Chapter 1
Transactions
Divorce
36580: He pronounced divorce three times but the
qaadi wrote it down as one divorce. The `iddah has now
ended and he wants to take her back
Question:
I divorced my wife about eight years ago. When I
asked the qaadi to record the divorce I said: "I divorce my
wife So and so the daughter of So and so three times." When
I did that I knew what he had written down because I
am an educated man, but when the scribe wrote it down
in the records, he wrote it as one divorce. This gave my
wife the hope that I would take her back and she has
not remarried until now… Now I want to take her back,
and her family also wants that.
Should I go against my intention and proceed on the
basis of what is written in the records or not?.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
The scholars differed concerning the ruling on one
who divorces his wife by saying "I divorce you thrice".
The majority of scholars are of the view that this means
that divorce has taken place three times; others are of the
view that divorce takes place only once.
Shaykh `Abd al-`Azeez ibn Baaz (may Allaah have
mercy on him) was asked:
A man divorced his wife by saying "I divorce you
thrice"; what is the ruling on that?
He replied:
If a man divorces his wife three times with one
word, such as saying, "You are thrice divorced", the majority
of scholars are of the view that the woman is indeed
thrice divorced and becomes forbidden for her husband
until she has been married to another man in a serious
marriage in which the new husband has intercourse with her
and they only separate as a result of death or divorce, not
a tahleel marriage (i.e., a marriage of convenience
aimed at making it permissible for her to remarry her
former husband).
They quoted as evidence for that the fact that `Umar
ibn al-Khattaab (may Allaah be pleased with him)
counted such a divorce as being three and judged among
people accordingly.
Other scholars were of the view that this is to be
regarded as a single divorce, and the husband may take her back
so long as the `iddah has not yet ended. If the `iddah
has ended then she may marry him with a new
marriage contract. They quoted as evidence for that the
report narrated in Saheeh Muslim from Ibn `Abbaas (may
Allaah be pleased with him) who said: "At the time of
the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah
be upon him), the time of Abu Bakr (may Allaah be
pleased with him) and the first two years of the caliphate of
`Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him), a threefold
divorce was counted as one. `Umar said: "People are being
hasty with regard to a matter in which they should not rush.
Let us count it as three and judge between people
accordingly ." According to another report narrated by Muslim:
Abu'l-Sahba' said to Ibn `Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased
with them): "Was not three counted as one at the time of
the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah
be upon him) and the time of Abu Bakr (may Allaah
be pleased with him) and the first three years of the time
of `Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him)?" He said: "Yes,"
They also quote as evidence the report narrated by
Imam Ahmad in al-Musnad with a jayyid isnaad from
Ibn `Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him), that
Abu Rakaanah divorced his wife by saying "I divorce
you thrice", then he regretted it, so the Prophet (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him) returned her to him
with one word and said, "This is only one (divorce)."
This hadeeth and the one before it are to be understood
as referring to divorcing by saying "I divorce you thrice",
in order to reconcile these two hadeeths and the verse
in which Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"The divorce is twice"
[al-Baqarah 2:229]
"And if he has divorced her (the third time), then she
is not lawful unto him thereafter until she has
married another husband. Then, if the other husband divorces
her, it is no sin on both of them that they reunite,
provided they feel that they can keep the limits ordained by
Allaah. These are the limits of Allaah, which He makes plain
for the people who have knowledge"
[al-Baqarah 2:230]
This was the view of Ibn `Abbaas (may Allaah be
pleased with him) according to a saheeh report narrated from
him; according to the other report narrated from him he
shared the view of the majority. The view that they should
be regarded as one divorce was narrated from `Ali, `Abd
al-Rahmaan ibn `Awf and al-Zubayr ibn al-`Awwaam
(may Allaah be pleased with them).
This was also the view of a number of the
Taabi'een, Muhammad ibn Ishaaq the author of
al-Seerah, and a number of the earlier and later scholars. It was also
the view favoured by Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah and
his student Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on
them). This is also my view, because that is following all of
the texts, and because it is also more merciful and kind to
the Muslims.
Fataawa Islamiyyah, 3/281, 282.
It seems that the qaadi was also of this view, which is
that the threefold divorce counts as one divorce. Based
on this there is nothing wrong with taking her back.
But after the `iddah is over you cannot take her
back, rather you have to make a new marriage contract
with her.
With regard to taking her back after the `iddah is over
_ i.e., after three menstrual cycles _ this is not valid,
because once a woman's `iddah is completed she becomes
a "stranger" for her husband and she is not permissible
for him except with a new marriage contract.
Fataawa Islamiyyah, 3/293. And Allaah knows best.
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47335: Her husband drinks alcohol; should she stay
with him?
Question:
My sister is married to a man who drinks alcohol and
is virtually addicted to it. He also stays up at night a
great deal. She got tired of advising him and asking him
to give it up, and he refused to do so. Is it permissible
for her to live with him knowing that she has two
children from him. She is in another Arab country and is
suffering from loneliness. What do you advise her to do, may
Allaah reward you?.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah. Firstly: we ask Allaah to help
your sister to deal with this calamity and to bring her
relief, and to guide her husband to give up this major sin
in which he is persisting.
With regard to the ruling on her staying with him, it
is permissible for her to do so if she is certain that she
and her children will be safe.
Shaykh Ibn `Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on
him) said: I think that if she has advised him and he has
not responded, then she has the right to ask for an
annulment of the marriage. But there may be reasons why she
cannot annul the marriage, because she has children
and annulment may cause further problems. If his sin
does not reach the level of kufr, then there is no sin on her
if she stays with him for fear of evil consequences. But
if his sin reaches the level of kufr, such as if he does
not pray, then she should not stay with him a second longer.
Al-Liqa' al-Maftooh, Q. 518.
Secondly: Our advice to her is that she should weigh
up what is in her best interests, and consult her family
and relatives, who know her situation best. Then she
should ask Allaah's guidance (by praying istikhaarah), for
Allaah will never let her down. As the report says: No one
loses by praying istikhaarah and no one regrets
consulting others. Whether she chooses to annul the marriage or
to stay, let her accept what Allaah has decreed for her
and be patient and seek reward. Allaah says (interpretation
of the meaning):
"but give glad tidings to As Saabiroon (the
patient)" [al-Baqarah 2:155]
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49719: Their father is senile and divorced their mother
_ did divorce really take place? And should they put him in
a home for the elderly?
Question:
My father is bedridden and very sick; sometimes he
does not know what he is saying, and at other times we
find that he is very focused and can calculate money. He
often insults religion and has weak eyesight and cannot hear
at all. Often he urinates in the bed then throws his urine
on the floor, then when we come and ask him, sometimes
he denies it and sometimes he does it to annoy us and
force us to wipe it up. One time my mother did wudoo' then
he called her, so she went to him, and he threw urine at
her. She told him off and he said: "I am going to divorce
you." A little while later he said, "You are divorced." What
about this divorce? How should we deal with this father who
is now in a very bad state and we cannot bear it. Can we
put him in a home for the elderly?.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
It seems from what your father is doing that he has
reached the stage of senility, at which the obligations of
sharee'ah are waived, so he is not expected to pray or fast, and
any vows, oaths or words of divorce spoken by him are invalid.
If you can be patient and put up with the things he
does, then you should do that. If you cannot bear it, then
there is nothing wrong with you taking him to a home that
takes care of the elderly, on condition that you carry
on honouring him and visiting him, and meeting his
physical and emotional needs as much as you can.
You should note that Allaah has enjoined
honouring parents, especially when they reach old age, because
of their great need at that time. Allaah has
forbidden mistreating parents in word or deed, even by saying
"Uff" (a mild expression of displeasure).
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"And your Lord has decreed that you worship none
but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one
of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not
to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but
address them in terms of honour
And lower unto them the wing of submission and
humility through mercy, and say: `My Lord! Bestow on them
Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was young.'"
[al-Isra' 17:23]
Shaykh `Abd al-Rahmaan al-Sa'di said:
Then after mentioning His rights, Allaah mentions
the rights of parents and says, "And that you be dutiful
to your parents" i.e., you should treat them kindly in all
ways, in word and deed, because they are the reason why
a person exists and because they love their child and
treat him kindly, which confirms that the child in turn is
obliged to treat them kindly.
"If one of them or both of them attain old age in
your life" means, if they reach the age at which they grow
weak and need kindness and good treatment,
"say not to them a word of disrespect": the word "uff" is the least kind
of offensive speech, and what is meant is do not
mistreat them in the slightest.
"Nor shout at them" means, do not rebuke them or
speak to them in a disrespectful manner. "But address them
in terms of honour" means, in a polite, gentle and
kind manner, which will soften their hearts and give them
peace of mind. That varies according to circumstances,
customs and times.
"And lower unto them the wing of submission and
humility through mercy" means, be humble towards them
and compassionate, seeking reward thereby, not because
you are afraid of them or hope for what they have and
other motives for which a person will not be rewarded.
"And say: `My Lord! Bestow on them Your
Mercy" means: pray for Allaah's mercy for them during their lifetime
and after they have died, in return for their having
brought you up when you were young.
From this it may be understood that the more time
spent in looking after their child, the greater their rights.
Also, whoever takes care of raising a person and teaching
him properly about his religious and worldly affairs
instead of his parents has similar rights over the one whom
he raised.
Tafseer al-Sa'di, p. 407, 408
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47040: Man divorcing his wife on his parents' orders
Question:
What is the shar'i ruling on a man divorcing his
wife when his parents tell him to, on the grounds that this
wife used to work for them as a servant in the past? Is
this regarded as disobeying one's parents? Please note
that this wife currently lives an honourable life.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
Undoubtedly the parents are those who are most
deserving of respect, obedience and kind treatment. Allaah
mentions the command to treat parents well alongside the
command to worship Him as He says (interpretation of the meaning):
"And your Lord has decreed that you worship none
but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents"
[al-Isra' 17:23]
Obedience to parents is obligatory on the child with
regard to that which will benefit them and will not harm the
child. With regard to that which does not bring them any
benefits or which will cause harm to the child, he does not have
to obey them in that case.
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have
mercy on him) said in al-Ikhtiyaaraat (p. 114): A person
is obliged to obey his parents with regard to that which
is not sinful, even if they are immoral evildoers… This
has to do with that which is beneficial for them and
not harmful to him. End quote.
Divorce with no acceptable reason is something that
is hated by Allaah, because it destroys the blessings
of marriage and exposes the family to destruction and
the children to loss. It may also involve injustice towards
the woman. The fact that the wife had been a servant in
the past is not a legitimate reason for divorce, especially
if she is religiously-committed and has a good attitude.
Based on this, he does not have to obey his parents
and divorce his wife, and that is not regarded as
being disobedient towards them. But the son should
express his refusal to divorce her in a kind and gentle
manner, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at
them but address them in terms of honour
[al-Isra' 17:23]
Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih ibn `Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) was asked about the
ruling on a man divorcing his wife if his father tells him to
do that. He said:
If the father tells his son to divorce his wife, one of
the following two scenarios must apply:
1 _ Where the father gives a legitimate reason why
he should divorce her and separate from her, such as
saying, Divorce your wife because her behaviour is
suspicious, such as she flirts with men or goes out to gatherings
that are not decent and so on. In this case the son should
agree and divorce her, because he is not telling her to
divorce her on the basis of a whim, rather that is to protect
his son's honour from being besmirched, so he should
divorce her.
2 _ Where the father tells his son to divorce his
wife because the son loves her, but the father feels jealous
of his son's love for her and the mother is more
jealous, because many mothers, when they see that their son
loves his wife, feel very jealous, as if the son's wife is a
co-wife and rival. We ask Allaah to keep us safe and
sound. In this case the son does not have to divorce his wife
if his father or mother tells her to divorce her. Rather
he should be tactful with them and keep his wife, and
he should try to convince them with kind words until
they are persuaded that she should stay with him, especially
if the wife is religiously committed and has a good attitude.
Imam Ahmad (may Allaah have mercy on him) was
asked about this very issue. A man came and said: "My father
is telling me to divorce my wife." Imam Ahmad said to
him: "Do not divorce her." He said: "Didn't the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) tell Ibn `Umar
to divorce his wife when `Umar told him to do that?"
He said: "Is your father like `Umar?"
If the father quotes evidence to his son and says, "O
my son, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) told `Abd-Allaah ibn `Umar to divorce his wife
when his father `Umar told him to do that," the response to
that is: "Are you like `Umar?" But you should speak
kindly and gently, and say that `Umar saw something
which indicated that it was in his son's interests to divorce
his wife. This is the answer to this question which comes
up frequently.
Al-Fataawa al-Jaami'ah li'l-Mar'ah
al-Muslimah, 2/671.
The Standing Committee for Issuing Fatwas was
asked about a mother telling her son to divorce his wife for
no reason or fault in her religious commitment, rather it
was because of the mother's personal reasons. They
replied as follows:
If the situation is as described, that his wife is
righteous and he loves her, and she is dear to him, and she does
not behave badly towards his mother, and his mother
only dislikes her for personal reasons, then he should keep
his wife and stay married to her. He does not have to
divorce her in obedience to his mother, because it was
proven that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) said: "Obedience is only with regard to that
which is right and proper." Based on this, he should honour
his mother and uphold ties of kinship with her by
visiting her and spending on her, and paying attention to her
needs and making her happy and pleasing her in whatever
ways he can, apart from divorcing his wife.
Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa'imah, 2/29.
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36761: Ruling on divorce via e-mail
Question:
First divorce communicated through email to te
wife ,father,and uncle whether valid or a signed
document necessary? whether the other two remaining divorces
can be obtained immediately?.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
It is well known in sharee'ah that divorce takes place
when the words are uttered, written or indicated by a
gesture that takes the place of speaking. See question No.
20660. This is something that is between the husband and
his Lord if no one hears him say that. With the regard
to divorce via e-mail there is no problem regarding the
fact that it is valid: if the husband writes that he is
divorcing his wife then the divorce takes place by virtue of
that writing. But the issue here is whether this divorce can
be proven and authenticated (in court).
It seems that the husband's divorce of his wife via
e-mail is effective if it is proven definitively that the one
who sent the e-mail containing the words of divorce is
the husband or someone whom the husband appointed to
issue the divorce, and he acknowledges that and does not
deny it.
But if that cannot be proven and the husband does
not acknowledge it, then this e-mail message is not valid
and divorce does not take place in this case, because it is
well known to those who work in this field that it is
possible to hack into e-mail accounts and send messages. So
we cannot be absolutely certain that the one who sent it
is the husband.
So proof and confirmation must be sought from
the husband, and the the divorce should not be regarded
as having taken place until after it has been confirmed
by the husband. If he confirms it then the `iddah begins
from the time when he uttered or wrote the words of divorce.
Secondly:
The two remaining divorces (talaaq) cannot take
place immediately, for divorce takes place one at a time.
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"The divorce is twice"
[al-Baqarah 2:229]
This refers to the revocable divorce (i.e., first or
second talaaq). Allaah did not say "two divorces" _
which indicates that it can only happen one at a time,
followed by the `iddah in each case. If the first divorce is valid
as is counted as such, then we have to wait out the `iddah.
If he takes you back during the `iddah, then this
divorce counts as one of the three divorces, and he has to
bring witnesses to attest to that. If he does not take you
back during the `iddah, then you are divorced as soon as
the `iddah is over, and it is not permissible for him to
take you back without a new marriage contract and a new
mahr, and he is regarded as a stranger to you like any other
man who may propose marriage, and the marriage can only
be done with your approval and the agreement of
your guardian.
The applies in the case of a second divorce; if he
takes you back during (the `iddah) then you are his wife. In
the event of a third divorce, you become haraam for him
until you have married another husband in a legitimate
shar'i marriage which is not done solely with the intention
of enabling you to remarry your first husband, and which
is consummated in the proper manner. If it so happens
that you get divorced from your second husband then
it becomes permissible for you to remarry your first
husband after the `iddah ends.
And Allaah knows best.
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13253: Married to a Christian woman _ what should he
do next?
Question:
I'm muslem by birth. Except fasting during Ramadan,
I haven't been practicing much else of Islam til about
3 years ago. I married a christian (non practicing)
american women about 5 years ago but I've known her for 5
more years before that. I've been hoping that she'll see the
light and convert to islam but it didn't happen. We talked
about it and she said that converting to islam is out of
the question. She's a very nice person from a very nice
family and she helped me a lot since I moved to the USA.
She wants to have kids soon (so do I), but it will kill me to
see my kids grow up other then muslems. Even though
she agrees that the children will grow up as muslems.
She said she will teach them Islam and would not
confuse them by teaching them any other religion. She
doesn't know much about islam and she said she'll start
learning as soon as she gets pregnant. I'm very scared
and depressed about this. I tried ending up the marriage 3
times but every time she cried til my heart softened and
agreed to give it one more try. I'm running out of time and
I don't think I can go on with having children with
her. She'll resent it if we never have children and
we'll probably end up separated sooner ar later.
Please advise me as to what to do. What are my responsibilities towards her if we should divorce?.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
We advise you to adhere to Islam and adhere to
its obligatory duties such as prayer, zakaah and fasting,
and to be an example to your wife so that perhaps Allaah
will guide her at your hands and you will achieve much
good thereby.
Secondly:
Your anxieties and fears about your children growing
up as non-Muslims _ if they are born from this woman
_ reflects a commendable concern on your part for
your religion and the religion of your children.
