Salaam. Peace.
Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid
(www.islam-qa.com)
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60: Woman's right to refuse marriage to someone
Question:
I have a question for my friend. She is 17 years old
and they just moved here from their home country and
her guardians and mom want her to marry her cousin
who lived in their same house back home but this girl
really refuses to marry him because she dislikes for some
reason and she is begging and crying in front of her mother
not to make her marry him. This girl is saying she will not
be happy with him
My question is does any girl have the RIGHT to say
no for her marriage if she does not like the man? This girl
is Islamic and going to school and she doesn't know
anybody to talk to but she really doesn't want to marry him
and her mother is utterly pressuring her by telling her she
will die and she will be destroyed if she doesn't marry
this guy and her mother is telling her that nobody will
marry her because she is not beautiful and rich.
Sorry it was long question but please reply me as soon
as possible.
Answer:
Al-hamdu lillah (praise be to Allah). This situation
about which this sister is asking is a common one and
occurs often as a result of a clash of desires between parents
and their daughter. It could be for a benefit or interest
the mother or father sees and the young woman doesn't,
and each regards the issue from a different perspective or
with a particular consideration. And perhaps the opinion
of the parents is the appropriate and correct one as a
result of their prior trials and longer experience in life,
and perhaps the woman sometimes looks to the
appearance of the groom more than anything else, whereas the
parents may look to other considerations, such as his family
status, or his long-term career or employment. Of course
none of this means that the woman's opinion isn't
sometimes more correct and preferable, particularly when the
opinion of the parents stems from a benefit they may realize if
the marriage is accomplished, and they do not actually
make the priority their daughter who is the most important
thing in this issue. And while being vigilant in advising you
of the importance of obeying one's parents and
struggling with oneself to realize their wishes and desires and
giving their opinion the priority, the point must clearly be
made that the following two hadeeth from the Prophet
(peace be upon him) must be abided by and carried out, as
within them are the complete answer to your question
and questions from others in similar situations:
The first hadeeth:
If he whose character and deen (practice of
religion) pleases you, approaches you in marriage, then marry
him, for if you don't, their will be fitna in the land and
vast corruption. (Tirmidhi and others, see Sunan
Tirmidhi #1085 and it is hassan (reliable) as per Sahih
ul-Jaami' #270). ("fitna" here can be understood to refer to
the temptation for fornication, enmity and the cutting off
of relations among the people and relatives, and
the spreading of hatred)
The second:
Buraida (may Allah be pleased with him) said that a
young woman came to the Prophet (peace be upon him)
and said, "My father married me to his brother's son (i.e.
her cousin) in order to raise his standing among the
people," so the Prophet (peace be upon him) put the matter in
her hands (i.e. asserted that the validity of the marriage
is conditioned on her approval and negated by her
refusal). So she said, "I authorize and endorse what he has
done but I wanted women to know that fathers cannot
force their will in these matters."
And it was narrated by Nisaa'I via Abdullah ibn
Buraida via Aa'isha that a young woman came to her and
said, "My father married me to his brother's son in order
to raise his standing among the people and I am
unwilling (to agree to it)", so she said, "Sit until the Prophet
(peace be upon him) comes." So the Prophet (peace be
upon him) came and she informed him of the situation, so
he sent for her father and invited him (over) and
asserted that the matter is in the bride's hands. So she said,
"Oh Prophet of Allah I have authorized and endorsed
what my father has done, but I wanted to know if women had
a say in the matter or not." (Sunan al-Nisaa'I, Kitaab
al-Nikaah min Sunanihi and it is sahih).
I ask Allah for you success and guidance to that in
which there is blessings for you and your family, and may
the peace and blessings of Allah be upon our
Prophet Muhammad .
Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com)
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