Undoubtedly this good attitude is a good thing. In order to find
peace of mind you need to make a great deal of du'aa' and
ask Allaah to protect your religious commitment and that
of your children. You have to pray istikhaarah as
prescribed in Islam, and ask Allaah to guide you and help you
to make the right decision as far as your
religious commitment is concerned, and choose whether to
stay with her and have children with her, or to leave her
and marry a committed Muslim woman with whom you
will feel confident _ by Allaah's leave _ about your
children. Be certain that whoever gives up something for the
sake of Allaah, Allaah will compensate him with
something better than it, as is proven in the hadeeth of the
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). You
can make the most of your wife's being so attached to you
to explain to her that if there is a conflict between your
love for her and the soundness of your religious
commitment, then the soundness of your religious commitment has
to take priority. Perhaps this will motivate her to enter
the true religion of Allaah _ Islam.
You should note that you cannot force her to enter
Islam without conviction, because entering the religion of
Islam by force will not benefit her, as Ibn Katheer
mentioned (1/211).
See also The effects of marriage to kitaabi women
(i.e., Jewish and Christian women), question no.
20227.
Thirdly:
If your circumstances are conducive to your raising
your children as Muslims and protecting them from
religious and moral deviation, and your wife and her family
will not be able to influence them in those areas, then there
is nothing wrong with trying to have children with your
wife, even if she remains a Christian, because having
children is also the wife's right, and that may help her to
learn about Islam and look into it as she has promised to do.
Fourthly:
You should try to move to a Muslim country where
you will be able to give your children a sound
upbringing, whether you stay with this wife or marry someone
else, because staying in the kaafir lands is not
permissible except in cases of necessity or where it serves the
interests of the Muslims _ such as staying there to call people
to Allaah, or to study and acquire knowledge that
the Muslims need but is not available in their countries _
so long as one is able to practise Islam openly and call
others to Islam, because the Prophet (peace and blessings
of Allaah be upon him) said: "I disavow any Muslim
who stays among the mushrikeen." Narrated by Abu
Dawood, 2645; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in
Saheeh Abi Dawood.
For more information on this issue please see
question no. 13363.
Fifthly:
In the event of a divorce, then the wife is entitled to
the delayed mahr (dowry), if applicable. With regard
to accommodation and maintenance, that depends on
the type of divorce:
If a man has given his wife one revocable talaaq
(divorce), then she is entitled to accommodation and
maintenance during the `iddah; she may also inherit from him and
he from her (if either of them dies) during this period,
because they are still married. The evidence that a woman
divorced by a revocable talaaq is entitled to accommodation is
the verse in which Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"O Prophet! When you divorce women, divorce them
at their `Iddah (prescribed periods) and count
(accurately) their `Iddah (periods). And fear Allaah your Lord
(O Muslims). And turn them not out of their
(husband's) homes nor shall they (themselves) leave, except in
case they are guilty of some open illegal sexual
intercourse. And those are the set limits of Allaah. And
whosoever transgresses the set limits of Allaah, then indeed he
has wronged himself. You (the one who divorces his wife)
know not it may be that Allaah will afterward bring some
new thing to pass (i.e. to return her back to you if that was
the first or second divorce)"
[al-Talaaq 65:1]
If she does not go back to him until after the `iddah
has ended, then she can only go back to him with a
new marriage contract.
If a man divorces his wife with an irrevocable talaaq,
then she is not entitled to accommodation and
maintenance during the `iddah, unless she is pregnant.
Irrevocable divorce is of two types:
(i) The "lesser" type, which is divorce before the
marriage has been consummated, and the divorce in return for
some compensation or payment.
(ii) The "greater" type, which is the third of three talaaqs.
The evidence that a woman who has been divorced by
an irrevocable talaaq is not entitled to maintenance
or accommodation is the report narrated by Muslim
(1480) from al-Sha'bi who said: I entered upon Faatimah
bint Qays and asked her about the ruling of the Messenger
of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him).
She said that her husband divorced her irrevocably and
she referred the matter to the Messenger of Allaah (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him) to judge with regard
to accommodation and maintenance. She said: He did
not grant me accommodation or maintenance, and he told
me to observe my `iddah in the house of Ibn Umm Maktoom.
According to another report also narrated by Muslim
she said: I mentioned that to the Messenger of Allaah
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and he said:
"You are not entitled to any maintenance or
accommodation." According to a version narrated by Abu Dawood:
"You are not entitled to any maintenance unless you
are pregnant."
And Allaah knows best.
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44923: His mother wants him to divorce his second wife
so that no one else will follow his example and marry
more than one wife
Question:
I am a lady who has been married for a short time
because I am the second wife of a married man. His mother
has asked him to divorce me, not because of any bad
conduct on my part, but merely so that his sisters' husbands
will not follow his example. She says that she does not care
if there is any sin on her because of this demand,
what matters is not to go against custom by entering into a
plural marriage. What is the Islamic point of view on this
matter? Does my husband have to obey her in that, knowing
that I live with him according to the way of Allaah?.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
The mother has no right to tell her son to divorce his
wife just because he is going against his family's or
tribe's custom by taking a second wife, or because she fears
that her daughter's husbands may follow his example,
because plural marriage is something that has been permitted
by Allaah and by His Messenger (peace and blessings
of Allaah be upon him).
The son does not have to obey his father or mother
with regard to divorcing his wife, especially if that is for
a reason that is contrary to the aims of sharee'ah,
namely to have many children and keep Muslim women
chaste and reduce immorality.
It says in Mutaalib Oola'l-Nuha (5/320): A son is
not obliged to obey his parents, even if they are of
good character, with regard to divorcing his wife, because
this is not part of honouring one's parents.
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah was asked about a
married man who has children, but his mother dislikes his
wife and tells him to divorce her. Is it permissible for him
to divorce her? The answer was: It is not permissible
for him to divorce her because of what his mother says,
rather he should honour his mother, but divorcing his wife
is not part of honouring his mother. And Allaah knows best.
Al-Fataawa al-Kubra, 3/331
Your husband has to honour his mother and treat
her kindly, whilst keeping you as his wife, because it is
not part of honouring his mother to divorce his wife.
This mother should be advised and reminded that it
is essential to follow the laws of Islam, and to beware
of drawing nigh to sin. She should realize that whether
her daughters will get divorced or not, or their husbands
will take second wives or not, are matters of the unseen
which no one knows except Allaah. Whatever He wills
will happen, so there is no point in committing haraam
actions and splitting up families.
Our advise to you is to strive your hardest to treat
your husband's mother kindly and to win her love, so that
your kind treatment of her will erase from her mind the idea
of telling her son to divorce you.
And Allaah knows best.
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36548: What is the relationship of a woman to the man
who has divorced her?
Question:
Is it permissible for me to go out with my ex-husband
in the company of our children on occasion, so that
they can be together with both parents like other children.
That is done is public places. Also, he does not pray _ is
the money that he spends on them haraam?.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
If a man has issued the last of three talaaqs (divorces),
or he has divorced her once or twice and her `iddah
has ended, then she becomes a stranger (non-mahram) to
him, and it is not permissible for her to be alone with him or
to touch her or to look at her.
The relationship of an ex-husband with his ex-wife is
like his relationship with any other non-mahram woman.
The fact that they have children does not justify his looking
at her, being alone with her or travelling with her. He
can go out with his children without her being there, or
she can be present with one of her mahrams, without
doing any of the haraam things that we have mentioned.
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have
mercy on him) said:
A thrice-divorced woman is a stranger (non-mahram)
to the man like any other non-mahram woman, so the
man does not have the right to be alone with her, just as
he does not have the right to be alone with any
non-mahram woman. And he cannot see of her what he cannot see
of any non-mahram woman, and there are no special
rulings concerning the relationship between them (other than
the rulings governing all interactions between non-mahrams).
Al-Fataawa al-Kubra, 3/349.
With regard to accepting what the divorced
husband spends on his children, there is no reason not to do
so, even if he does not pray. She should remind her
children of the importance of advising their father to pray,
and may Allaah guide him through this advice.
If the mother fears that her children may be
adversely affected by their kaafir father or that he may lead them
to do something that Allaah has forbidden, it is
not permissible for her to allow them to go out with
him, because their going out with him is causing them harm.
And Allaah knows best.
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23269: Does touching with desire count as taking back
a divorced wife?
Question:
For about 2 years now my husband and I have been
having extreme marry difficulties, the problems have gotten
soo bad that it has ended up in 2 divorces, the first divorce
he took me back (having intercourse with me), the
second divorce he just touched me (without having intercourse),but the touch was in a romatic way. He
claims that I am still divorced, because he says that he has
to have actual intercourse with me, I have passed one
period, so he says that I have 2 more left and my iddah is over,
is he right? or did he take me back even though he did
not have intercourse with me he just touched me?.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
Taking back the wife during the `iddah period is a
right which sharee'ah gives to the husband. If he wants,
he may take her back and if he wants, he may leave his
wife until the `iddah period is over. Allaah says
(interpretation of the meaning):
"And their husbands have the better right to take
them back in that period, if they wish for reconciliation"
[al-Baqarah 2:228]
So Allaah has given the husbands of divorced women
the right to take them back during this period [i.e., the
`iddah] if they intend reconciliation thereby.
This taking back may be achieved in two ways: by
word or by deed.
Taking the wife back by word means saying, for
example, "I take back my wife" or "I am keeping my wife," etc.,
or saying to her: "I take you back," or "I am keeping
you," etc.
Taking back is achieved by means of these
phrases, according to the consensus of the fuqaha'.
Writing may take the place of speaking, and a
gesture may take its place on the part of one who is unable
to speak these words, such as one who is mute.
Taking the wife back by deed means intercourse, so
long as that is with the intention of reconciliation.
Shaykh `Abd al-Rahmaan al-Sa'di said:
If the husband had divorced her with a revocable
talaaq, then if the `iddah is over she is not permissible for
him unless a new marriage contract is done, fulfilling
all necessary conditions. If the `iddah is not yet over, and
if the intention behind intercourse is reconciliation, then
this is taking her back and intercourse is permissible. If
there is no intention of reconciliation then according to
the madhhab this means that he has taken her back,
but according to the correct view this does not mean that
he has taken her back, therefore intercourse is haraam.
Al-Irshaad ila Ma'rifat al-Ahkaam.
Based on this, then your husband's merely touching
you is not regarded as him taking you back.
See also the answer to question no.
11798.
This is the view of the majority of scholars
(including Imam Maalik, al-Shaafa'i and Ahmad), that taking
back the wife is not achieved by merely touching with
desire. But Imam Maalik said: Taking back is achieved
by touching with desire if the intention is to take the
wife back. So long as your husband says that he that he did
not intend to take you back, then he did not take you back
by doing that.
See al-Mughni, 7/404; al-Mawsoo'ah
al-Fiqhiyyah, 13/187.
Secondly:
With regard to the `iddah of a woman divorced by
a revocable talaaq, it is three menstrual cycles for
women who menstruate, so there are two cycles left for you
as your husband said, then your `iddah will be over. If
he took you back during this time then this divorce is
counted as one of the three talaaqs, and he has to bring people
to witness that he is taking you back. So he has one
talaaq left, and if he does not take you back during the
`iddah period then you are divorced from him, and it is
not permissible for him to go back to you except with a
new marriage contract and a new `iddah, and the
marriage cannot be completed except with your consent and
the agreement of your wali (guardian).
And Allaah knows best.
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34579: She wants a divorce but he does not want to
divorce her
Question:
I have a sister who is married, but her husband has
not consummated the marriage with her yet. Everything
was fine until my sister suddenly said that she does not
want to live with her husband because she no longer loves
him. They have not lived together in their house as
husband and wife. When her husband heard her say this he
got very angry and refused to divorce her. My sister is
insisting that she does not want to live with him and he is
insisting that he will not divorce her. We have told her that
she cannot get divorced without a legitimate shar'i
reason and proof, but she says that he gets angry quickly,
and discloses secrets. It should be noted that she has not
yet lived with him in the same house. Her husband
admits that and says that he will change. What is the
shar'i solution to this difficult problem?.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
If the husband is giving his wife her rights as
prescribed in sharee'ah, then it is haraam for her to ask him for
a divorce, because the Prophet (peace and blessings
of Allaah be upon him) said: "Any woman who asked for
a divorce for no reason, the fragrance of Paradise
is forbidden to her." Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1187;
Abu Dawood, 2226; Ibn Maajah, 2055; classed as saheeh
by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood).
What is meant by the words "for no reason" is
without any urgent situation which makes it hard for the
marriage to continue.
If the wife is being harmed and the situation is too
difficult for her because of the husband's falling short in
giving her her rights, or his withholding her rights from her,
or because of his bad treatment and other similar
reasons, then she has the right to ask for divorce, and she
may refer to the qaadi and tell him what is happening, and
he in turn can ask the husband to give her her rights or
to divorce her.
If she has found out that he has some bad
characteristics, he should not hasten to ask for a divorce, rather she
has to be kind to him and advise him in the way that is
best, and help him to change his character for the better.
He acknowledges the way he is and has promised to
change. This is a positive step on the husband's part and it is
the first step in dealing with the problem. The wife
should help her husband to do good. If every wife wanted
a divorce when he was quick to get angry or
transmitted some words that were spoken between him and his
wife, or other mistakes, there would be no household that
was not broken up and its members scattered.
For more information see the answers to questions
no 3758 and 12496.
And Allaah knows best.
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31778: It is not a condition of divorce that the wife
should know or that she should be divorced face-to-face
Question:
I have been divorced for three years now. the
proceedings were done through a solicitor. my ex husband did
not contest therefore it was done through agreement
between us. what i would like to know he has never verbally
said `talaq' to me. i have asked a few people, they tell me
that under the islamic law i am divorced, and some
people tell me that he has to say it verbally. please clarify this
for me, as it is affecting me. i initiated the divorce on
grounds of violent behaviour.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
It is not a condition of divorce that the husband
should speak the word in front of his wife or that she
should know of it. When the man speaks the words of
divorce, or writes them down, this is regarded as a valid
divorce that takes effect, even if the wife does not know of it.
If your husband has completed divorce proceedings
with a lawyer then this divorce is valid and effective.
Please see questions 9593 and 20660.
Shaykh Ibn `Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on
him) was asked:
A man has been away from his wife for a long time,
and he had divorced her to himself, even though he did
not inform her of that. Has divorce taken place?
He replied:
The divorce has taken place, even if he did not
convey that to his wife. If a man utters the words of divorce
and says, "I divorce my wife", the wife is divorced
whether she knows it or not. Hence if we assume that the
wife does not come to know of this divorce until after she
has had three menstrual cycles, then her `iddah is
complete even if she did not know. Similarly if a man dies and
his wife does not come to know of his death until after
the end of the `iddah period, then she does not have to
observe `iddah because in this case it is already over.
Fataawa Ibn `Uthaymeen, 2/804.
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11435: He divorced his fourth wife and wants to
marry another; should he wait until her `iddah ends?
Question:
If a man divorces his fourth wife and wants to
marry another woman, does he have to wait until the `iddah
of the divorced woman ends?.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
It is haraam for the man who has divorced his fourth
wife to marry another until the `iddah of the divorced
woman has ended.
And Allaah is the Source of strength.
Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Da'imah, 18/11 (www.islam-qa.com)
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22850: He said to his wife, "I don't want a woman who
is like this." Is this regarded as a divorce (talaaq)?
Question:
A man was arguing with his wife and blaming her for
her attitude, and said that she was acting like a man in
her dealings with him. He said to her, "If you carry on
being like this it is difficult to live together. I do not want a
girl who is like this." We asked him about his intention
when he said these words and he said that he did not
know what his intention was at that moment.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
The scholars regard these words as words that are
hinting at divorce. The ruling is that divorce does not take
place unless that was his intention. If he did not intend to
divorce her or he does not know what his intention was at
the time when he spoke these words, then divorce does
not take place.
Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him)
was asked about a man who said to his wife, "I don't
want you" a number of times. He said: These words do
not constitute divorce if that was not his intention. This is
a hint but is not divorce. His wife is still his wife, and
he does not have to do anything.
Fataawa al-Talaaq by Shaykh Ibn Baaz, p. 68.
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20660: He intended divorce but he did not speak the
words out loud. Did divorce take place?
Question:
If someone announces the intention to divorce his wife
to anothe male. Does the divorce goes into effect?
He did not pronounce it definitively he only said it
that he would or intended to. But He did not is the
marriage still valid.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
This divorce has not taken place, so long as the
husband did not utter the words of divorce, because intention
on its own is not enough for divorce to take place.
This is the view of the majority of scholars, as
mentioned by al-Haafiz in al-Fath (9/394), and as quoted by
Ibn Qudaamah in al-Mughni (7/121) from the majority
of scholars. They quoted as evidence for that the
hadeeth narrated by al-Bukhaari (2528) and Muslim (327)
from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him)
who said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings
of Allaah be upon him) said: "Allaah has forgiven
my ummah for whatever crosses their minds, so long as
they do not act upon it or speak of it." Qutaadah _ one of
the narrators of this hadeeth _ said: If it said the words
of divorce to himself, without uttering it, it does not
mean anything.
Shaykh Ibn Baaz said:
If there is merely the intention of divorce, that does
not mean that divorce has taken place. Rather divorce
takes place when the words are spoken or written. He
quoted as evidence the hadeeth mentioned above.
Fataawa Islamiyyah, 3/279.
And Allaah knows best.
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39941: He swore to divorce her if she visited her
family, and now he has recanted. Does he have to offer
kafaarat yameen?
Question:
My husband swore to divorce me if I visited my
family. Now he has recanted. Does he have to offer
kafaarat yameen (expiation for breaking a vow)?.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
It is prescribed for the Muslim not to use divorce
in arguments between him and his wife. That is because
of the bad consequences that result from divorce. Many
men take the matter of divorce lightly and every time they
have an argument with their wives they swear to divorce
them, and every time they have a dispute with their friends
they swear to divorce their wives, and so on. This is a kind
of playing with the word of Allaah, so how about the
one who takes divorce as his habit, so that every time he
wants to stop his wife doing something or make her
do something, he swears to divorce her!
Al-Nasaa'i (3401) narrated that Mahmoud ibn
Labeed said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings
of Allaah be upon him) was told about a man who
had divorced his wife three times in one sitting. He stood
up angrily and said, "Is he playing with the Book of
Allaah whilst I am still among you?" Then a man stood up
and said, "O Messenger of Allaah, shall I not kill him?"
Al-Haafiz said: the men of its isnaad are trustworthy.
This was classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Ghaayat
al-Maraam, 261.
Shaykh Ibn `Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on
him) said:
Those foolish men who utter words of divorce for
every matter, minor or major, are going against the teaching
of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) who said: "Whoever swears (an oath), let him swear
by Allaah or else remain silent." Narrated by
al-Bukhaari, 2679. So if a believer wants to swear an oath, let
him swear by Allaah.
Moreover we should not make a lot of oaths,
because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"And protect your oaths (i.e. do not swear much)"
[al-Maa'idah 5:89]
The commentaries on this verse may be summed up
as saying that what it means is: do not swear a great deal
by Allaah.
But swearing to divorce one's wife, such as saying,
"My wife is divorced if she does such and such," or "My
wife is divorced if she does not do such and such," or "if I
do such and such then my wife is divorced," or "If you
do not do such and such then my wife is divorced," and
so on, is contrary to the teachings of the Prophet (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him).
Fataawa al-Mar'ah al-Muslimah, 2/753.
Secondly:
As to whether or not divorce takes place as a result
of that, the reference point here is the husband's
intention. If he intended to divorce her, then the divorce takes
place if his wife does the thing that he swore she should not
do. If he did not intend to divorce her, rather he only
intended to stop her doing something, then the ruling in this
case is the ruling on vows.
Shaykh Ibn `Uthaymeen said:
The most correct view is that if divorce is used as a
vow, in the sense that the intention behind it is to urge
someone to do something, or to stop them from doing
something, or to prove that someone is telling the truth or lying, or
to confirm something, then it comes under the rulings
on vows, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"O Prophet! Why do you forbid (for yourself) that
which Allaah has allowed to you, seeking to please your
wives? And Allaah is OftForgiving, Most Merciful.
Allaah has already ordained for you (O men) the absolution from your oaths"
[al-Tahreem 66:1-2]
So Allaah has made forbidding something to oneself
a vow or oath.
And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) said: "Actions are but by intentions, and every
man will have but that which he intended."
Al-Bukhaari, 1.
This man did not intend to divorce, rather he intended
to swear an oath, or something of that nature. So if he
breaks his vow, then it is sufficient for him to offer
kafaarat yameen. This is the more correct view.
Fataawa al-Mar'ah al-Muslimah, 2/754
The Standing Committee was asked about a man
who said to his wife, "You will be divorced if you do not
come with me," and she did not go with him. Does this
mean that they are divorced?
They replied:
If you did not intend that divorce should take place,
rather you meant to urge her to go with you, then divorce
has not taken place. But you have to offer kafaarat
yameen, according to the more sound of the two scholarly
opinions. If you did intend that divorce should take place and
she did not do as you said, then she has been divorced once.
Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa'imah, 20/86.
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34164: He thought of divorcing his wife
Question:
I had an argument with my wife about doing the
laundry. I want her to wash the clothes and she does not want
to do it. After a lot of arguing and shouting I went to
a different room and thought of telling her, "You will
be divorced if you wash them this month, I will wash
them myself." But I did not tell her what I had said to
myself, and I did not say it in a loud voice. I could hardly
hear myself saying it. I did that to stop the argument about
the laundry, because she is very argumentative and I did
not mean to divorce her, only to scare her. All of that
happened to me in a moment of anger. If she does the laundry
will that mean she is divorced or is it just a vow (yameen)?.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
Divorce does not happen just because you said that
to yourself or you thought about it, or decided to do it
but did not utter the words.
That is because the Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) said: "Allaah will forgive my ummah
for whatever crosses their minds and whatever they think
of, so long as they do not act upon it or speak it out
loud." Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 6664; Muslim, 127.
Ibn Qudaamah said: What that means is that divorce
can only take place if the words are spoken out loud. If a
man intends that in his heart but does not utter the words,
then divorce does not take place, according to the majority
of scholars, including `Ata', Jaabir ibn Zayd, Sa'eed
ibn Jubayr, Yahya ibn Abi Katheer, al-Shaafa'i, and
Ishaaq. This was also narrated from al-Qaasim, Saalim,
al-Hasan and al-Shu'bi.
Al-Mughni, 7/294.
From your words, "I did not say it in a loud voice. I
could hardly hear myself saying it" we understand that you
did utter these words, but in a soft voice. If that is the
case, then what you said is regarded as meaning that you
did divorce her, subject to the condition, which is that
she washes the clothes. But you said that you did not
intend to divorce her, only to scare her. Based on this, the
ruling on this divorce is that of a vow (yameen): if she
washes your clothes then you have to offer kafaarat
yameen (expiation for breaking a vow), and that is not a
divorce, as mentioned in the fatwa by Shaykh Ibn Baaz and
Shaykh Ibn `Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on them).
See Fataawa Islamiyyah, 3/280-285.
Kafaarat yameen is mentioned in the verse in which
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"Allaah will not punish you for what is unintentional
in your oaths, but He will punish you for your
deliberate oaths; for its expiation (a deliberate oath) feed
ten Masaakeen (poor persons), on a scale of the average
of that with which you feed your own families, or
clothe them or manumit a slave. But whosoever cannot
afford (that), then he should fast for three days. That is
the expiation for the oaths when you have sworn"
[al-Maa'idah 5:89]
See also question no. 9985.
All of this is based on the assumption that you spoke
these words out loud, and that you were not just thinking of
the matter.
It is better and more on the safe side if you offer
kafaarat yameen.
To sum up the answer:
If you did not actually utter the words of divorce, and
you did not move your tongue, then you do not have to
do anything.
But if you uttered these words, even in a low voice,
this comes under the ruling of a vow (yameen), because
you meant to stop her washing your clothes, not to
divorce her.
Whether your wife knows what happened or not, that
does not alter the ruling at all.
The Muslim should avoid the matter of divorce,
whether in thinking, determining to do it or speaking the
words out loud, because that exposes the Muslim family
to destruction for trivial reasons.
We ask Allaah to set the Muslims' affairs straight.
And Allaah knows best.
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34571: Divorcing a wife because of her bad attitude
Question:
My brother-in-law had a miserable married life for
last two years. his wife used to behave badly with him
and the worst thing the girl used to torture /abuse her
mother-in-law .
After many tormenting and disgusting discussions
the boy,his mother, his father and his sister decided
divorce is the only solution and he divorced. Please clarify
whether the stance taken was right or not? .
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
The basic principle concerning divorce is that it
is makrooh. This is indicated by the words of
Allaah (interpretation of the meaning):
"Those who take an oath not to have sexual relation
with their wives must wait for four months, then if they
return (change their idea in this period), verily, Allaah is
Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.
227. And if they decide upon divorce, then Allaah is
All-Hearer, All-Knower"
[al-Baqarah 2:226]
With regard to the oath not to have sexual relations,
Allaah says "Oft-Forgiving, Most
Merciful", but with regard to divorce, He says,
"All-Hearer, All-Knower". This
contains an element of warning, and this indicates that divorce
is makrooh or disliked by Allaah.
But there may be some situations in which there is
no alternative to divorce, and matters may reach a point
where divorce becomes essential. In a situation such as
that mentioned in the question, divorce is an
appropriate solution, because one of the rights that a husband
has over his wife is that she should respect his
family, especially the husband's mother. The mother's rights
over a man come before his wife's rights, so the wife
should help her husband to honour his mother.
The scholars (may Allaah have mercy on them) have
stated that divorce is permissible in cases where it is
needed because of the wife's bad attitude and bad conduct
and because she is causing too much harm and not doing
what she is supposed to do.
Al-Mughni, 10/324
And Allaah knows best.
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26247: Khula': definition and how it is done
Question:
What is khula and what is the correct procedure? If
the husband does not want to divorce the wife, can the
divorce still happen? What about in societies like America,
where women who don't like their husbands (in some
case, because the husbands are religious). The women
think that they have the freedom that if they don't like the
men, they can divorce them.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
Khula' means the separation of the wife in return for
a payment; the husband takes the payment and lets his
wife go, whether this payment is the mahr which he gave
to her, or more or less than that.
The basic principle concerning this is the verse in
which Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"And it is not lawful for you (men) to take back
(from your wives) any of your Mahr (bridal-money given
by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage)
which you have given them, except when both parties fear
that they would be unable to keep the limits ordained by
Allaah (e.g. to deal with each other on a fair basis). Then if
you fear that they would not be able to keep the limits
ordained by Allaah, then there is no sin on either of them if
she gives back (the Mahr or a part of it) for her
Al-Khul` (divorce)" [al-Baqarah
2:229]
The evidence for that from the Sunnah is that the wife
of Thaabit ibn Qays ibn Shammaas (may Allaah be
pleased with him) came to the Prophet (peace and blessings
of Allaah be upon him) and said, "O Messenger of Allaah,
I do not find any fault with Thaabit ibn Qays in his
character or his religious commitment, but I do not want to
commit any act of kufr after becoming a Muslim." The
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to
her, "Will you give back his garden?" Because he had
given her a garden as her mahr. She said, "Yes." The
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said
to Thaabit: "Take back your garden, and divorce
her." (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5273).
From this case the scholars understood that if a
woman cannot stay with her husband, then the judge should
ask him to divorce her by khula'; indeed he should order
him to do so.
With regard to the way in which it is done, the
husband should take his payment or they should agree upon
it, then he should say to her
"faaraqtuki" (I separate from you) or
"khaala'tuki (I let you go), or other such words.
Talaaq (i.e., divorce) is the right of the husband, and
does not take place unless it is done by him, because the
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
"Talaaq is the right of the one who seizes the leg (i.e.,
consummates the marriage)" i.e., the husband. (Narrated by Ibn
Maajah, 2081; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in
Irwa' al-Ghaleel, 2041).
Hence the scholars said that whoever is forced to
divorce his wife by talaaq wrongfully, and divorces her
under pressure, then his divorce is not valid. See
al-Mughni, 10/352.
With regard to what you mention, that a woman in
your country might arrange her own divorce through the
man-made laws, if this is for a reason for which it is
permissible to seek a divorce, such as disliking her husband, not
being able to stay with him or disliking him because of
his immoral ways and indulgence in haraam actions,
etc., there is nothing wrong with her seeking divorce, but
in this case she should divorce him by khula' and return
to him the mahr that he gave to her.
But if she is seeking divorce for no reason, then that
is not permissible and the court ruling on divorce in
this case does not count for anything in terms of
sharee'ah. The woman still remains the wife of the man. This
gives rise to a new problem, which is that this woman
is regarded as a divorcee in the eyes of the (man-made)
law, and can re-marry after her `iddah ends, but in fact she
is still a wife and not a divorcee.
Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-`Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) was asked about a
similar matter and said:
Now we have a problem. The fact that she is still
married to him means that she cannot marry anyone else,
but according to the court ruling she is apparently
divorced from him, and when her `iddah ends she can re-marry.
I think that the only way out of this problem is that
good and righteous people should get involved in this
matter, to bring about reconciliation between the man and
his wife. Otherwise she has to give him some payment,
so that it will be a proper shar'i khula'.
Liqa' al-baab al-Maftooh by Shaykh Muhammad
ibn `Uthaymeen, no. 54; 3/174.
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26221: He said that his wife would be haraam to him if
he took a second wife and now he wants to marry again
Question:
1 _ What is the ruling on a man who follows the
Maaliki madhhab if he said that his wife would be haraam to
him if he took a second wife, meaning to close the door to
a second marriage more than to divorce his wife if he
took a second wife?
2 _ What is the ruling on a man who swears that he
will divorce his wife if he commits zina (dultery), then
he commits zina?
3 _ If the divorce (talaaq) is valid in either case, is
there any solution to enable him to keep his wife? Please
note that his wife does not live with him in the same city,
and he does not want to divorce her, but he wants a way
out that will allow him to marry another wife so that he
will not fall into zina (adultery) again and commit sin and
his wife become forbidden for him.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
Divorce has not taken place in this case, but he must
offer kafaarat yameen (expiation for breaking a vow) if he
takes a second wife, because by swearing that oath he meant
to stop himself (from marrying another woman), not
to divorce his wife.
Ibn `Uthaymeen, Fataawa Manaar al-Islam, 2/584.
The questioner's words, "meaning to close the door to
a second marriage more than to divorce his wife if he
took a second wife" appear to mean divorce and
stopping himself at the same time, but the idea of stopping
himself is stronger. The ruling does not change because
the emphasis is more on stopping himself.
Shaykh Khaalid al-Mushayqih
Secondly:
If what he intended when he swore the oath was
divorce, then divorce has taken place. If he committed that
sin, the divorce has indeed taken place. But if what he
intended was to stop himself comitting this sin _ which is
usually the case when such words are spoken _ then he must
offer kafaarat al-yameen.
Fataawa al-Talaaq by Shaykh Ibn Baaz, 1/141
The Muslim should not play about with the word
of divorce (talaaq), and swear to divorce his wife as a
means of preventing himself from doing something,
because many of the scholars think that divorce actually takes
place in such cases, even if he did not intend that it should
take place.
Thirdly:
Our advice to the questioner is that he should
repent sincerely from the zina to which he has confessed,
for this is one of the most repugnant of sins, which
generates darkness in the heart and on the face of the one who
does it. He must strive to follow the means that will
prevent him from committing this sin. The scholars (may
Allaah have mercy on them) have stated that marriage
is obligatory if a man fears that he may fall into sin if
he does not marry.
Al-Mughni, 9/341
So you must strive to bring your wife to live with you
in the same city, because this is a way of treating her in
a kind manner. You should realize that she is suffering
just as you are. You should not be concerned about
protecting yourself from falling into sin, then leave your wife
to suffer, for that is contrary to the kind treatment
enjoined by Allaah and His Messenger. If you cannot manage
to do that, then you should take a second wife, but that
does not mean that your first wife will be divorced, as
stated above; rather you will have to offer kafaarat yameen.
Kafaarat yameen is mentioned in the aayah
(interpretation of the meaning):
"Allaah will not punish you for what is unintentional
in your oaths, but He will punish you for your
deliberate oaths; for its expiation (a deliberate oath) feed
ten Masaakeen (poor persons), on a scale of the average
of that with which you feed your own families, or
clothe them or manumit a slave. But whosoever cannot
afford (that), then he should fast for three days. That is
the expiation for the oaths when you have sworn"
[al-Maa'idah 5:89]
May Allaah send blessings and peace upon our
Prophet Muhammad, and upon all his family and companions.
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23463: Man writing romantic letters to his former wife
Question:
Is it halal or haram for a person to write or call
former spouse in romantic way after that person is remarried
and also is it approprieate to keep former spouse's cards
and pictures in the bedroom where newly married
couple resides?
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
After a woman has been divorced and her `iddah
is finished, she becomes a "stranger" (i.e., non-mahram)
to her former husband, so it is not permissible for him
to correspond with her or talk to her or shake hands
with her or be alone with her. Such actions on his part or
on hers pave the way for immorality, let alone being
haraam in and of themselves.
1 _ Shaykh Muhammad Saalih ibn `Uthaymeen said:
It is not permissible for any person to correspond with
a woman who is not his mahram, because of the
fitnah (temptation) involved in that. The person who is
sending these letters may think that there is no fitnah
involved, but the Shaytaan will keep at him until he tempts the
man by means of the woman and vice versa.
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) commanded those who hear the Dajjaal to keep away
from him, and he said that a man may come to him as a
believer, but the Dajjaal will keep at him until he tempts him
and leads him astray.
There is a great deal of temptation and danger
in correspondence between young men and young
women, so they must keep away from it, even though
the questioner may say that there is no love involved.
Fataawa al-Mar'ah al-Muslimah, 2/578
2 _ Shaykh `Abd-Allaah al-Jibreen said, when he
was asked about corresponding with a non-mahram woman:
This action is not permissible, because it will
provoke desire between them and will make them want to
meet one another. This kind of correspondence often
causes fitnah (temptation) and plants the seeds of zina in the
heart, which leads to evil actions. So we advise those who
are seeking that which is in their own best interests and
who wish to protect themselves to avoid writing to or
speaking with non-mahrams, etc., so as to protect their
religious commitment and their honour, and Allaah is the
Source of help.
Fataawa al-Mar'ah al-Muslimah, 2/578, 579
Secondly:
It is not permissible for a husband or a wife to
keep pictures of one another after the `iddah following
talaaq has ended, because they have become strangers (i.e.
non-mahrams) to one another and Allaah has forbidden
them to look at one another. Allaah says (interpretation of
the meaning):
"Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from
looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts
(from illegal sexual acts). That is purer for them. Verily,
Allaah is AllAware of what they do.
And tell the believing women to lower their gaze
(from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private
parts (from illegal sexual acts)"
[al-Noor 24:30-31]
Moreover, for the husband to keep pictures of his
former wife in the bedroom of his new wife is contrary to
good treatment of the new wife, and it will generate
jealousy and hatred towards the first wife, and rancour and
hatred towards her husband.
Hence it is not permissible for the husband to keep
pictures of his former wife or to correspond with her.
If the divorce is not the third and final talaaq, in
which the husband is not permitted to take back his wife
until after she has been married to another husband, and if
the husband thinks that the reasons for the divorce no
longer apply and that they can adhere to the limits set by
Allaah and that each of them will be able to treat the
other properly, then in such a case he can take her back with
a new marriage contract so that she will be his wife
again, especially if he has children from her whom he fears
may be adversely affected by their parents' separation.
Marriage to another woman does not mean that he
cannot re-marry the divorced wife if he thinks that he is able
to take care of both.
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62839: Whispers from the Shaytaan and the remedy
for them
Question:
Because I am suffering from waswasah (whispers
from the Shaytaan), sometimes I do not answer my wife
when she tries to speak to me, because of this waswasah
or because I believe she is the cause of this waswasah.
Does the fact that I do not answer her count as a talaaq
(divorce)? If I speak to her angrily does that count as a talaaq?
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
Not answering your wife does not count as a talaaq,
neither does speaking to her angrily.
No matter how much you may think of divorce, or
intend and resolve to do it, talaaq (divorce) does not take
place until and unless you utter the words of talaaq. That
is because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah
be upon him) said: "Allaah has forgiven for my ummah
that which is whispered to them and which crosses their
minds, so long as they do not act upon it or speak of it."
(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 6664; Muslim, 127)
Based on this, according to the scholars if a man
thinks of talaaq, that does not mean anything unless he
speaks of it.
Indeed, according to some scholars, if a person is
suffering from waswaas his talaaq does not count even if he
utters it, so long as he did not have the intention of
talaaq. Shaykh Ibn `Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on
him) said:
"The talaaq of a person who is suffering from
waswaas does not count even if he utters the words, if that was
not done deliberately, because this utterance
happened because of waswaas, not because of his will or
intention. Rather it was forced upon him because of the strength
of the waswaas and his lack of self-control. The
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said,
`There is no divorce under compulsion.' So this divorce
does not count, because he did not really want to do that.
This was something that was forced upon him with no
intention or choice on his part to do that, so this does not mean
that talaaq has occurred."
(Fataawa Islamiyyah, compiled by Shaykh
Muhammad ibn `Abd al-`Azeez al-Musnad, 3/277)
We advise you not to pay any attention to these
whispers, and to ignore them, and to do the opposite of what
they are calling you to do. For these whispers (waswaas)
come from the Shaytaan to cause grief to those who
believe. The best way to deal with them is to remember Allaah
a great deal (dhikr), to seek refuge with Allaah from
the accursed Shaytaan, to keep away from sins and
wrong actions which are the means by which Iblees gains
control over the sons of Adam. Allaah says (interpretation of
the meaning):
"Verily, he [the Shaytaan] has no power over those
who believe and put their trust only in their Lord
(Allaah)" [al-Nahl 16:99]
It is worth quoting here what Ibn Hajar al-Haythami
(may Allaah have mercy on him) said about dealing
with waswasah in his book al-Fataawa al-Fiqhiyyah
al-Kubra, 1/149. This is what he said:
"He was asked about the problem of
waswasah (insinuating whispers from the Shaytaan), and
whether there is a remedy for it.
He replied by saying that there is an effective remedy
for it, which is to ignore them completely, no matter
how frequently they may come to mind. When these
whispers are ignored, they do not become established, rather
they go away after a short time, as many people
have experienced. But for those who pay attention to them
and act upon them, they increase until they make him
like one who is insane or even worse, as we see among
many of those who have suffered from them and paid
attention to them and to the devil whose task it is to insinuate
these whispers, whom the Prophet (peace and blessings
of Allaah be upon him) warned us against when he
said, "Beware the whispers with regard to water (i.e.,
wudoo') which is caused by a devil called al-Walhaan" _
because that causes a person to go to extremes with regard to
doing wudoo', as was explained in Sharh Mishkaat
al-Anwaar.
In al-Saheehayn there is a report which supports
what has been mentioned above, which is that whoever
suffers from waswaas should seek refuge with Allaah and
turn away from the waswaas. So think about this
effective remedy which was taught by the one who does not
speak of his own whims and desires to his ummah,
and understand that whoever is deprived of this is
deprived of all goodness, because waswasah comes from
the Shaytaan, according to scholarly consensus, and
the accursed one (the Shaytaan) has no other desire than
to make the believers go astray, make them confused,
make their life a misery, cause them distress to the extent
that they leave Islam without realizing it.
"Surely, Shaytaan (Satan) is an enemy to you, so
take (treat) him as an enemy"
[Faatir 35:6 _ interpretation of the
meaning]
According to another hadeeth, the one who suffers
from waswasah should say, "Aamantu Billaahi wa bi
rusulihi (I believe in Allaah and in His
Messengers)." Undoubtedly, whoever thinks of the paths of
the Messengers of Allaah, especially our Prophet (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him) will find that his
path and his law is easy and clear, with no hardship in it.
"… and has not laid upon you in religion any hardship"
[al-Hajj 22:78 _ interpretation of the
meaning]
Whoever ponders this and believes in it sincerely,
the problem of waswasah and listening to the Shaytaan
will go away. In the book of Ibn al-Sunni it is narrated
via `Aa'ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her),
"Whoever suffers from this waswaas, let him say
`Aamantu Billaahi wa bi rusulihi (I believe in Allaah and in His
Messengers)', three times, and it will go away from him."
Al-`Izz ibn `Abd al-Salaam and others mentioned something similar to the above. They said: the
treatment for waswasah is to believe that this is an idea from
the Shaytaan and that Iblees is the one who is bringing
these thoughts to his mind, and he should strive to fight
him. Then he will have the reward of the mujaahid,
because he is fighting the enemy of Allaah. If he does that,
then the Shaytaan will flee from him. This is what
mankind has been tested with from the beginning of time,
and Allaah has given him (Iblees) some power over man as
a test for him, so that Allaah may show the truth to be
true and falsehood to be false, even though the
disbelievers may hate that.
In Muslim, hadeeth no. 2203, it is narrated that
`Uthmaan ibn Abi'l-`Aas said: "The Shaytaan was interfering
with my prayer and recitation of Qur'aan [Qur'an, Quran]. He [the
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) ] said:
`That is a devil called Khanzab, so seek refuge with Allaah
from him and spit drily to your left three times.' I did that,
and Allaah took him away from me."
This hadeeth proves the point we are making, which
is that waswasah can only overpower the one who is
ignorant and confused and does not know what's what. But
the one who has knowledge and understanding will
the Sunnah and keep away from bid'ah. The worst of
the innovators are those who follow waswaas, hence
Maalik (may Allaah have mercy on him) narrated that his
shaykh al-Rabee' _ who was the imam of the people of his time
_ was the fastest of the people in relieving himself and
doing wudoo'.
Ibn Hurmuz used to be slow in relieving himself and
in doing wudoo', and he used to say "I have a problem,
do not follow my example."
Al-Nawawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said
that one of the scholars thought it was mustahabb for the
one who was affected by waswasah with regard to his
wudoo or prayer to say Laa ilaaha
ill-Allaah, for when the Shaytaan hears dhikr (remembrance of Allaah) he
slinks away, and Laa ilaaha ill-Allaah is the best of dhikr,
and the most effective remedy for warding off waswasah is
to remember Allaah a great deal.
We ask Allaah to take away the waswasah that you
are suffering and to increase us and you in faith,
righteousness and piety.
And Allaah knows best.
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22680: He left the house and went away. Is this counted
as a talaaq (divorce)?
Question:
A husband has left a wife on three occasions. In all
these occasions, he simply walked out the door, no
utterance of divorce. After about a month or so for two of
these occasions, the wife received a letter stating the
condition if he were to return, as well as stating that if
these conditions weren't met, he would divorce her. Are
these two occasions classed as talaqs, also, are they 2
separate talaqs, noting that the wife did not realise that it was
a talaq if it was intended. The third occasion was clearly
a talaq. Furthermore, the husband is on some sort of
heart medication which the wife feels has made him
unstable in thought. She still wishes to be his wife and wants
to care for him but according to the imaams, he has
divorced her three time. She wishes for this to be resolved.
Was she talaq-ed three times?
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
A divorce does not happen simply by intention,
because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) said: "Allaah has forgiven my ummah for what
crosses their minds, so long as they do not act upon it or speak
of it."
(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5269; Muslim, 127)
Rather talaaq (divorce) happens in one of two ways:
either by speaking or by writing. (Fataawa
al-Talaaq by Ibn Baaz, 53-54)
On this basis, talaaq did not take place on the first
and second occasions, because the husband did not speak
or write the words of talaaq .
As for the third occasion, if he said, as stated in
the question, "that he would divorce her if these
conditions were not met", this too is not counted as a talaaq, rather
it is a threat of talaaq. Whether the conditions were met
or not, this does not mean that a talaaq has taken
place, because of threat of talaaq does not mean that a
talaaq has actually taken place. (Fataawa
al-Talaaq by Ibn Baaz, 56).
And Allaah knows best. May Allaah send blessings
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26163: She does not get on with her husband; should
she leave him and make her father angry?
Question:
I have been married for four years now, but dont get
on with my husband at all. I have told him and my
father many times that i find it hard to get on with him.
Our marriage happened in Pakistan when i was going
through a very bad time. My mother had been accused of
adultery and was locked up in her Father-in-laws house. Me
and my brother who were in Pakistan at the time were
not allowed to talk to her or even see her. It was in those
days that my father suggested that i get married. I had
my Nikaah done then came to England. When my
husband came over i tried to get on with him but found it
very hard. I dont want to stay with him because i know that
i wont be able to love and respect him like a wife should.
I also dont want to hurt my father by getting a divorce. If
i do get a divorce will i be punished for hurting my
father so much? Do you think it is right for me to get a
divorce or carry on like this `'trying'' to work it out but not
getting anywhere?
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
What we advise our sister to do is to try to avoid
hurting her father's feelings and also give her husband his
right to love and obedience.
If she is unable to give her husband his rights, and
she does not feel any fondness for him, which makes her
feel put off by him and makes her not want to obey him,
then what she should do in this case is to free herself from
him by means of khula' and not ask him for a divorce (talaaq).
There is a great difference between talaaq and
khula'. Talaaq is done by the husband because he does not
like his wife _ for example _ and not because of any
reason on her part. Then the wife must observe the
`iddah (waiting period) according to her situation. If she
is pregnant, the `iddah lasts until she gives birth; if she
is very young or is past the age of menopause, then
she should wait for three months; if she is of
child-bearing age then she should wait for three menstrual cycles.
The husband has to give his wife the entire mahr and all
her rights.
Khula' is initiated by the wife, and she gives him
money to leave her. It is preferable for the husband not to ask
for more than the mahr which he had given to her. Her
`iddah lasts for one menstrual cycle, to establish that she is
not pregnant.
A similar case happened to some of the women of
the Sahaabah as that which the sister is asking about.
It was narrated that Ibn `Abbaas said: The wife of
Thaabit ibn Qays came to the Messenger of Allaah (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said, "O
Messenger of Allaah, I do not find any fault in Thaabit's
religious commitment or character, but I cannot bear to live
with him." The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings
of Allaah be upon him) said: "Will you give him back
his garden [that he had given as the mahr]?" She said, "Yes."
(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4972)
According to another report (4971): "I do not find
any fault in Thaabit's religious commitment or character,
but I would hate to fall into sin by rejecting the commands
of Islam when I am a Muslim."
i.e., I am afraid that I may do something which would
go against the rulings of Islam such as hating my
husband, disobeying him, not giving him his rights, etc. See
Fath al-Baari, 9/400
To sum up: you have to try to get along with your
husband and give him his rights, and if you cannot then you
have to free yourself from the marriage by means of
khula'. You can ask for your father's approval and explain to
him that staying with your husband will adversely affect
your religious commitment and your worldly interests. If
he agrees, all well and good, but you do not have to
stay with your husband when you do not like him and
you cannot give him his rights. We ask Allaah to relieve
you of your distress and to help you and give you a good life.
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13803: Her husband beats her severely
Question:
I am a 22 year old Muslim born female in in America.
I have been married to my husband. I married him
because I thought that he was a good Muslim brother who
cared about spreading ISlam and helping to raise the
Kalimah of Allah -swt- by helping Muslims.
I wanted to break off the marriage when we were
still engaged about 4 years ago because he was saying
mean things to me, hurting my feelings, and
emotionally abusive. But he promised that after we got married
he would be nice to me and that his harshness was the
result of him having a bad job. Since Muslims are supposed
to keep their promises, I believed and trusted him, and
agreed to marry him.
Since being married, he has gotten worse and has
been physically abusive, even punching me and choking me.
My parents finally found out about 8 months ago. I
left him to my parents house at that time for a few
weeks. They convinced me that i should give him another
chance because any other man i would marry would probably
be even worse. They say that all of the other divorced
women end up with worse husbands and situations.
He came back apologizing and promising to change
his ways of saying hurtful things, being picky, and to
stop the abuse. The agreemant was that I would go back
to him to see if he really has changed.
After going back to him, he only changed for a short while.
He has been verbally and emotionally abusive. He
has been physically abusive to a small degree. He has
pushed me lightly and smacked me lightly. Since this is how
his abuse started when we first got married from light
to harder and harder, I decided a couple of months later
that he has not changed and told my parents that.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
We ask Allaah to help you cope with the calamities
that have befallen you, and to grant you the reward of
those who are patient, for He is Most Generous, Most Kind.
The husband should realize that he is a shepherd and
is responsible for his flock. Allaah has enjoined upon
him to treat them in a good and proper manner and to treat
his family kindly. Our Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) said: "The best of you is the one who
is best towards his wife, and I am the best of you
towards my wives." (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 3895; Ibn
Maajah, 1977; classed as saheeh by Shaykh al-Albaani in
Saheeh al-Jaami, 3314). Part of that good and kind
treatment means not beating one's wife in a severe manner and
not insukting or cursing her. He should realize that this is
a violation of the trust with which Allaah has entrusted him.
We have heard that many people have a hard time
finding a job by which they may earn their livelihood, and that
it may take a long time to find a suitable job. We have
heard that many of these people oppress their wives and
beat them, as if they are the cause of what is happening
to them. It is as if they use this situation to justify
their abhorrent actions. These men have to fear Allaah and
to realize that they are the ones who are most in need
of obeying Allaah and keeping away from haraam
things; they should not commit sins then justify that
for themselves.
The Muslim has to realize that he is in the world of
trials and tests, so he must adorn himself with patience
in bearing all the things that happen to him in this life.
He should turn to Allaah by praying to Him to relieve him
of the disasters that have befallen him, for He is the
One Who relieves worry and distress, and Who answers
the prayer of the one who has been wronged, may He
be glorified and praised. Nothing is hidden from Him
and there is nothing that He is unable to do in the heavens
or on earth, to Him be praise in the beginning and at
the end.
He is the most generous of those who are generous,
and His slave does not seek to draw close to Him but He
is even swifter in drawing close to His slave.
Al-Bukhaari (6856) and Muslim (4832) narrated in their
Saheehs that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him)
said: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) said: "Allaah says: `I am as My slave thinks I am. I
am with him when he makes mention of Me. If he
makes mention of Me to himself, I make mention of him
to Myself; and if he makes mention of Me in an assembly,
I make mention of him in an assembly better than it.
And if he draws near to Me a hand's span, I draw near to
him an arm's length; and if he draws near to Me an
arm's length, I draw near to him a fathom's length. And if
he comes to Me walking, I go to him at speed.'"
In your case, my sister, Allaah is testing you by means
of a man whose behaviour and attitude are bad. Based
on what has been mentioned in the question, it is
permissible for you to ask for a divorce (this is what is called
khula'), because living with this man and anyone like him
is something that is unbearable. Perhaps Allaah
will compensate you with someone better than this man.
If you cannot find another husband, then staying without
a husband in your parents' house, where you will be
cared for and respected, will be better for you than staying
with this man, so long as you do not fear that you will
be tempted or will fall into haraam things. But if you
fear that you may be tempted, then being patient and
bearing worldly troubles by staying with this man will be
better for you than having to bear the punishment of Allaah.
The reasons for which it is permissible for a woman
to seek divorce (khula') from her husband are mentioned
in Question 1859 on this site.
And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A Sheikh
Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com)
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26810: He was told that his wife had revived a
previous forbidden relationship so he divorced her
Question:
My friend got divorced in this Ramzan and his
wife was(is) 5 months pregnant as well .
The reason for divorce was that his wife had boy
friends before marriage and someone said that after marriage
also she would meet her ex boy friends .
On this reason he divorced her and under the influence
of his parents.
Now what i want to know is was that a right path , did
it have Allah's Sanction to this deed ?
what about the child who is in the womb ? What
will happen to that baby and his/her future ?
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
What you have mentioned in the question covers a
number of issues:
1 _ What you have mentioned about your friend
divorcing his wife during her pregnancy is valid according to
the consensus of the scholars, because of the hadeeth of
Ibn `Umar in al-Saheehayn, according to which the
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
"Tell him to take her back, then to divorce her when she is
pure (not menstruating) or pregnant." That indicates
that whoever divorces (his wife when she is) pregnant,
the divorce is valid. (Fataawa al-Talaaq by Ibn Baaz, 1/45).
2 _ With regard to the reason that led him to divorce
her, which is that person telling him that she had been
meeting with her former boyfriend after marriage, we advise
those who want to pass things on to make sure that any news
is true before they pass it on, and that their intentions
are good. Her husband too should have checked whether
what he was told was true or not, and not divorce her on
these grounds without verifying anything. Allaah
says (interpretation of the meaning):
"O you who believe! If a Faasiq (liar — evil
person) comes to you with any news, verify it, lest you
should harm people in ignorance, and afterwards you
become regretful for what you have done"
[al-Hujuraat 49:6]
Hastening to divorce one's wife without
verifying anything and without giving oneself time to think it
over is a rejection of the blessing of marriage for no valid
reason and destroying the family which is a blessing that
Allaah has bestowed upon the children of Adam, as Allaah
says (interpretation of the meaning):
"And among His Signs is this, that He created for
you wives from among yourselves, that you may find
repose in them, and He has put between you affection and
mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect"
[al-Room 30:21]
If he finds out that something displeasing is true, then
he may try to correct it through the means which he
is permitted to use by virtue of his being in charge of
his wife (qiwaamah), or he may separate from her,
whilst also concealing her sin.
3 _ If the wife had previous relationships, before
marriage, then she got married and repented to Allaah, and
broke off all forbidden relationships, then she should not
be rebuked for what is in the past, because the one who
has repented from a sin is like one who has never
sinned. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"And He it is Who accepts repentance from His
slaves, and forgives sins"
[al-Shoora 42:25]
It is not permissible to expose her, to tell everyone
about her or to call her to account for the past; rather he
should cover up her past and her secrets; whoever conceals
the faults of a Muslim, Allaah will cover his faults in
this world and in the Hereafter.
Such cases explain to us the wisdom of the sharee'ah
in forbidding everything that may lead to an
improper relationship between a man and a woman, such as
looking at a non-mahram woman, shaking hands with her,
being alone with her, and so on, whether that is before
marriage or afterwards.
4 _ With regard to the husband's parents applying
pressure on him to divorce her without any proof of the things
of which she had been accused, obedience to parents
should only be with regard to that which is good and
proper, things that Allaah and His Messenger (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) have permitted. The
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
said: "Obedience is only with regard to that which is good
and proper."
(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 7245; Muslim, 1840).
His parents' orders to hasten to divorce her with no
proven sin on the wife's part is not something which is good
and proper.
5 _ With regard to the foetus in her womb, the
basic principle in sharee'ah is that that the child belongs to
the (marriage-) bed and belongs to the husband, unless
he disowns him, because of the hadeeth of the Prophet:
`The child belongs to the (marriage-)bed and the adulterer
is to be stoned."
(al-Bukhaari, 2053; Muslim, 1457).
i.e., the child is to be attributed to the husband and
no attention is to be paid to doubts and the like, especially
in a case like this where the doubts are far-fetched.
Islam encourages us to attribute children to their fathers, so
this husband should not open the door to waswaas
(whispers of the Shaytaan) with regard to his son who will be
born to the wife he has divorced, because he has no
evidence to the contrary.
If this husband wants to go back to his wife after
this divorce (talaaq), if she is still pregnant and he issued
the talaaq once or twice, then she is still his wife
according to sharee'ah, because her `iddah has not yet ended.
Allaah says:
"And for those who are pregnant (whether they
are divorced or their husbands are dead), their
`Iddah (prescribed period) is until they lay down their burden"
[al-Talaaq 65:4]
So he may take her back and ask two men to bear
witness that he is taking her back; in this way she will become
his wife again.
But if she has already given birth and this was the first
or second talaaq, then he may go back to her with a
new contract, so long as it meets all the necessary
conditions. And he should beware of such news and take care
to protect his wife and keep her away from places
which may give rise to suspicion. And Allaah knows best.
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14569: The `iddah of a woman divorced by khula' and
her going back to her husband
Question:
If a wife asks her husband for a khula and he
accepts, how long is the waiting period?Is it irrevocable i.e
can they ever re-marry?
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
If the woman who has been divorced by khula' is
pregnant then her `iddah lasts until she gives birth, according
to scholarly consensus. Al-Mughni, 11/227.
But if she is not pregnant, the scholars differed
concerning her `iddah. Most of the scholars said that she should
wait for three menstrual cycles, because of the general
meaning of the aayah (interpretation of the meaning):
"And divorced women shall wait (as regards
their marriage) for three menstrual periods"
[al-Baqarah 2:228]
But the correct view is that it is sufficient for a
woman divorced by khula' to wait for one menstrual
cycle, because the Prophet SAWS (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) told the wife of Thaabit ibn Qays, when
she divorced him by khula', to wait out the `iddah for
one menstrual cycle. (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1185;
classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh
al-Tirmidhi, 946). This hadeeth refers specifically to khula' divorce whereas
the aayah quoted above speaks of divorce in general. But
if she waits out an `iddah of three menstrual cycles that
will be more complete and will be on the safe side, and
will avoid an area of scholarly dispute, as some scholars
say that she should wait for three menstrual cycles, based
on the aayah quoted.
Fataawa al-Talaaq by Shaykh Ibn Baaz, 1/286.
There is nothing wrong with them remarrying with a
new marriage contract. See question no. 10140.
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13243: Some causes of divorce
Question:
What are the causes of divorce in your opinion?
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
There are many causes of divorce, such as lack of
harmony between the spouses, such that one of them does not
love the other, or neither of them loves the other; or a
bad attitude on the wife's part, or her failure to listen to
and obey her husband with regard to things that are good
and proper; or a bad attitude on the part of the husband
and his mistreating her and being unfair to her; or inability
on the part of either spouse to fulfil the rights of the other;
or sin on the part of one or both of them, which may
generate a bad atmosphere between them and eventually lead
to divorce, such as use of intoxicants and tobacco on
the part of either spouse; or a bad atmosphere between
the wife and one or both parents of the husband; or a lack
of wisdom in dealing with one another; or the wife's
failure to keep herself clean and make herself attractive to
her husband by wearing nice clothes, smelling good,
speaking nice words and greeting him with a smiling face
when they meet.
Fataawa al-Shaykh Ibn Baaz, in al-Fataawa
al-Jaami'ah li'l-Mar'ah al-Muslimah, part 2, p. 666
(www.islam-qa.com)
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13254: Divorce from a husband who is addicted to smoking
Question:
My husband is addicted to smoking and he suffers
from asthma. There have been many problems between
us concerning his giving up smoking. Five months ago
my husband prayed two rak'ahs to Allaah and swore that
he would never smoke again, but he started smoking
again one week after making that vow, and the
problems between us started again. I asked him for a divorce but
he promised me that he would not start smoking again
and that he would give it up forever, but I am not
confident that he will be able to keep his word. What is your
opinion, what is the expiation for his broken vow and what do
you advise me to do?
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
Smoking is one of the evil things that are forbidden,
and it causes a great deal of harm. Allaah says in His
Holy Book, in Soorat al-Maa'idah (interpretation of
the meaning):
"They ask you (O Muhammad) what is lawful for
them (as food ). Say: `Lawful unto you are AtTayyibaat
[all kinds of Halaal (lawfulgood) foods which Allaah
has made lawful (meat of slaughtered eatable animals,
milk products, fats, vegetables and fruits)]'"
[al-Maa'idah 5:4]
And He says in Soorat al-A'raaf, describing the
Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him):
"he allows them as lawful AtTayyibaat (i.e. all good
and lawful as regards things, deeds, beliefs, persons
and foods), and prohibits them as unlawful AlKhabaa'ith
(i.e. all evil and unlawful as regards things, deeds,
beliefs, persons and foods)"
[al-A'raaf 5:157]
Undoubtedly smoking is an evil and unlawful thing,
so your husband must give it up and keep away from it,
in obedience to Allaah and His Messenger (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and so as to avoid
that which incurs the wrath of Allaah, and to protect
his religious commitment and health, and to maintain
good relations with you. As expiation for his broken oath
he must offer kafaarat yameen, as well as repenting to
Allaah for starting to smoke again. This expiation means
feeding or clothing ten poor persons, or freeing a believing
slave; it is sufficient to give them dinner or lunch, or to
give each of them half a saa' of the staple food of the
country Which is equivalent to a kilo and a half.
We advise you not to ask him for a divorce if he
prays and he is a man of good conduct, and if he gives
up smoking. But if he persists in this sin there is nothing
to prevent you from asking him for a divorce.
Shaykh Ibn Baaz, al-Fataawa al-Jaami'ah li'l-Mar'ah
al-Muslimah, part 2, p (www.islam-qa.com)
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22034: Divorce uttered in anger
Question:
I would like to ask you about an incident happened 4
days ago to my muslim brother. He said to his wife that, he
is giving her three talak at once and sweared after that.
But after couple of hours he regret for saying that, and
also claiming he was angry at the moment he was talking
to his wife. So sheikh my brother wants to know if is
he allowed to go back to his wife because it is its first
time to say that or is not allowed? according to islamic
sheria. I would like some qoutations on your decision because
I heard different views from people but with no
evidence from the sharia.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
Anger is of three types:
1 _ when anger is so intense that are person is no
longer aware of what he is doing or saying, and becomes
like one who is insane or mad. In this case the talaaq
(divorce) does not count, according to all the scholars, because
he is like one who is insane and mad, who has lost all
power of reason.
2 _ when his anger is intense but he understands what
he is saying and doing, but his anger is intense and he
cannot control himself because the argument trading of
insults or fighting has gone on too long, so his anger may
be intense because of that. In this case there is a
difference of opinion among the scholars, but the most correct
view is that divorce does not count in this case either,
because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) said: "There is no divorce and no freeing of slaves
when it is done by force or in a state of intense anger."
(Narrated by Ibn Maajah, 2046; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani
in al-Irwa', 2047)
3 _ mild anger, which is what happens when the
husband is upset with his wife, or he is disappointed
about something that his wife has done, but it is not so
intense that it makes him lose his power of reasoning or
self-control. Rather it is the ordinary kind of anger and is
mild. In this case the divorce is valid according to the all
the scholars.
This is the correct answer regarding divorce uttered
in anger, as was stated by Ibn Taymiyah and Ibn
al-Qayyim, may Allaah have mercy on them.
And Allaah knows best.
May Allaah send blessings and peace upon our
Prophet Muhammad.
Fataawa al-Talaaq by Shaykh Ibn Baaz, pp. 15-27 (www.islam-qa.com)
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9593: Does signing a divorce paper count as divorce?
Question:
If a husband receives an official form from the court
on which is written the words "I divorce my wife" and
he signs it, is that counted as a divorce?
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
Yes, this is a divorce if the name of the wife is written
on the form.
Shaykh Ibn Jibreen
(www.islam-qa.com)
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21592: Ruling on asking for a divorce from a husband
who has some medical problems
Question:
My husband and i been married for the last 11 years
and we could not have childrens due to my husband who
had a medical problems whimhich he knew of but had hide
it from me before we got married and had i knew than
i woulden,t have got married to him and my question is.
I want to divorce him and wanted to know what are
my right?
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
If the problems to which you refer have to do with
some defect in your husband that discourages intimacy
between you, or prevents achievement of the purposes of
marriage such as mercy and love, because he is not able to
have intercourse or he suffers from a sickness which
prevents him from being intimate, then the scholars count
these things as faults in the marriage which entitle the wife
to have the choice: in other words, you have the right
to annul the marriage contract or to leave it as is, and
he does not have the right to take any part of the mahr
from you, because you gained the right to the mahr in
return for the intimacy that he has had with you in past years.
With regard to the man's sterility, i.e., his inability to
father children, this is not counted as a fault that
would necessitate annulment of the marriage, according to
the majority of scholars, apart from the view of al-Hasan
al-Basri, and Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah was
also inclined towards that view.
The husband should have explained his situation to
his wife, because the wife has the right to have children
just as the husband does. For this reason a husband is
not permitted to practise `azl (coitus interruptus) _
which means ejaculating outside the vagina _ without his
wife's consent.
Ibn Qudaamah said, after listing the faults which give
the wife the option of annulling the marriage contract,
We do not know of any differing opinion among
the scholars concerning this matter, except that al-Hasan
said: If one finds that the other is sterile, there is the option
of annulling the marriage.
Ahmad preferred that (the husband) should state
his situation and said: Perhaps his wife wants to have a
child, and this should be clarified at the beginning of
the marriage. As for annulment, there is no proof of that
(in sharee'ah), otherwise it would apply in the case of
women when they reach menopause, and such a ruling is
not known. For a man may not have a child when he is
young, then he may have a child when he is an old man, or
they may not have children at all.
With regard to other faults, according to the scholars it
is not proven that they are grounds for annulment.
(al-Mughni, 7/143)
On this basis, if you do not want to put up with him,
then either he should divorce you by talaaq according
to sharee'ah, or you may free yourself from him by
khula', whereby you agree to give him a certain amount of
money, or you return the mahr to him or whatever you agree
upon, whatever will be a suitable recompense in return
for khula', then he should divorce you with a single
talaaq. This talaaq will count as a revocable divorce, and he
will not have the right to take you back during the `iddah
or afterwards unless there is a new marriage contract
that meets the appropriate conditions.
The evidence that khula' is permissible is the
aayah (interpretation of the meaning):
"The divorce is twice, after that, either you retain her
on reasonable terms or release her with kindness. And it
is not lawful for you (men) to take back (from your
wives) any of your Mahr (bridal-money given by the husband
to his wife at the time of marriage) which you have
given them, except when both parties fear that they would
be unable to keep the limits ordained by Allaah (e.g. to
deal with each other on a fair basis). Then if you fear that
they would not be able to keep the limits ordained by
Allaah, then there is no sin on either of them if she gives
back (the Mahr or a part of it) for her Al-Khul` (divorce).
These are the limits ordained by Allaah, so do not
transgress them. And whoever transgresses the limits ordained
by Allaah, then such are the Zaalimoon (wrongdoers)"
[al-Baqarah 2:229]
The evidence from the Sunnah is the hadeeth narrated
by al-Bukhaari in his Saheeh (4867) from Ibn `Abbaas,
in which it says that the wife of Thaabit ibn Qays came
to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) and said, "O Messenger of Allaah, I do
not blame Thaabit ibn Qays for any defect in his character
or his religious commitment, but I would hate to commit
an act of kufr when I am a Muslim." The Messenger of
Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said,
"Will you give him back his garden [which he had given
as mahr]?" She said, "Yes." The Messenger of Allaah
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said (to
Thaabit), "Accept the garden, and divorce her once."
The scholars are agreed that khula' is permissible if
there is a shar'i reason for it. For more information on
the reasons, please see question no. 1859.
We must advise you that if your husband's character
and religious commitment are good, and there is no risk
of you falling into haraam things if you remain married
to him, then it is better for you to be patient and stay
with your husband; perhaps Allaah will grant you from
him sons and daughters who will be the apple of your eye.
And Allaah knows best what is right.
See al-Mughni by Ibn Qudaamah, 7/246;
al-Mawsoo'ah al-Fiqhiyyah, 19/238, 240.
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21413: A number of questions about divorce
Question:
I have three urgent and, I believe,very
imporatant questions about Divorce (Talaq).
1. Is what is known in the west as SEPARATION permitted in Islam? A muslim husband and wife
with children living in the west are seriously
considering divorce. Somebody suggested trying Separation first.
The husband would move out to a place nearby but since
they are still married there would be no problem comming
in the house at any time. He would still continue to
support the family in every respect.
2. For consummated marriage and with first Talaq,
when does Eddah end? Is it the end of the third period
(bleeding) or the beginning of the fourth one?
3. What is permitted during Eddah that would
not constitute end of Talaq? I know that sexual intercourse
is not, but is kissing, touching and hugging ok?
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
With regard to the first question, the answer depends
on the circumstances. If what is intended by this action is
to reduce the level of tension in the relationship, then
they will come back together, or as a trial separation to
see what effect that will have on them and their children
so that it will help them to take a decision, and they
both agree to this temporary separation, then there is
nothing wrong with that.
If this is a decision that they have both taken, and
have agreed to separate from one another without
divorcing, then it should be said that if the woman foregoes the
rights that she will lose through this separation, and he
also foregoes his rights over her, and they think that this is
in their best interests and those of their children, and
the place where the woman and her children will stay is
a safe place where they will not suffer neglect, then that
is permissible, subject to these conditions. But if she
wants intimacy and he does not want to do that, or there is
the fear that she may do something wrong whilst she is
still married to him, and the like, then he should divorce
her, but still continue to spend on his children. And
Allaah knows best.
With regard to the second question: the `iddah of
a divorced woman who has periods, with whom the marriage has been consummated and who is not
pregnant, is a matter concerning which classical and
contemporary scholars have differed. The view which is regarded
as most correct by the majority of contemporary
scholars, such as Shaykh Ibn Baaz and Ibn `Uthaymeen, and
others, is that the `iddah ends when three menstrual periods
have passed, and as soon as the third period ends, the
`iddah ends. This is the view of many of the major
Sahaabah such as `Umar ibn al-Khattaab, `Ali ibn Abi Taalib
and Ibn Mas'ood, and it was narrated by Ibn al-Qayyim
from Abu Bakr, Abu Moosa and others (may Allaah be
pleased with them all).
(See Fataawa Islamiyyah, 3/310;
Fataawa al-Talaaq by Shaykh Ibn Baaz, 193;
Jaami' Ahkaam al-Nisa', 4/243).
With regard to the third question: "The women
whose divorce is revocable (i.e., first or second talaaq)
may uncover in front of her husband and adorn herself
and wear make-up and perfume. She may speak to him
and he may speak to her; she may sit with him and do
anything with him apart from intercourse and the things that
lead to it; that may only happen when he takes her
back. (Shaykh Ibn `Uthaymeen, Fataawa
Islamiyyah, 3/310)
If he kisses and embraces his wife with the intention
of taking her back, then that taking back is valid, with
no difference of opinion among the scholars. But if he
does not intend to take her back, then some scholars say that
it is permissible on the grounds that she is his wife, but
that it does not mean that he has taken her back; other
scholars say that embracing and kissing etc. are precursors
to intercourse, so the one who does them is sinning if
he does not intend to take her back. To be on the safe
side, he should not do that until after he has clearly stated
that he is taking her back, such as saying to his wife, "I
am taking you back," and two Muslim witnesses bear
witness to his taking her back by him saying in front of them,
"I ask you to bear witness that I am taking my wife So
and so back," and the like. Then he may do whatever he
likes of permissible things. And Allaah knows best.
(See Subul al-Salaam, 2/267).
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20002: Is it permissible to live with a husband who
takes out a riba-based loan?
Question:
Is it sinful for a wife to live with a husband who takes
out loan to start a business? Can this be a ground for
divorce? I would be grateful if you could advice me in how
to convience him that it is wrong what he is doing.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
If the loan that he has asked for is halaal, i.e. it is
not based on riba, and he intends to pay it back, then there
is nothing wrong with this, and this is not regarded as
a sinful loan.
But if this loan is a riba-based loan, then it is haraam
and it is not permissible for him to take it or to start a
business with this haraam money.
"And whosoever fears Allaah and keeps his duty to
Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from
every difficulty).
And He will provide him from (sources) he never
could imagine"
[al-Talaaq 65:2-3]
and :
"Whoever gives up something for the sake of
Allaah, Allaah will compensate him with something better
than that."
If you want to advise him, then in Question no.
9054 you will find some comments on this topic which you
can give him so that he might benefit from that, and
avoid that which is haraam.
With regard to his consuming riba, this may be
grounds for you to ask him for a divorce (talaaq) or to ask
for khula', but you do not have to do that, rather it is o.k.
for you to stay with him and live with him whilst
continuing to advise him to do that which is better, especially if
there is the hope that he will mend his ways.
With regard to eating from his money, if he has
a permissible source of income other than this, then
there is no sin on you or on you children if you eat from
this money. But if all his earnings are haraam and you
cannot find any other source of maintenance, and you have
no other halaal source of income, then it is permissible
for you to take just what you need, and no more,
because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"So keep your duty to Allaah and fear Him as much
as you can"
[al-Taghaabun 64:16]
So in this case if you take money, you are taking what
he is obliged to spend on you. But you should still
continue to advise him and tell him to refrain from taking
haraam loans, and to look for a way that is acceptable
according to sharee'ah, so that he can do work and earn his
provision thereby.
And Allaah is the Source of strength.
Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com)
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11798: How should a man take back his wife
after divorcing her?
Question:
I know when getting married a person needs their
parents blessing and consent but what if a married couple
are separated and are considering returning to each other,
do they still need their parents blessing all over again?
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
If a man divorces his wife and this is the first or
second talaaq and she has not ended her `iddah (by giving
birth if she is pregnant or by the passage of three
menstrual cycles), then he can take his wife back by saying, "I
am taking you back" or "I am keeping you." Then his
taking her back is valid. Or he may do some action
intending thereby to take her back, such as having intercourse
with the intention of taking her back.
The Sunnah is to have two witnesses to the fact that
he has taken her back, so that two witnesses testify to
that, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"Then when they are about to attain their term
appointed, either take them back in a good manner or part with
them in a good manner. And take as witness two just
persons from among you (Muslims)"[al-Talaaq
65:2]
In this manner a man may take his wife back.
But if the `iddah has ended following a first or
second talaaq, then there has to be a new marriage contract.
In this case he has to propose marriage like any other
man, to her guardian and to her. When she and her
guardian agree and they agree upon a mahr, then the
marriage contract is completed. That must be done in the
presence of two just witnesses.
But if the divorce is the final _ i.e., third _ divorce,
then she becomes haraam for him until another man
has married her, because Allaah says (interpretation of
the meaning):
"And if he has divorced her (the third time), then she
is not lawful unto him thereafter until she has
married another husband" [al-Baqarah
2:230]
So it is not permissible for him to marry her unless
she has been married to another man and the marriage
has been consummated, then he leaves her either
through death or divorce. This marriage must be a legitimate
shar'i marriage; if she marries him just to make it
permissible for her to go back to her first husband, that is not
permitted and she does not become permissible (to the
first husband).
See Fataawa al-Talaaq by Shaykh `Abd al-`Azeez
ibn Baaz, 1/195-201. (www.islam-qa.com)
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12496: A husband has not been fulfilling his
responsibility towards his wife for five years
Question:
If the husband does not take the responsiblity of a
wife throughout his marraige of 5 years . what is the
wife suppose to do in such case, Is she entitled to
maintaince, or if she decides to have a seperation what is the
procedure for the divorce according to Quran and sunnah?
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
Undoubtedly it is the husband's obligation to spend
on his wife and to do his duty towards her and give her
all her rights. If he fails her and falls short in his
duties towards her, or he causes her harm, then she has the
right to demand separation, i.e., divorce. But before that
she has to ask him to spend on her and provide her
with accommodation, because Allaah says (interpretation
of the meaning):
"Lodge them (the divorced women) where you
dwell, according to your means"
[al-Talaaq 65:6]
"Let the rich man spend according to his means; and
the man whose resources are restricted, let him
spend according to what Allaah has given him. Allaah puts
no burden on any person beyond what He has given
him"[al-Talaaq 65:7]
And he has to live with her honourably. Allaah
says (interpretation of the meaning):
"and live with them honourably"[al-Nisaa'
4:19]
If her husband gives her her rights as prescribed
in sharee'ah, then it is haraam for her to ask for
divorce, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah
be upon him) said: "Any woman who asks for divorce
when there is no reason, the fragrance of Paradise will
be forbidden to her." But if she is being harmed, and
the situation is too much for her to bear, and he is not
spending enough on her or he is not giving her her rights, then
she has the right to ask for a divorce. She should go to
the qaadi and explain the situation to him, and he in
turn should ask the husband to give her her rights or to
divorce her.
Shaykh `Abd-Allaah ibn Jibreen.
(www.islam-qa.com)
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11681: Does leaving one's wife for a long time count
as divorce?
Question:
I am the second wife of a man from XXX . I have
recently reverted to Islam and my 3 kids have also. My question
is My husbands wife in XXX has been without him for
14 months now. He doesn't give her the equallity that he
is suppose to and she is very upset. I was told that if a
man is away from his eife for more than 4 months, that
this automatically means that they are divorced. is this
true? He wants to stay married for his daughters sake, and
I feel it is wrong for him to keep stringing her along.
I'm not sure she knows that he plans on remaining here in
the XXX . and only visiting XXX a few months a year.
Please help me with this. alot of people are being hurt?
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
So long as the husband has not uttered the word of
divorce to her, and the wife has not gone to the qaadi to seek
a divorce, then divorce has not taken place. She is still
his wife and divorce does not take place
automatically. Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him)
was asked when a woman is considered to be divorced.
He said:
"A woman is considered to be divorced when her
husband pronounces the word of divorce to her, when he is of
sound mind and under no compulsion to do so, and there is
no impediment to divorce such as his being insane
or intoxicated, etc., and the woman is pure (not
menstruating or bleeding following childbirth) and he has not
had intercourse with her since she became pure, or she
is pregnant or post-menopausal."
Fataawa al-Talaaq by Shaykh Ibn Baaz, 1/35
It is haraam for this husband to do this and leave his
first wife, and not treat her fairly or justly. By doing this he
is exposing himself to the stern warning. It was
narrated that Abu Hurayrah said: "The Messenger of Allaah
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
"Whoever has two wives and inclines more to one of them than
the other, will come on the Day of Resurrection with half
of his body leaning."
(Narrated by Ibn Maajah, 1959; classed as saheeh by
al-Albaani in Saheeh Sunan Ibn Maajah, no. 1603).
If the first wife is being harmed by this, she has the
right to refer the matter to the qaadi, so that he can force
the husband either to divorce her or to annul the
marriage. Because the scholars considered not having
intercourse with one's wife with the intention of harming her, even
if he has not sworn an oath to that effect, to come under
the same ruling as one who takes an oath not to have
sexual relations with his wife (cf. al-Baqarah 2:226). In this
case, if he does not go back to his wife and refuses to
divorce her, then the judge may make him divorce or annul
the marriage.
And Allaah knows best.
See al-Mulakhkhas al-Fiqhi by al-Fawzaan, 2/321
See also Question no. 9021.
Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid
(www.islam-qa.com)
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14219: Doubt concerning the number of divorces (talaaq)
Question:
A person divorced his wife but he is not sure of the
number of divorces, whether it was two or three. What is the
ruling in this case?
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
If the husband is unsure as to whether he uttered the
word of divorce at all, or as to the number of divorces he
has uttered, then he should act on the basis of what is
certain. So if he is not sure whether he has divorced her or
not, the basic principle is that divorce has not taken
place, because [in this instance] nikaah (marriage) is
something which is certain, and divorce is something
concerning which there is uncertainty. One of the basic principles
is that certainty cannot be overridden by doubt. If he
is uncertain as to whether he has divorced her once or
twice, he should assume that he has divorced her once,
because this is what is certain.
Shaykh Dr. Khaalid ibn `Ali al-Mushayqih.
(www.islam-qa.com)
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12287: Divorcing a woman by talaaq when she is pregnant
Question:
My husband divorced me while I was pregnant than
before I gave birth to my child he came back and said that
we are not divorced since pregnant women can't be
divorced. So I would like to know am I really divorced or not.
My husband and I love each other very much and now
we have a baby son. Please do reply to me as soon as possible.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him)
was asked whether a woman may be divorced by talaaq
when she is pregnant. He said:
This is an idea which is common among some
people. Some of the people think that a pregnant woman
cannot be divorced by talaaq. I do not know where they get
this idea from, for it has no basis in the words of the
scholars. Rather the view of all the scholars is that a
pregnant woman can be divorced by talaaq. There is consensus
on this point among the scholars, and there is no dispute.
Talaaq according to the Sunnah means that a woman
may be divorced in two cases:
1 _ She may be divorced when she is pregnant; this is
a Sunnah divorce and is not bid'ah.
2 _ She should be taahir (pure, i.e., not menstruating)
and her husband should not have touched her (i.e.,
had intercourse with her), i.e., she should have become
taahir following menstruation or nifaas (post-natal bleeding)
and before he has intercourse with her. Talaaq in this case
is in accordance with the Sunnah.
Fataawa al-Talaaq by Shaykh Ibn Baaz, 1/45-46
So long as he took her back during the `iddah, then she
is still his wife, because the `iddah of a woman who
is pregnant ends when she gives birth, and her husband
took her back before she gave birth. Allaah says
(interpretation of the meaning):
"And for those who are pregnant (whether they
are divorced or their husbands are dead), their
`Iddah (prescribed period) is until they lay down their burden"
[al-Talaaq 65:4]
This is the `iddah of the pregnant woman whether she
is divorced or widowed. The husband should count this
as one talaaq. And Allaah knows best.
Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid
(www.islam-qa.com)
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10438: Can he take his wife back after her `iddah
has ended?
Question:
Can a man and a woman go back together if they
have been seperated for a long time.They were husband
and wife.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
If a man divorces his wife with the first or second
talaaq, once her `iddah is over she is divorced and becomes
a "stranger" (non-mahram) to him; she cannot go back
to him except with a new marriage contract which fulfils
all the conditions set out in sharee'ah (see Question no. 2127).
But if he divorces his wife with the third talaaq, then
she becomes haraam to her first husband until she has
married a second husband in a genuine marriage which
is consummated. The Qur'aan [Qur'an, Quran]ic evidence for that is
the aayah (interpretation of the meaning):
"The divorce is twice, after that, either you retain her
on reasonable terms or release her with kindness…
And if he has divorced her (the third time), then she is
not lawful unto him thereafter until she has married
another husband" [al-Baqarah
2:229-230]
The last divorce refers to the third divorce, according
to all the scholars.
The evidence from the Sunnah is the hadeeth narrated
by `Urwah ibn al-Zubayr, according to which `Aa'ishah
told him that the wife of Rifaa'ah al-Qurazi came to
the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah
be upon him) and said, "O Messenger of Allaah,
Rifaa'ah divorced me thrice, then I was married to `Abd
al-Rahmaan ibn al-Zubayr al-Qurazi, but he has nothing
with him except something like this fringe. The Messenger
of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
said, "Perhaps you want to go back to Rifaa'ah? No, (it is
not possible), unless and until you enjoy the sexual
relation with him (`Abd al-Rahmaan), and he enjoys the
sexual relation with you."
(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4856; Muslim, 2587)
The phrase "divorced me three times" means that
this was the divorce which meant that she was no
longer married to him, which is the third talaaq. The
Prophet's words "until you enjoy the sexual relation with him
(`Abd al-Rahmaan), and he enjoys the sexual relation with
you" refer to intercourse.
Al-Nawawi said: "This hadeeth indicates that the
woman who has been divorced by a third talaaq is not
permissible to the man who has divorced her until she has been
married by another husband, who has intercourse with her
then separates from her, and she completes her `iddah.
Merely drawing up the marriage contract with her does not
make her permissible to the first husband. This is the view
of all the scholars among the Sahaabah, Taabi'een and
those who came after them.
Sharh Muslim, 10/3
And Allaah knows bets. May Allaah bless our
Prophet Muhammad.
Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid
(www.islam-qa.com)
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14024: Is it permissible for a man who has divorced
his wife by khula' to go back to her during the `iddah?
Question:
Is it permissible for a man who has divorced his wife
by khula' to go back to her during the `iddah?
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
Ibn Katheer (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
There is unanimous agreement that the man who
has divorced his wife by khula' may take her back during
the `iddah.
Tafseer Ibn Katheer, 1/277 (www.islam-qa.com)
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9787: Can a person divorce his wife who is the mother
of his children?
Question:
I heard from some of the common folk that the mother
of one's children cannot be divorced. Is this true? Do any
of the scholars say this?
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
This view is false and has no basis in sharee'ah. I do
not think that any scholar or seeker of knowledge could
give a fatwaa expressing such a false view. The
Qur'aan [Qur'an, Quran], Sunnah and scholarly consensus (ijmaa') indicate that
if a man divorces his wife, whether she is young,
middle-aged or old, when she is "pure" (i.e., not
menstruating) and he has not had intercourse with her, or she is
pregnant and it is obvious that she is pregnant, then she is
divorced. Allaah says of divorced women who are of
child-bearing age:
"And divorced women shall wait (as regards
their marriage) for three menstrual periods"
[al-Baqarah 2:228 _ interpretation of the meaning]
Allaah says concerning divorced women who have
passed through menopause:
"And those of your women as have passed the age
of monthly courses, for them the `Iddah (prescribed
period), if you have doubt (about their periods), is three
months; and for those who have no courses…"
[al-Talaaq 65:4 _ interpretation of the meaning]
Then He said concerning divorced women who are pregnant:
"And for those who are pregnant (whether they
are divorced or their husbands are dead), their
`Iddah (prescribed period) is until they lay down their burden"
[al-Talaaq 65:4 _ interpretation of the meaning]
If it is the third talaaq (divorce), then she is
irrevocably divorced and it is not permissible for him to take her
back until she has been married to someone else. If it is
the first or second talaaq, then two witnesses should
bear witness and he should take her back. Abu
Dawood narrated in his Sunan via Yazeed al-Rashk from
Mutarrif ibn `Abd-Allaah that `Imraan ibn Husayn was asked
about a man who divorced his wife then had intercourse
with her, and there were no witnesses when he divorced her
or when he took her back. He said: he divorced her in
a manner that was not according to the Sunnah and he
took her back in a manner that was not according to the
Sunnah. Bring witnesses when divorcing a woman or taking
her back, and do not do that again.
Shaykh Sulaymaan ibn Naasir al-`Alwaan
(www.islam-qa.com)
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12902: Is it better for a man to divorce his second wife
with whom he quarrels, so that she can have some peace?
Question:
Is it allowable for a husband to divorce his (second)
wife without her doing anything wrong? This man found
out that he does not have much in common with his
wife, often fights with her and dislikes things about her
through no fault of hers. Would it not be better to let her free
to marry someone who would love her and cherish her
than to keep her in a much-less-than ideal situation?
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
The man has to treat both of his wives fairly, and to
fear Allaah with regard to them. The woman should resist
her jealousy and strive to control herself (jihad
al-nafs) and not cause trouble to her husband because he has
another wife.
"The basic principle concerning divorce is that it
is makrooh (disliked), and if we say that the basic
principle is that it is forbidden, this is not far-fetched. This
is indicated by the words of Allaah concerning those
who take an oath not to have sexual relations with their
wives. He said (interpretation of the meaning):
`… then if they return (change their idea in this
period), verily, Allaah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.
And if they decide upon divorce, then Allaah is
All-Hearer, All-Knower'
[al-Baqarah 2:226-227]
The aayah ends with these two names, `All-Hearer,
All-Knower', if they decide upon divorce, to indicate
that Allaah does not like that, because in the case of one
who returns or comes back to his wife after swearing not
to have intercourse with her, it says that `Allaah is
Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.'
This makes it clear that Allaah likes the one who has
sworn such an oath to go back (to his wife). In the case of
one who has decided to divorce his wife, the use of the
words `Allaah is Oft-Forgiving, Most
Merciful' indicates that Allaah dislikes that. It was narrated that the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: `The
most hated of permissible things to Allaah is divorce.'
This hadeeth is not saheeh, but its meaning is saheeh.
Allaah dislikes divorce, but He does not forbid it to His
slaves, to make things easier for them. If there is a valid
reason for divorce, in sharee'ah or otherwise, then that
is permissible. Whether there is a valid reason depends
on whether the woman's remaining married will lead to
some shar'i reservation that can only be alleviated by
divorce, then he may divorce her, such as when the woman
is lacking in religious commitment or chastity, and he
is unable to reform her. In such cases, we say that it is
better for him to divorce her. But if there is no such valid
reason, whether shar'i or otherwise, then we say that it is
better not to divorce her; indeed in such a case divorce
would be makrooh."
(As'ilat al-Baab al-Maftooh by Ibn `Uthaymeen, p. 113)
With regard to the woman mentioned in the question,
if she is able to live with her husband in a good
manner, and if each of them can put up with the other at times
of short-lived anger, then this will be better for her, for
him, for their children and for the family of each partner. If
a good life cannot continue between them for some
reason on the part of one or both of them, and it appears
that separation is better for her or for him or for both of
them, then Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"But if they separate (by divorce), Allaah will
provide abundance for everyone of them from His Bounty"
[al-Nisaa' 4:130]
Allaah may provide her with a husband better than
him, who will be more righteous and treat her more
kindly. May Allaah help us all to do that which He loves
and which pleases Him.
Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid
(www.islam-qa.com)
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12179: Can the qaadi (judge) annul a marriage without
the husband being present?
Question:
Is muslim qazi permitted to invoke the proceedings
of khula on the unilateral initiation of woman living
away from her husband in the absence of her husband?
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
Yes, that is permissible, because the qaadi (judge)
has the authority to separate husband and wife and thus
end the marriage if it is impossible for them to maintain
a stable marriage and if the wife is being harmed by
her husband's neglect, whether it be sexual, economic
or social. The qaadi should study each case on its own
merits and look into the circumstances surrounding each
case. The husband's absence has no effect on the validity
of the annulment.
Shaykh Ibraaheem al-Khudayri (www.islam-qa.com)
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5684: Is premature ejaculation grounds for divorce?
Question:
Is ejaculation praecox (early ejaculation) a reason for
the wife to brake the marriage? I know that impotence is
a reason for that, but if someone comes afte 10 or
20 seconds, how it is in this case.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
We put this question to Shaykh Muhammad ibn
Saalih al-`Uthaymeen, who replied that if this is upsetting
the wife and causing her to miss out on her own
pleasure, then there is nothing wrong with her asking for a
divorce, but if she has children she should not be too hasty.
And Allaah knows best.
Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-`Uthaymeen (www.islam-qa.com)
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10209: He divorced her but did not send her the
divorce papers
Question:
Her husband divorced her and the `iddah came to an
end, but she cannot get the divorce papers from the
Islamic centre or get any proof of the divorce from the courts
in the city to which she has moved. Is it permissible for
her to remarry?
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
We put this question to Shaykh `Abd-Allaah ibn
Jibreen, may Allaah preserve him, who answered as follows:
She should ask for an annulment of the marriage in
the city where she has moved to, on the grounds that
her husband is absent and is not sending her any money
to live on. This annulment will take the place of a
divorce. And Allaah knows best.
Shaykh `Abd-Allaah ibn Jibreen (www.islam-qa.com)
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5792: He said, "I don't think my wife belongs to me"
Question:
A person said, "I don't think my wife belongs to
me". Does this count as talaaq (divorce)?
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
We put this question to Shaykh Muhammad ibn
Saalih al-`Uthaymeen, may Allaah preserve him, who
replied that this expression is not a clear statement of talaaq,
so we would have to look at what he meant when he said
it. And Allaah knows best.
Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-`Uthaymeen
(www.islam-qa.com)
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5225: He wrote a letter of divorce to his wife intending
to send it at the end of the month
Question:
His wife insisted on divorce, and he told her "Think
about it for one month." But she did not change her mind,
and she left. When the month was nearly over, he wrote
a letter of divorce, intending to send it to her exactly at
the end of the month. She got in touch with him one
day before the end of the month and said, "I want to
come back." So did the divorce take place?
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
We put this question to Shaykh Muhammad ibn
Saalih al-`Uthaymeen, may Allaah preserve him, who replied
as follows:
The matter is according to his intention; if he
intended divorce, then the divorce has happened. But it seems
that he did not want the divorce to happen until the end of
the month, so on this basis the divorce did not happen.
And Allaah knows best.
Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-`Uthaymeen (www.islam-qa.com)
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1859: Examples of acceptable reasons for asking
one's husband for khula'
Question:
Is it possible for the wife to get a khula even if the
husband will not agree to it? Can you mention some reasons ?.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
I put this question to our Shaykh `Abd-Allaah ibn
`Abd al-Rahmaan ibn Jibreen, and he answered as follows:
If a woman dislikes her husband's treatment of her _
for example, he is over-strict, hot-tempered or
easily-provoked, or gets angry a lot, or criticizes her and
rebukes her for the slightest mistake or shortcoming, then she
has the right of khula' [female-instigated divorce].
If she dislikes his physical appearance because of
some deformity or ugliness, or because one of his faculties
is missing, she has the right of khula'.
If he is lacking in religious commitment _ for
example, he doesn't pray, or neglects to pray in jamaa'ah, or
does not fast in Ramadaan without a proper excuse, or he
goes to parties where haraam things are done, such
as fornication, drinking alcohol and listening to singing
and musical instruments, etc. _ she has the right of khula'.
If he deprives of her of her rights of spending on
her maintenance, clothing and other essential needs,
when he is able to provide these things, then she has the right
to ask for khula'.
If he does not give her her conjugal rights and thus
keep her chaste because he is impotent (i.e. unable to
have intercourse), or because he does not like her, or he
prefers someone else, or he is unfair in the division of his
time [i.e., among co-wives], then she has the right to ask
for khula'. And Allaah knows best. Shaykh `Abd-Allaah
ibn `Abd al-Rahmaan ibn Jibreen (www.islam-qa.com)
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11105: Is a divorce done by the judge valid?
Question:
Is a divorce (talaaq) or annulment of marriage
(faskh) done by a judge in a civil, non-sharee'ah court valid, in
a case where the husband or wife approached the
court which rules according to man-made laws to deal with
the demand or request to end the marriage contract,
because there is no Islamic qaadi?
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
The marriage contract may be drawn up according
to sharee'ah outside this court, then it may be taken to
the court for official confirmation. With regard to divorce,
it is not conditional for it to be registered in the court.
A husband may issue a divorce before two sound
witnesses, which may be written on a piece of paper which is
signed by the husband and two witnesses. Divorce may be
done in this manner, but a man should not divorce his
wife whilst she is menstruating or during a period of purity
in which he has had intercourse with her, unless they
have found out that she is pregnant.
From the fatwas of Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih
al-`Uthaymeen for al-Daw'ah magazine, issue no. 1762,
p. 37 (www.islam-qa.com)
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10186: She is divorced _ should she go back to her
family's country?
Question:
I'm a working mother in the USA. I just got divorce
but I'm confused my husband is threatening me if I decide
to go back home to my family he can take my son a
way because they are both American citizen ,but not me.
My question to you Am I upsetting Allah for sitting her
without a Muhram & what can I do? It's hard to any of my
family member to come to the USA.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
We put this question to Shaykh Muhammad ibn
Saalih al-`Uthaymeen, may Allaah preserve him, who
answered as follows:
There is nothing wrong with her staying, if she is
sure that she will be safe (from falling into sin), because
this is her country now and she is living there. She is not
a traveller now. Perhaps she will find a new husband
soon and get married. And Allaah knows best.
Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-`Uthaymeen (www.islam-qa.com)
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9481: Can she ask for divorce because he is beating her?
Question:
CAN A WIFE OF A FEW MONTHS, AND PREGNANT DIVORCE HER HUSBAND DUE TO THE FACT
THAT HE DOESN'T SUPPORT HER IN THE CUSTOM SHE IS USED TO, BEATS HER UP, DOESN'T
RESPECT HER, AND REFUSES FOR HER TO GO TO THE MOSQUE TO PRAY, ALL THIS BECAUSE
SHE REFUSES TO GIVE PERMISSION FOR HIM TO MARRY AN AMERICAN WOMAN WHO
ONLY BECAME MUSLIM RECENTLY AFTER HE WAS MARRIED TO THIS TURKISH WOMAN. HE IS
ALSO AN AMERICAN, HE AND THIS OTHER WOMAN HAVE A CHILD OUT OF WEDLOCK.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
A woman has the right to ask for divorce when
her husband mistreats her in a way that she cannot stand
and cannot bear with patience, or if he falls short in
his obligatory spending on her, or if he is someone
who indulges in these evil actions _ if she thinks that
leaving him is in her best interests and will protect
her commitment to Islam and her chastity.
Shaykh Waleed al-Firyaan (www.islam-qa.com)
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10613: Does a husband have to be patient with his wife
all the time and not divorce her?
Question:
We know that the wife of Nuh (as), and the wife of
Lut (as) went to jahannam, may Allah protect us from
his displeasure, amin. Is this evidence that brothers
should patient with their wives all the time, and not divorce
them? I have heard that the Messenger of Allah, (pbuh),
divorced women. What is the difference between keeping a
woman with bad behavior and counseling her, and getting rid
of a woman with bad behavior?
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
Undoubtedly the wives of Nooh and Loot (peace be
upon them) will enter Hell with those who will enter it,
but they did not commit any obvious sin that would
imply kufr, otherwise it would not have been permissible
for these Prophets to have remained married to kaafir
women, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"… Likewise hold not the disbelieving women as wives"
[al-Mumtahanah 60:10]
Perhaps the wife of Nooh was concealing kufr, or
perhaps, despite the fact that Nooh had been calling people
to Allaah for so long, she was influenced by the call of
her people when she saw that all of her people were
following kufr, so she became doubtful and wondered how he
alone could be a believer when all of these people
were disbelievers, and they formed the majority of their
nation. So her kufr may have been secret. The same applies
to the wife of Loot, of whom they said that her only sin
was that she told her people about his guests, i.e., she
called them to come and commit obscene actions with
them. This was her sin, but it is possible that she was also
a kaafir in secret. Hence Allaah said (interpretation of
the meaning):
"… except his wife, she will be of those who
remain behind" [al-`Ankaboot 29:32]
This is a summary of the response given by Shaykh
`Abd-Allaah ibn Jibreen, may Allaah preserve him.
It is permissible for a husband to divorce his wife so
long as there is a shar'i reason for doing so, such as a lack
of religious commitment, a bad attitude, lack of
chastity, negligence, etc., even if she is not a kaafir. But if she is
a righteous believer, let him keep her, even if he
dislikes some of her characteristics, as the Prophet (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said. It was
narrated that Abu Hurayrah said: the Messenger of Allaah
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "Let not
a believing man hate a believing woman. If he dislikes
one of her attributes, he will be pleased with another."
(Narrated by Muslim from Abu Hurayrah, 1469).
When the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) wanted to divorce Hafsah, Allaah revealed to
him: Go back to Hafsah, for she fasts a lot and prays a lot
at night, and she will be your wife in Paradise.
Al-Mundhiri said: this was narrated by al-Nasaa'i and Ibn Maajah.
`Awn al-Ma'bood Sharh Sunan Abi Dawood, hadeeth
no. 2283.
The husband has to strive to reform his wife and pray
to Allaah to reform her. Allaah will reform a wife in
whom there is some crookedness, if He wills, as He
said concerning His slave Zakariya (interpretation of
the meaning):
"… and [We] cured his wife for him…"
[al-Anbiya' 21:90]
Some of the mufassireen (commentators) said that
she used to have a sharp tongue, i.e., her speech towards
her husband was offensive, so Allaah reformed her.
A man may put up with the difficulty of keeping his
wife in order to ward off a greater difficulty, which is that
of separating the children and dividing the family. But if
the harm caused by staying with one's wife is greater
than the harm caused by separating from her, there is
nothing wrong with him divorcing her. And Allaah is the
Source of strength.
Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid
(www.islam-qa.com)
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11761: She said to her husband "Divorce me", and he
said, "I agree"
Question:
I asked our shaykh, Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih
al-`Uthaymeen, the following question: She said to
her husband "Divorce me", and he said, "I agree", or she
said to her husband "I want a divorce", and he said, "I
agree". Does divorce take place when these words are said?
Answer:
He answered, may Allaah preserve him:
Praise be to Allaah.
Divorce does not happen by saying this.
Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-`Uthaymeen (www.islam-qa.com)
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5373: She got divorced overseas and the divorce papers
are not recognized by the official department
Question:
A moslimah married a moslem at a mosque in Germany.
Then she was divorced and got a paper certifying
her divorce.
When she tried to marry again with another moslem
in an arabic country, the marriage authority there did
not accept the divorce-paper because it did not include
the names Of two witnesses.
Now this mosque in germany does not exist any more.
The man she married and was divorced from him has travelled away and she does not know his adress.
Question: What can be done so that she can marry again?
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
We put this question to Shaykh Muhammad ibn
Saalih al-`Uthaymeen, may Allaah preserve him, who
answered as follows:
Yes, she can marry outside the Islamic centre, but
the marriage has to be conducted on her behalf by her
walee (guardian) (along with all the other conditions of
nikaah _ see Question #2127). The final condition is that
her `iddah (waiting period following divorce) should
have ended. And Allaah knows best.
Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid
(www.islam-qa.com)
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6125: Thrice-divorced at one time
Question:
My friends husband was angery he prounounced
"I divorce you" three times at the same time. He
was suspicious of her. When he was leaving divorced her
and at the same time he said if you only love me come back
to me. My friend is so upset she does not know what to
do. Is the divorce vaild. Please reply in details. May
Allah bless you. Thankyou.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
A divorce (talaaq) uttered at a time of anger where a
man has reached the point where he is not aware of what he
is saying and thus may be classified as (temporarily)
insane, does not count as divorce. But if he was aware of what
he was saying, then it does count as divorce, and because
he has divorced her three times, he cannot remarry her
unless some else has married and divorced her.
But if he is uncertain as to whether he spoke the words
of divorce or not, then this does not count as divorce,
because the basic principle is that she is his wife and is not
divorced unless it is certain.
The simple fact that a husband and wife love one
another does not mean that he can go back to her after they
are divorced.
And Allaah knows best.
Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com)
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6532: He wants to help a divorced woman
Question:
What about young women who were forced by their parents to marry someone, without their will and are
now divorced !
I know a person which I want to marry probably, she
has to fight with negative thoughts that she is only half
a woman and that she is a woman of second class after
she divorced by her husband.Her family treatens her like
a slave and she can't trust no men, after all it was the
failure of her parents as she never wanted this marriage. I
want to help her and I hope, when Allah gives me the help
and the strength, to marry her.I do not know what to do
because she is blocking and I hope that you can help me in
helping her to get rid of this negative thoughts.I told her that
I have no problem with the past situation but she
means that my parents would have a problem with this. Are
my parents allowed to forbid me to marry a person who
was already married, when she is pure, religious and full
of chasity?
I know that I need their will when I want to marry a
person, but the Quran doesn't teach about such a situation.
How can I help her, I would do anything to give her
the strength to get over this. Please help me !
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
Undoubtedly the best is to marry a woman whom
your parents approve of. If you want to help this woman
by marrying her, then try to convince your parents, and
you will be rewarded in sha Allaah. If they are not
convinced, then look for a Muslim brother who can marry her
and take care of her.
With regard to divorced women, if a divorced woman
is religious and well-mannered, then she is of high
standing and her divorce has no effect on her worth and does
not make her of any less value before Allaah. She has
to remain steadfast and not let these groundless ideas
affect her. We would also like to draw your attention to the
fact that it is not permissible to form a relationship with
a non-mahram woman and call her or contact her for
no reason, because of the temptation that this may pose
to her or to you. We ask Allaah to give you and her strength.
Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com)
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6315: The one who causes the divorce of a woman
Question:
A man married without the knowledge of his parents
and (first) wife, and they thought that the woman was not
a Sunni, so his mother insisted that he should divorce
her and she urged his father to force him to divorce her.
So he divorced her in obedience to them. Then his
mother regretted asking him to do that, and she is asking
whether there is any sin on her and if so, what the
kafaarah (expiation) is.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
According to the most correct opinion, it is not
permissible to divorce a woman without a valid reason, because
this is unjust to the woman and causes the blessing of
marriage to be lost for no reason, and the break up of a family
with which Allaah had blessed the sons of Adam, as
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"And among His Signs is this, that He created for
you wives from among yourselves, that you may find
repose in them, and He has put between you affection and
mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who
reflect" [al-Room 30:21]
Obedience to one's parents should only be with regard
to things that are right and good, that Allaah and
His Messenger love. It is not permissible to obey them
with regard to something that Allaah and His Messenger
have forbidden, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) said: "There is no obedience to anyone if
it involves disobedience towards Allaah; obedience is
only with regard to what is right and good." (Narrated by
al-Bukhaari and Muslim from Ali, may Allaah be
pleased with him).
And Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning);
"But if they (both) strive with you to make you join
in worship with Me others that of which you have
no knowledge, then obey them not; but behave with them
in the world kindly, and follow the path of him who turns
to Me in repentance and in obedience"
[Luqmaan 31:15]
No kafaarah is required from either the mother or
the father, apart from tawbah (repentance) and
istighfaar (seeking forgiveness); they should also try to put
matters right and bring people together again. If they do this,
they will have a reward (from Allaah). Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"There is no good in most of their secret talks save
(in) him who orders Sadaqah (charity in Allaah's Cause),
or Ma`roof (Islâmic Monotheism and all the good
and righteous deeds which Allaah has ordained), or conciliation between mankind; and he who does
this, seeking the good Pleasure of Allaah, We shall give him
a great reward" [al-Nisa' 4:114]
And Allaah knows best.
Massa'il wa rasaa'il, Muhammad al-Mahmoud
al-Najdi, p. 59.
(www.islam-qa.com)
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4459: Does the father have to pay for the children to
travel to visit their divorced mother?
Question:
the children from a previous marriage were living
with me.their mother moved 400 miles away and
remarried. she claims that it is my duty to provide the children
with transportation to visit her. is that true?
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
We put this question to Shaykh Muhammad ibn
Saalih al-`Uthaymeen, may Allaah preserve him, who
answered as follows:
No, that is not correct, but if Allaah has made the
husband rich and the wife's position is average or less, then it
is part of chivalry or manliness that he should pay for that
_ but it is not obligatory. And Allaah knows best.
Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid
(www.islam-qa.com)
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4343: When a Muslim signs papers divorcing his wife
in front of a non-Muslim judge
Question:
i married a muslem man feb 15, 1997. i was married
under islamic law and the laws of the state of virginia. i
am christain.
i told him i wanted a divorce and he said he did not
want it but he would give it to me if i wanted it. i went to
a lawyer and filed for divorce. he signed the waiver
and sent it back to me (he lives in new york) federal express
, he said he wanted it done fast. the paper was
witnessed by a notery public.
i held the papers for one week. i called him and
asked him if he wanted me to hold the paper, he said it did
not matter.
i sent the paper back to my lawyer and it was sent
to court.
the divorce was finalized nov. 2, 1999.
now he says that we are not divorced. am i divorced
from this man by islamic law? he belongs to the shafghy
school. he is suni.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
We put the following question to Shaykh Muhammad
ibn Saalih al-`Uthaymeen, may Allaah preserve him:
Has a man agreed to divorce his wife or has he
already divorced her, if what he said was: "I agree to divorce
my wife and she is now to be considered divorced"?
He answered:
This is a divorce, and if she has completed her
`iddah (waiting period of three menstrual cycles
following divorce) then she is free to marry someone else. But
if they have children together, I advise him to go back
to her. He has the right to take her back so long as he
issued just one divorce. And Allaah knows best.
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3292: He swore that if he did something, the first wife
he married would be thrice-divorced
Question:
Assalam-u-alaikum,
A close friend of mine is about to marry and is in
difficulty because of a statement he had made some time ago.
A few years ago when he was single, he swore that if
he does a certain work which he hated, he gives
three divorces on his first wife. He told me that he believes
he did that work later on. At that time he was not
engaged, nor did he know for sure who he was going to
marry. Now its been a long time and he intends to marry a
women, but isn't sure if his statement is going to make his
marriage null or not. The brother realizes that he made a
foolish statement and wants to know what to do.
Jazakumullaho khair.
Wassalamu alaikum
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
Imaam al-Bukhaari (may Allaah have mercy on him)
said in his book al-Jaami' al-Saheeh:
Chapter: there is no divorce before marriage. Allaah
says (interpretation of the meaning): "O you who
believe! When you marry believing women, and then divorce
them before you have sexual intercourse with them, no
`iddah have you to count in respect of them. So give them
a present, and set them free, i.e., divorce in a
handsome manner." [al-Ahzaab 33:49]. Ibn `Abbaas said:
"Allaah made divorce after marriage."
Among the evidence that there is no divorce
before marriage (nikaah) are the following reports:
The hadeeth of `Abd-Allaah ibn `Amr (may Allaah
be pleased with him), who said: "The Messenger of
Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
`There is no vow for the son of Adam with regard to that
which he does not possess; there is no setting free of (a
slave) whom he does not possess; there is no divorce of (a
wife) whom he does not possess." (Reported by
al-Tirmidhi, who said: a saheeh hasan hadeeth).
The hadeeth of `Abd-Allaah ibn `Amr (may Allaah
be pleased with him), who reported that the Messenger
of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
said: "No divorce except of (the wife) whom you possess;
no setting free except of (the slave) whom you possess,
and no selling except of (the goods) that you
possess." (Reported by Abu Dawood; it is a hasan
hadeeth).
The hadeeth of Ibn Makhramah from the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), who said,
"No divorce before marriage, and no setting free before
taking possession." (Reported by Ibn Maajah; it is a
hasan hadeeth).
Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him)
said: "Abu `Ubayd reported that `Ali (may Allaah be
pleased with him) was asked about a man who said, `If I
marry so-and-so, then she is divorced (straightaway).' `Ali
said: `There is no divorce except after taking possession.'
It was also reported that `Ali said: `There is no
divorce except after marriage even if he mentioned (the
woman) by name.'
This is the opinion of `Aa'ishah, and also of
al-Shaafa'i, Ahmad and Ishaaq and their companions, and of
Dawood and his companions, and of the majority of
hadeeth scholars.
Among the evidence to support this opinion is the
fact that when a man says, `If I marry so-and-so then she
is divorced', at the time when this suspended divorce
is uttered, the woman is still ajnabiyyah (literally,
`a stranger', not his wife or mahram) to him, and the
thing that comes later [i.e., marriage] takes precedence
over whatever went before [i.e., the vow of divorce].
Nikaah (marriage) cannot be divorce. Similarly, if he said to
a woman to whom he is not married yet, `If you enter
the house you will be divorced,' then she entered the
house after she became his wife, then she is not divorced.
There is no dispute (among the scholars)."
(Zaad al-Ma'aad, 5/217)
And Allaah knows best.
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(www.islam-qa.com)
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2523: Insinuating thoughts (waswaas) of divorce
Question:
Salamu Alaikum:
My question pertains to divorce in Islam.
I have been married for a year and early on in my
marriage I had strong and constant thoughts about divorce.
The divorce thoughts consisted of my repeating "I
divorce you" on many occasions in my head. I have
NEVER repeated these things out loud and they were only
thoughts in my head.
I no longer want to divorce my wife and would like
to stay with her. Is it possible for divorce to be valid just
by repeating the thought in your head? Is it haram for us
to stay together?
Please respond as soon as possible as this has
been haunting me for the past year.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
In cases like this, the divorce is not valid, for two reasons:
It is only in your mind, and has never been
expressed either verbally or in writing.
The divorce of a person who is afflicted with
waswaas (insinuating thoughts from Shaytaan) is not valid
because this is something that he has no control over, and it
carries no weight in sharee'ah.
And Allaah is the Source of Strength.
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2218: A man doesn't want to live with his wife but
doesn't want to divorce her for the sake of the children
Question:
A man has in the past had some major problem with
his wife. Neither she, nor he want divorce as they have
3 children, yet he cannot live with her and has left
the country. He would like to remarry in the new country
of residence, but is afraid of the condition of equity of
time between the two wives and that he will be called to
account for it before Allah. His wife will not willingly
relinquish her rights as she wants him to return to her, nor will
she accept a second marriage... Is it halal for him to tell
her that he will retain her as a wife only under the
condition that she relinquish her rights to his time to a second
wife? He does not want to oppress himself nor does he want
to oppress her.. what are his options?
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
If he has no interest in his present wife, there is
nothing wrong with divorcing her and marrying another, but if
he and she come to an agreement whereby she may
remain his wife for the sake of the children, there is nothing
wrong with this either. If he gives her the choice between
divorce and giving up her rights to his time and his spending
on her, in whole or in part, this is not oppression.
Oppression is when he keeps her by force without giving her any
of her rights whilst at the same time refusing to give her
a divorce.
The evidence (daleel) that the situation described
above is permissible is to be found in the hadeeth narrated
by Imaam al-Bukhaari from `Aa'ishah (may Allah be
pleased with her), which comments on the aayah
(interpretation of the meaning): "And if a woman fears cruelty
or desertion on her husband's part…"
[al-Nisaa' 4:128]. She said: "This was a woman who was married to a man
who did not care for her, so he wanted to divorce her and
marry someone else. (According to another report narrated
by al-Bukhaari she said: He was a man who saw
something he disliked in his wife, so he wanted to divorce her.)
She said to him: `Keep me, do not divorce me. Marry
someone else and I will absolve you of your obligation to spend
on me and share your time with me.' This is what
Allaah referred to when He revealed the aayah (interpretation
of the meaning): `… there is no sin on them both if
they make terms of peace between themselves; and
making peace is better…' [al-Nisaa' 4:128]."
(Reported by al-Bukhaari, 4807)
"This was a woman who was married to a man who
did not care for her" means that he did not love her or want
to treat her well or stay with her. "I will absolve you of
your obligation towards me" means: leave me
without divorcing me. Concerning this issue, Allaah revealed
the words (interpretation of the meaning):
"And if a woman fears cruelty or desertion on her husband's part…"
[al-Nisaa' 4:128]. `Ali reported that this was
revealed concerning a woman who is married to a man and
does not want to leave him, so they come to an agreement
that he will visit her every three or four days."
Al-Tirmidhi reported via Sammaak from `Ikrimah
from Ibn `Abbaas that he said: "Sawdah was afraid that
the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah
be upon him) would divorce her, so she said: `O
Messenger of Allaah, do not divorce me; give my day to
`Aa'ishah.' So he did so. Then this aayah was revealed."
Al-Tirmidhi said: "(This is) hasan
ghareeb." I say: there is corroborating evidence in a hadeeth from
`Aa'ishah narrated by al-Bukhaari and Muslim, without referring
to the revelation of the aayah. (From Fath
al-Baari).
The hadeeth mentioned by al-Haafiz ibn Hijr (may
Allaah have mercy on him) is in Sunan
al-Tirmidhi, 2966, where it is reported that Ibn `Abbaas said: "Sawdah was
afraid that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) would divorce her, so she said: `Do not divorce
me. Keep me and give my day to `Aa'ishah.' So he did
so, then Allaah revealed the aayah: `… there is no sin
on them both if they make terms of peace between themselves; and making peace is better…'
[al-Nisaa' 4:128]. So whatever they agreed upon was
permissible." It is as if the last sentence was the comment of
Ibn `Abbaas. Abu `Iesa said: this is a hasan
ghareeb hadeeth.
Al-Mubaarakpoori said, commenting on this hadeeth:
`Sawdah was afraid…' This refers to Sawdah bint
Zam'ah ibn Qays al-Qurashiyyah al-`Aamiriyyah. The
Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) married her in Makkah after Khadeejah had died,
and consummated the marriage there. The scholars agree
that he consummated his marriage to her before he consummated his marriage to `Aa'ishah, and she
migrated to Madeenah with him. She died at the end of the
khilaafah of `Umar ibn al-Khattaab.
`…was afraid that the Prophet (peace and blessings
of Allaah be upon him) would divorce her, so she
said…' Al-Bukhaari and Muslim reported from `Aa'ishah
that Sawdah bint Zam'ah gave her day to `Aa'ishah, so
the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
used to give `Aa'ishah her own day and that of Sawdah.
Al-Haafiz said in al-Fath: Abu Dawood reported this
hadeeth (from `Aa'ishah): `The Messenger of Allaah (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him) never used to
prefer any of us over others in sharing his time (i.e., he was
fair in dividing his nights among his wives, and each one
of them had her allotted night). When Sawdah bint
Zam'ah grew old and feared that the Messenger of Allaah
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) might divorce
her, she said: `O Messenger of Allaah, my day is for
`Aa'ishah,' and he accepted this from her. Then concerning this
and similar cases, the aayah was revealed (interpretation
of the meaning): `And if a woman fears cruelty or
desertion on her husband's part…' [al-Nisaa' 4:128]. These
reports agree that she feared divorce and so gave her day
to `Aa'ishah.
Then al-`Allaamah al-Mubaraakpoori said: The
aayah may be explained thus: `If a woman
fears' means if she expects. `Cruelty' means that he spurns her by
refusing to sleep with her or by spending less on her than he
should, because he dislikes her and wants to marry someone
more beautiful. `Desertion' means that he turns his face
away from her. `There is no sin on them both if they make
terms of peace between themselves' means with regard to
the sharing of his time and his spending on her, i.e., he
should still give her something in this regard (sharing time
or spending) in order to preserve the relationship: if
she accepts, this is OK, otherwise the husband must
either give her her full rights or divorce her.
`Making peace is better' means better than separation, cruelty and
desertion. Whatever they agree upon between themselves
is permissible.
(Tuhfat al-Ahwadi Sharh Jaami'
al-Tirmidhi).
And Allaah knows best, May Allaah bless our
Prophet Muhammad.
Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com)
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2373: Giving talaaq (divorce) three times at once is bid'ah
Question:
Could you please let me know according to the
Shafi mishep, if a man can give his wife Talaaq tree(3) times
at once.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
Giving talaaq (divorce) three times at once is bid'ah,
and goes against the aayah (interpretation of the
meaning): "… When you divorce women, divorce them at their
`iddah (prescribed periods)…" [al-Talaaq 65:1]. If a
Muslim wants to divorce his wife, he should divorce her
according to the Sunnah, which is to give one talaaq at a time
when his wife is taahir (not menstruating) and he has not
yet had intercourse with her following her period, or when
it is clear that she is pregnant. According to the
Shaafi'i madhhab and the majority of other madhhabs, giving
three talaaqs at once counts as three separate talaaqs and
is irrevocable, and the couple cannot remarry until
the woman has been married to and divorced from
another man. Other scholars say that three talaaqs given at
once count as only one talaaq.
And Allaah knows best.
Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com)
Our Price: $11.95 Pages: 396 Downloadable
488: Ruling on a Woman Asking for a Divorce from
Her Husband
Question:
If a couple differs in their Islamic perceptions. One
who grow up in the West and the other in the East. And
they quarrel constantly and can't come to an agreement.
At what point is talaq considered? Is it wrong for a sister
to ask for talaq? Will she be punished on the Day
of Judgment? Does the Arsh of Ar-Rahman shake once
talaq is asked for? This is what one sister, growing up the
West is being told by her husband from the East.
Jazak Allah khayr for your response.
Answer:
All Praises are Due to Allah
The divorce of a Muslimah from her husband is an
affair which is loathsome to Allah and not a praise worthy
event. This is due to the problems and possible evils.
However, if there is a situation in the marriage life taking
place between the man and the women, due to a defect or
defects in one or both of them, such problems of deen,
bad character, sickness, or a defect such as being sterile
or similar. Then out of the mercy of Allah, seeking
divorce is permissible. In this case, it is okay and there is
nothing prohibited in seeking a divorce.
The thing which is prohibited is a wife seeking a
divorce from her husband for no reason of the shariah. There
is serious promise made for seeking a divorce without a
valid reason. It is reported in the hadith of the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), "If a women
asks her husband for a divorce, for no reason, then the
smell of paradise is forbidden for her".
(At-Tirmidhi narrated it. He said this is a hasan
hadith. Sunnah At-Tirmidhi #1187.)
The hadith "marry and do not divorce for verily
divorce causes the arsha (throne of Allah) to
shake" is also forged and da'eef.
(Al Jami As- Sagheer #2429)
Allah knows best.
Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com)
Our Price: $11.95 Pages: 396 Downloadable
45174: Ruling on divorce at a moment of anger
Question:
A Muslim woman says that her husband has often
said, in moments of intense anger, "You are divorced."
What is the ruling on that, especially as they have children?.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him)
was asked about a man whose wife treats him badly and
insults him, so he divorced her at a moment of anger. He replied:
If you uttered the words of divorce at a moment of
intense anger and without realizing it, and you could not
control yourself, because of her bad words and insults etc.,
and you did that at a moment of intense anger and
without realizing it, and she acknowledges that, or you have
a witness of good character, then divorce has not
taken place, because the shar'i evidence indicates that
divorce does not take place if the words are spoken at a
moment of intense anger _ and if it is accompanied by not
realizing what is happening then the ruling applies even more so.
For example, Ahmad, Abu Dawood and Ibn Maajah narrated from `Aa'ishah (may Allaah be pleased with
her) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) said: "There is no divorce and no manumission
in the event of ighlaaq." The majority of scholars said
that ighlaaq means compulsion or anger, i.e., intense
anger. For his anger made him unaware of what he was
saying, so he is like one who is unconscious, insane or
drunk, because of the intensity of his anger. So divorce does
not take place in this instance. If he does not realize what
he is doing and cannot control his words or actions
because of the intensity of his anger, then divorce does not
take place.
Anger may be of three types:
1 _ When a person is angry and is no longer aware
of what he is doing. This is likened to the insane, so
divorce does not take place according to all scholars.
2 _ Where a person is very angry but is still aware
of what is going on, but his anger is so intense that it
makes him say the words of divorce. In this case too,
divorce does not take place according to the correct
scholarly opinion.
3 _ The ordinary type of anger which is not very
intense. In this case, divorce takes place, according to all
the scholars.
From Fataawa al-Talaaq, pp. 19-21, compiled by
Dr. `Abd-Allaah al-Tayyaar and Muhammad al-Moosa.
What the Shaykh mentioned about the second type
of anger is also the view favoured by Shaykh al-Islam
Ibn Taymiyah and his student Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah
have mercy on them both). Ibn al-Qayyim wrote an essay
on that entitled Ighaathat al-Lahfaan fi Hukm Talaaq
al-Ghadbaan, in which he said the following:
Anger is of three types:
1 _ That which is not so intense as to affect a
person's mind or rational thinking; he knows what he is
saying and what he means. There is no dispute that in this
case divorce, manumission and contracts are valid.
2 _ Where his anger reaches such a limit that he no
longer knows what he is doing or saying. There is no
dispute that in this situation divorce does not take place. If
his anger is so intense that he does not know what he is
saying, there is no doubt that none of his words should
be implemented in this case. The words of the mukallif
(adult of sound mind) are only to be implemented if he
knows what he is saying and what it means, and if the
speaker really means that.
3 _ The kind of anger that falls between the two
Islam & Muslims mentioned above, where the anger goes beyond
the ordinary level but not so far as to make him behave like
a madman. This is an area of scholarly differences
of opinion. The shar'i evidence indicates that
divorce, manumission and contracts in such cases are not
valid, and this is a kind of ighlaaq as the imams explained.
From Mataalib Ooli al-Nuha, 5/323; see also Zaad
al-Ma'aad, 5/215.
The husband has to fear Allaah and avoid using the
word of divorce (talaaq) so that this will not lead to
the disintegration of his family.
We advise husband and wife alike to fear Allaah and
heed His limits, and to look at what the husband said to
his wife in a fair manner: is this the ordinary kind of
anger, which is the only case in which divorce can take
place, and this is the third type in which divorce does take
place according to scholarly consensus. They should be
cautious and not transgress the limits of their religion, and
they should not let the fact that they have children make
them describe the husband's anger at the time he spoke
the words of divorce to the mufti as intense so as to get
the fatwa they want, even though both parties know that
this was not the case.
Based on this, the fact that the couple have
children together should motivate them to avoid using the
words of divorce recklessly; it should not cause them to try
to find a loophole in the shar'i rulings after divorce has
taken place and look for a way out or seek concessions
from the fuqaha' with regard to that.
We ask Allaah to bless us all with understanding of
His religion and help us to venerate His laws.
And Allaah knows best.
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